Mindykay Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 I want to try again Ok, Here it goes. I have been married for 12 years and I had an affair. There are too many reasons to mention why I had the affair but I did and we have been seperated for 2 years. My husband knows everything but no because I cam clean but because he caught me so the grace of coming clean is gone. I trully love this man and dont want anyone else and I know he loves me. I live 1 mile away from him and speak to him everyday(several times a day) How can i restore the trust and make him believe I do love him Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Originally posted by Mindykay I want to try again Ok, Here it goes. I have been married for 12 years and I had an affair. There are too many reasons to mention why I had the affair but I did and we have been seperated for 2 years. My husband knows everything but no because I cam clean but because he caught me so the grace of coming clean is gone. I trully love this man and dont want anyone else and I know he loves me. I live 1 mile away from him and speak to him everyday(several times a day) How can i restore the trust and make him believe I do love him No simple answer but you have to let go the OM and please your husband everyday. I think its really up to how much you try. Link to post Share on other sites
oscaroc Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I am in your husbands shoes exactly and i have been seperated for a while now not divorced though i have just filed. But before i filed i tried everything to make things work: counseling, books, time apart and nothing worked. we have a son togoether and i was neglecting him i felt but in order for me to fully concentrate on him i had to file for divorce. I was hanging on to hope. hope that she would come back to me. I know for a fact that if my wife came to me and expressed genuine emotions for me and was willing and tried to better our situation in any way i would give it another go. But i have a child and i don't know if you do. And i still love her very much and we had it so good . she was young when we married and is unsure if she wants to be married or single. I gave up because i was making all the efforts to mend things and she was doing nothing to try. If she actually showed some concern and made me feel like she loved me i would try some more to. Try reading this book i found it is titled " The five Love Languages" Phil something wrote it i forget though. It really makes sense and maybe that is the key for you to get back in his heart. Infedelitty is a serious blow to a mans ego and is really hard to fix. I wish you luck Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 The Five Love Languages is by Gary Chapman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mindykay Posted June 14, 2004 Author Share Posted June 14, 2004 Yes, we have 2 children, 10 and 14. It has been horrible for them because they are both close to their father. It really is an emotional roller coaster. I know that he still loves me but he is terrified of getting hurt again. I have done all the counciling, books (although I haven't read the one suggested but will) I know that the affair was wrong and a big blow to him but there is a very long story to all of it. It wasn't like I woke up one day and had an affair. But, no matter, what I did was wrong and trust me I pay for it every day in some shape, fashion or form. I love the man though so I guess I will continue to let him do whatever it is he does until he feels like he has "gotten even"It is my pennence.(spelled wrong) but it is all awful. I just don't know what to do. I love the man with all my heart and the other man is gone. It was never about the other guy. He was just very smooth and I was an easy target. Link to post Share on other sites
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