lifesupport Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Dear all, Long story short... I have been married for 4 years now. And I am 29 and my wife is 28 I think I had made mistakes in the past (before 2 years) regarding finances (which I even can't think that it was a mistake or not), but for the sake of moving forward, I assume that it was my mistake and I am sorry for everything. My wife is taking these past facts in mind and behaving with me. Anything I want to speak to her, I have to think twice to see that those things does not affect what I want to say. So every time, I am cautious about what I want to say. And if anything negative happens now which is not related to anything in the past, she still brings all those stuff forward and blames me for everything. It looks to me like she has developed a habit of blaming me for every time. She clearly tells me on my face that she is actually going to blame me for whole of my life and that I have to listen to everything. I take this on to my face and every time beg her to remain calm so that I can do my work and move forward and bring happiness to her life. Bottom line, I take all her stupid talks, blames on me, and everything else she talks on my face so that I can move forward and do good things. But is this really the way ? I think that I am not worth this but still I take it because I think I have married her and its my responsibility to make her happy. But how is this possible if she disturbs my mind state and I am not able to concentrate. Anyways, due to this, we never have sex. It has been like 4 years now and I can count on like 8 time we had sex. I like it but because she blames and does this stuff, I kind of feel that can I really have sex with her. She is beautiful but I kind of can not get erection with her. And she as well blames me for that. I sometimes feel that am I really hopeless ? Because we are not having sex, I kind of feel to look at other women (only look) but then I as well feel that I can not do this to her. But then where would I find the solution. My life is spoiled at the moment and I can do anything to make it better. Please advise Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Advise? Make an appointment to see a MC next Monday. Invite your wife. Do the same each week for a month. If, after that month, you find you are going alone, on the Tuesday following the Monday MC appointment, file for divorce. Clarify, communicate, compromise, decide. Welcome to LS Link to post Share on other sites
Author lifesupport Posted March 1, 2012 Author Share Posted March 1, 2012 Advise? Make an appointment to see a MC next Monday. Invite your wife. Do the same each week for a month. If, after that month, you find you are going alone, on the Tuesday following the Monday MC appointment, file for divorce. Clarify, communicate, compromise, decide. Welcome to LS Thanks. But I tried making an appointment with MC but she would tell me that I think she has gone out of her mind and wants to see a doctor and again point out those blames. I love her and I think she loves me tooo, I do not want to loose her but I can not find a way. I think she has taken me for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 You don't try, you do. Make one tomorrow. All it takes is a phone call. Some will even interview you for free to see if it's a good fit. Your needs (and likely hers) aren't being met in this M. Being proactive is a road to health. If divorce is part of that road, it is. What's your biggest fear, right now, today? That's what you'll want to talk with the MC about on Monday. Link to post Share on other sites
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