tigressA Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I've heard from more than one guy I've dated how 'hot' they thought it would be if I fell pregnant by them. I think it's amusing mostly because I don't ever want to have kids and here they were talking about wanting to knock me up. LSers, what say you about this? I got the sense that--partially, at least--it came from a possessive standpoint. Like 'marking territory'. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Depends on when they say it. If it's right out the gate, it's a comfort ploy, designed to make the girl believe there's a "future". Or he's a bit freaky and you should wonder about his sanity. Or it's a guy who's curious to see how you feel about children. If it's a guy you're in a serious relationship with, it probably does have aspects of marking but it's also a guy who probably sees a future with you. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 This thread reminded me that this song exists and isn't actually a joke at all. For this, I thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 The pleasure of sex and male/female (hetero) attraction is nature's way of impelling reproduction. Otherwise, why would people reproduce? Think about that. Men are the prosecutors of the act. They approach. They desire. They penetrate. It's nature's way. The words reflect the basic drive. That's about it. Yeah, it can reflect possession, territory, and all those typical male things. Also, protection, love, support, etc. Life is a mixed bag. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I would take it as just that - a casual, offhanded, slightly possessive remark, perhaps made to have you think that they 'intend a future with you'. IME, when a LT couple genuinely discusses children, they don't talk about 'how hot it would be to knock you up'. 'Hot' usually does not even enter the equation. Link to post Share on other sites
EasyHeart Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 It sounds pretty odd to me. I've spent my entire life avoiding getting anyone pregnant. If it bothers you, you could come back with something like, "Oh yeah, then I'll get 25% of your income! That's so hot, baby!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 That is perhaps the oddest thing I've ever heard. I mean, I've spoken with men I was serious with about having children before, because . . . if we'd lasted, we might have had children. *shrugs* But random guys saying you're so 'hot' that they'd want to 'knock you up.' That was never a line I was subjected to, thank goodness, as it'd creep me out heartily. And, yes, sounds territorial and objectifying to me. "You'd be a hot vessel for my babies!" Yowza. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I think they are only really thinking about creampie. Nothing else really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Expressing their desire to; "knock someone up" & using those words speaks volumes in itself. run little girl, run far & fast & never look back:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
SCandy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Maybe they meant they want to knock you out, for being so self centered and self absorbed. Let me try....girls all the time tell me that I am cute...why they do this? please discuss! Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 IME, when a LT couple genuinely discusses children, they don't talk about 'how hot it would be to knock you up'. 'Hot' usually does not even enter the equation. Well.......... Some guys really do find pregnancy erotic. There can be an anticipation of "hot", even in genuine family planning. I also agree with what Prof X so eloquently described above--esp if you are using condoms for bc. Also, there is a connection in baby-making sex that was very hot for us. Intentionally making a baby together was a higher level of intimacy, and exciting. It's an ultimate form of connection in many ways. All the walls are down. You've opened your body to him completely. (H just whispered to me last month how hot it would be to get me pg again ) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SCandy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (H just whispered to me last month how hot it would be to get me pg again ) And what did you whispered back to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 How on Earth could anyone find getting someone pregnant to be 'hot'? Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) btw, Maybe you should change your profile of the type of men your dating. I don't believe that is that common of a statement for a date to make & if it's happening that often the common denominator seems to be... well, you. So do you get up & slap their face or give them a look of disgust or do you giggle & smile twirl your hair? I'm just trying to get a sense of why this is happening to you "from more than one guy you've dated". I'm sure your sexy & gorgeous & all but still. It's not that common of a statement to make on a date or even in a STR. If it's acceptable; run with it, if not figure out why it's happening. Edited March 2, 2012 by oldguy Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 btw, Maybe you should change your profile of the type of men your dating. I don't believe that is that common of a statement for a date to make & if it's happening that often the common denominator seems to be... well, you. So do you get up & slap their face or give them a look of disgust or do you giggle & smile twirl your hair? I'm just trying to get a sense of why this is happening to you "from more than one guy you've dated". I'm sure your sexy & gorgeous & all but still. It's not that common of a statement to make on a date or even in a STR. If it's acceptable; run with t, if not figure out why it's happening. Is it really so odd? I see it as the counterpart of women feeling very in love saying "I want to have your babies!" Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Well.......... Some guys really do find pregnancy erotic. There can be an anticipation of "hot", even in genuine family planning. I also agree with what Prof X so eloquently described above--esp if you are using condoms for bc. Also, there is a connection in baby-making sex that was very hot for us. Intentionally making a baby together was a higher level of intimacy, and exciting. It's an ultimate form of connection in many ways. All the walls are down. You've opened your body to him completely. (H just whispered to me last month how hot it would be to get me pg again ) I can totally understand how for a mature LT couple that has seriously discussed having children before or had children before, that could be the case. In TA's case though, I think it's young men who have never been fathers before and whom she is not in a LTR with (just dating), who said that. Thus, seems more like an offhand comment to me with little actual thought put into pregnancy and the concept of having children in itself. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 If this is happening in LTR or more committed ones than ignore my previous posts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 It was in more LT or otherwise 'committed' relationships, not casual ones. I would be REALLY creeped out if it was coming from a guy I had been dating casually! Sorry to not have made that clear in the OP. And 'knock you up' was my choice of phrasing for this thread, not theirs when they made their comments. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 It was in more LT or otherwise 'committed' relationships, not casual ones. I would be REALLY creeped out if it was coming from a guy I had been dating casually! Sorry to not have made that clear in the OP. And 'knock you up' was my choice of phrasing for this thread, not theirs when they made their comments. But surely the 'kids' discussion has never come up seriously with these men before? Especially since you don't want kids, and they would have known that if it had. Link to post Share on other sites
aj22one Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I don't want kids so I'd never want to get some chick pregnant. Weird. Link to post Share on other sites
zengirl Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 It was in more LT or otherwise 'committed' relationships, not casual ones. I would be REALLY creeped out if it was coming from a guy I had been dating casually! Sorry to not have made that clear in the OP. And 'knock you up' was my choice of phrasing for this thread, not theirs when they made their comments. Oh, okay, that's a whole different ball of wax. IME, guys who really want kids generally think they'd find it sexy and wonderful and amazing for you to have their babies if they're in love with you. I dated a few of those. They never said it the way you described, but certainly the last ex before hubby fantasized about us having kids together. He was kid-crazy, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 But surely the 'kids' discussion has never come up seriously with these men before? Especially since you don't want kids, and they would have known that if it had. Oh it has, and that was when I told them I didn't want kids. I always reiterated that. Whenever they made their comments I said something to the extent of, "Well, keep dreaming; it's not ever going to happen!" I'm not saying I never thought in pleasant terms of what it would be like to have a SO's babies. I have, when feeling very intimate with them. And I suppose the guys were coming from the same place. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Oh, so they knew from a previous discussion that you don't want kids, but still said that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 Oh, so they knew from a previous discussion that you don't want kids, but still said that? Yep. (10 chars) Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I'm not saying I never thought in pleasant terms of what it would be like to have a SO's babies. I have, when feeling very intimate with them. And I suppose the guys were coming from the same place. That's probably all there is to it. When H brought it up last month (in a hot and heavy moment), I figured it was just a momentary urge. I didn't think he actually wanted me to get pg again. Nevertheless, I brought it up later to check in. Is he having thoughts about another baby? (we have both been very clear that we don't want any more). He laughed, no, it was just the moment Talk to him in a neutral time, and ask him if it means anything significant. Link to post Share on other sites
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