rderrick Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Okay, so first off, I realize you cannot make anyone like or love you. I get that, but I am crazy about my best friend and I missed my chance with her. We're both 24, been friends since high school but over the last year we've grown to be best friends. During that time, we both expressed feelings for each other - I let the opportunity slip and didn't take a chance. She has moved on, has dated two guys since then (the first wasn't serious, the second is fairly new - he says they're a couple but she doesn't consider him her bf yet). Anyways, as far as me and her go, we talk everyday, share everything with each other - she's told me more than she has anyone else. She really is my best friend. I'll be the first to admit that I spoil her to a certain degree. She doesn't have a full time job now and money is extremely tight for her. If we go out, I almost always take care of the cost (I work full time) even though she always offers. She know I still have strong feelings for her, I expressed those as recently as two weeks ago (probably not smart), but it's never awkward. She is still very flirty around me and shows signs that she still may like me, but I am certain not like I like her. Is there anything I can do to help make myself more appealing? I don't initiate contact that often with her - it's almost always on her end. I don't want to remove myself completely, but I don't think I should be too available. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciate. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
lostboy11 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 You hit the nail on the head man. You are WAY too available and accomodating. This girl must know you are drooling over her, and she's loving the attention, regardless of whether she even remotely feels that way about you. Sadly, she's getting all this from you for FREE! I'm not saying she doesn't have feelings for you, but it is obvious that you do, making her realize that you are absolutely no challenge and 100 percent available at all times. If she wanted you, she could snap her fingers and have you. Right now, you are the guy she keeps in a glass case for emergencies because you're always there for her. Make yourself scarce but not sulky. Just stay confident. Be responsive, but not immediately responsive. Let her know you are doing fun stuff without her whether it be going out with other female friends or whatever. Cut down your availability be at least 50 percent and if you know what's really good for you 80 percent. Start working on your appearance. Spice up your wardrobe and maybe throw in some subtle cologne so when she sees you she'll notice the change. She already knows how you feel so she has to see that you have the strength to be your own guy and that you WILL move on if she doesn't seize the moment soon. Link to post Share on other sites
djmm Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 oh my goodness, that is me! i mean i knew it already but i am too available and too acomodating, hell i even said im your friend and you can count on me..... no challenge and yes in the glass case for a bailout when needed. Girls are weird though, they want/like the attention even if they act like they care less, but when you dont show the same attention, they act like whats up and what is your problem? I say be yourself RDerrick and do what you want, you've put your feelings out there, so has she, perhaps maybe know isnt the right time? but just be yourself and be respectful and kind and it could happen one day. Girls will let you know when they want you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rderrick Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 So sort of an update here, please feel free to offer any suggestion at this point. I have been initiating contact a lot less, and she still does text a good bit (we are best friends so...). When we do hang, which is obviously less than before, she seems much happier to see me - as if we'd gone too long without spending time. We had plans to hang out tonight but she wanted to switch to tomorrow, but I said no because I was meeting someone (a date - which wasn't made up lol). She wasn't jealous, but was interested - With who? A girl? When/where'd you meet, etc. Said it was great and asked why I didn't say something before. She sounds like she's happy for me, but obviously interested. I'm 99% sure she's into the guy she's seeing now so what I do probably doesn't matter too much. I guess at least she knows I'm not on a leash for her, so that's good. But you can't really gauge a person's reactions exactly over texts so who knows, we'll see what happens. But any advice, again, helps! Link to post Share on other sites
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