zengirl Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Oh it has, and that was when I told them I didn't want kids. I always reiterated that. Whenever they made their comments I said something to the extent of, "Well, keep dreaming; it's not ever going to happen!" I'm not saying I never thought in pleasant terms of what it would be like to have a SO's babies. I have, when feeling very intimate with them. And I suppose the guys were coming from the same place. At your age, I'd be worried that such men really didn't believe you truly knew you didn't want kids. But that's just my personal experience talking. A lot of men who want kids won't take it seriously when a young woman says she doesn't. I've seen marriages end over that, when the woman didn't change her mind like the man expected. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tigressA Posted March 2, 2012 Author Share Posted March 2, 2012 That's probably all there is to it. When H brought it up last month (in a hot and heavy moment), I figured it was just a momentary urge. I didn't think he actually wanted me to get pg again. Nevertheless, I brought it up later to check in. Is he having thoughts about another baby? (we have both been very clear that we don't want any more). He laughed, no, it was just the moment Talk to him in a neutral time, and ask him if it means anything significant. Eh, I knew it didn't mean anything really significant. I was merely relating past experiences...seeing if anyone else could identify. I agreed with your earlier post about the 'walls being down', being completely open. And I know those urges can be incredibly irrational, evidenced by my intense thoughts of having my one ex's babies even though our relationship was not good at all. I was just really attracted to him. :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ask them what they'd do if they had $250,000? Let them jabber on, then say, "That is the cost of raising one child to the age of 18. I personally would rather have the money and keep my figure." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
USCGAviator Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Being a divorced father with a vasectomy I find it very erotic to fantasize about knocking up a girl while were having sex. In reality tho I'm done having children. Maybe its some primal instinct or that I find pregnant women attractive. Either way its a fantasy of mine that makes me climax harder. Perhaps this could be what TA is speaking of. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ursa Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 My experience with my H is similar to that of xxoo--he found me more beautiful, more desirable when I was pregnant with our son, and he finds the thought of impregnating me erotic. I think there are elements of protectiveness and pride mixed up in his feelings on the subject, as well. He takes pride in being a good family man. Recently we've been talking about having another baby, and he's emotionally very pro, although we're planning to wait another year for practical reasons. It will definitely be our last, if we do, although a little part of him would like more if only they didn't come with such huge price tags attached, and so much physical labor involved . I had one other serious boyfriend who brought up babies several times, but I wasn't ready for them at the time. When I was in my early 20s I also had a friend who became my employer and then crossed a weird line by offering to pay me to have a baby with him. He already had a child not much younger than I was at the time, and I felt a definite ick factor though he swore it wasn't sexual and he only wanted to use medical methods. I ended up moving away shortly after, not because of that directly, but that was why I didn't try to hang on to any kind of friendly acquaintance with him after I was gone. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I've heard from more than one guy I've dated how 'hot' they thought it would be if I fell pregnant by them. I think it's amusing mostly because I don't ever want to have kids and here they were talking about wanting to knock me up. LSers, what say you about this? I got the sense that--partially, at least--it came from a possessive standpoint. Like 'marking territory'. Or they say something like "our kids would be beautiful". Ugh, I'm with you. I don't want children. It could be a possessive, territorial thing or it could just be one of their ways to try to woo you. Hahahahahahaha it sounds ridiculous, but some men think that would turn us on. It makes my ovaries wilt whenever I hear something like that because I don't want kids. No way, no how. It may work on other women though. The women who want to procreate. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 I've never thought or said that. I just want to knock the bottom out of her ass. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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