redkangaroo Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I'm in a weird situation these days, I've never been in such BS before and can't decide what to do. My ex now has a bf and lives with him. I love my ex, she says she loves me too, but it's not completely true from my point of view. I think she just wants sex from me and spend some time as we used too, as she finds me interesting person, but I'm sure she will take it for granted if we reconcile and will run from me in some months, as she did before. She wants me back and ready to break up with her now bf, she even told him so. He is that kind of person I would describe as a doormat, he cries and begs her to stay with him. If we lived in the same place I would accept this adventure and take her back, even knowing I will be hurt again soon, but just to have some happy time again. However we live far away from each other, and neither of us want to change their lives completely for this adventure. We are talking with her these days, including long Skype video calls, where we get very intimate, you know what I'm talking about, as intimate as possible, that's my fault, I shouldn't have allowed it to happen, but that's the way things are today. I don't care about her current relations and if she lets things be the way they are, it's not my business to be noble and stop contacting her to save her relations and the guy's sanity. Considering the fact that I've decided not to take her back, because she doesn't love me and has no serious intentions I have the following options: A. Go strait NC and forget her B. Continue talking to her, including Skype calls and meet her when I go to her country to be lovers, it can be one week somewhere in summer. C. Go NC now, but meet her in summer D. Continue talking, but never meet her Please tell me what would you do, if you were me. I really like talking to her and having all those Skype things, but I'm burning with jealousy knowing she is with him. Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 :sick: I mean, she is clearly a cheater, so getting back together would be a horrific mistake. You are giving her attention she craves, that's lame. I vote A. AAAAAAAA. you're never going to meet someone else if you keep this chick in your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 If we lived in the same place I would accept this adventure and take her back, even knowing I will be hurt again soon, but just to have some happy time again. However we live far away from each other, and neither of us want to change their lives completely for this adventure. Then it's an adventure not worth taking. It's time to go NC and try your best to forget her... It will be hard, but it's doable. Neither of you are willing to put the effort into making this relationship work. Link to post Share on other sites
Million.to.1 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I vote or an abridged version of C. Maintaining regular contact now is of no use whatsoever and quite mean spirited considering she is in a relationship, regardless of how you or her feel about it. I would not initiate contact or intimacy with her if i were you. See how you feel when summer rolls around.. Hopefully something better would have come into your life by then anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Do you think walking through fire is an adventure? You know you will be hurt if you do that right? Long lasting scars with a lot of pain...same thing. It makes zero sense. Noble isn't something you can pretend to be if it isn't part of your character make up. So why should you care if you hurt yourself and the other person in the process? No need to be act nobly toward anyone, including yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
despicableME Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Are you for real? Let me get this straight... you're actually asking if it's cool for your x-GF to cheat on her current BF, with you? Why did you guys break-up in the first place. It doesn't make sense. How old are you, BTW? Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Roo...not kids and just a live in bf? If you can eat the cake without getting emotionally hurt, then go eat it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redkangaroo Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Oh, I'm sorry for not following my own thread. Are you for real? Let me get this straight... you're actually asking if it's cool for your x-GF to cheat on her current BF, with you? Why did you guys break-up in the first place. It doesn't make sense. How old are you, BTW? I'm 31, and she is 29. Her bf is the same age as me. No, I'm not asking is it cool for her, I'm asking what would you do if you were me, considering you didn't care about the fact that she cheats on someone, because you disrespect their relations. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redkangaroo Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Roo...not kids and just a live in bf? If you can eat the cake without getting emotionally hurt, then go eat it. That's the point. I will be emotionally hurt, and I am hurt when I communicate with her, so NC, right? Link to post Share on other sites
standtall Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Red, if NC is what it takes to not get hurt, then do it. I personally would eat the cake(option B) in your situation. You don't want her for anything other than the benefits anyway....., she is damaged goods, a liar, and a cheater...you could never trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redkangaroo Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Her now bf contacted me today, it's our first contact ever. I didn't know it was him as he called from her skype account. He made a stupid offer. As far as she is going to dump him and work on getting back with me, he proposed both of us to ignore her, so she would end up with neither one of us. That would be cruel I think. Link to post Share on other sites
EspressoTorte Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 If the contact is hurting you, cut it off. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 ...he proposed both of us to ignore her, so she would end up with neither one of us. That would be cruel I think. Why do you think that would be cruel? What's being done to you isn't cruel? Link to post Share on other sites
Author redkangaroo Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) why would you want to be in that drama? there have to be better women out there for you. I'm 31 y.o. and I was looking for a gf and later for a life partner since I became an adult, for more than ten years now. I'm not the guy who can attract any girl, as I'm a bit weird, not a rich person and never wanted to be one, sometimes lazy to impress a girl. It so happened that my ex is the only girl I met, we had mutual interest in for at least one year, all the other girls I was interested in lost interest in me in 2-3 months. I also had many girls who was interested in me, but I didn't like them, at the moment I can count at least three who would be my gf if I wanted to. So that's the problem, I have some requirements for my potential gf in aspects of intellect, beauty, lifestyle, and I can't attract the ones that match, except of my ex. More than that I love her and miss her. Edited March 10, 2012 by redkangaroo Link to post Share on other sites
mississippimom Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Her now bf contacted me today, it's our first contact ever. I didn't know it was him as he called from her skype account. He made a stupid offer. As far as she is going to dump him and work on getting back with me, he proposed both of us to ignore her, so she would end up with neither one of us. That would be cruel I think. oh wow, so now the other bf knows about you and her....he probably has realized what she is doing or have done with you on skype. ugh. I'd leave her alone if I was you. There's like billions of other women out there who can give you the love you want. If I was you, stop all contact with her and stay out of their personal business. Link to post Share on other sites
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