When I started dating my friend's x-bf

[Kristina]

Here is my story...

I started dating this guy a long time ago and hung out a lot with him and his friends. Well one of his friends became interested in one of my friends and they ended up going out for 5 months. They had absolutely NO contact with each other after the day they broke up. Me and my boyfriend broke up a few months later, and I started talking to his friend(my friend's x). Well, we started going out 10 months after they broke up and when my friend found out she got pissed and said we couldn't talk as long as I was with him. I could have understood her point if they had gone out for a longer period of time, or if I started seeing him as soon as they broke up. Both of which are not true. What does everyone else think of this situation?

[Pyrannaste]

Most girls I know would be upset if a friend of theirs dated one of their exes without informing them.

If a friend of mine dated one of my exes, I'd probably expect her to tell me too,

but

and said we couldn't talk as long as I was with him

I'd have this kind of reaction only if I still had feelings for the ex, or if I really hated the ex.

 

Do you think she could still have feelings for him?

 

I also think that in such a case whether your friend's point is right or not is irrelevant. In this kind of situation, her reaction (not wanting to talk to you as long as you are with this guy) is determined by her feelings, not by logic.

[shamen]

I don't know... It's part of my girlfriends' code: don't date anyone that we've ever dated. Don't have sex with anyone we've ever had sex with.

 

May be dumb, but I know that it avoided arguments. Just MHO.

[pretty_petal]

If one of my friends went out with my current bf in a couple of years time i would be really upset... regardless of whether i had feelings for him or not, cos we've been together ages now and have had many special times together. So i guess i would be jealous a friend would have what i had once.

 

BUT... she wasn't with him that long... so i don't really understand her acting like she is... does your bf know about it?

[faux]

A very general rule that I have always known is that it is not wise to date ones friends' exes, no matter how much time has passed. If you think about it, it is very wise to ask permission before hand, and to respect the resulting answer to such a question. One has a right to date a friend's ex, but one has to choose friendship or relationship in most cases.

 

I introduced a good friend of mine to an ex of mine from a few years ago. He was nice enough to ask my permission, and I told him it was fine. They are doing quite well together and it is actually quite fun hanging out with them. I never feel like a third wheel, and I'm happy for them both Sometimes it is fine, but I do not think it is very mature of your friend to break off all contact with you in this situation.

[Impressive1]

You should think how you would feel if she did that to you. Friends are and stay Friends for a reason. TRUST... I would be very hurt, and wonder how good of a friend you really were not to take my feelings in consideration. HANDS OFF ex's lol

[Impressive1]

Not together that long? How long does it actually take to lose respect for someone??

[CurlyIam]

I think it depends... But the older we get, the more our past relationships had some special meaning. Even if you were together for a few months...

 

IMO there are 2 kinds of exes:Big ones and ordinary ones. A girl's pride is to be hurt regardless of the category your current bf belongs to.

 

 

Be grateful she didn't say she won't speak to you ever again. It depends on her, on him, on the relationship they had... The amount of passed time may prove to be irrelevant. It's about feelings, like Pyra said, nothing to do with logic.

 

 

So why don't you tell us how it happened, was it something non of you predicted or... how was it? And when did you tell your friend and how did you do it?