digger Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 does staying away (no contact) make the anger go away? or does it make em forget you and how ez it might be without you? experiences anyone? Link to post Share on other sites
edweirdo Posted June 7, 2004 Share Posted June 7, 2004 I don't think that staying away makes the anger go away but more like you can accept things better. Being around the person reminds you of all the things that are upsetting you. If you accept the situation then your anger may diminish or go away (eventually). How they are effected is how they are effected. That is to say that your absense will not change the way in which they feel. If the person is going to "forget" you and move on that is what they are going to do. If they are going to reflect on you and miss you, then that is what they are going to do. If you stay in their face they won't have a chance to reflect on you and they may grow to dislike you. This would have the opposite effect you were looking for (I presume). Hope that made some sense. Now, if only I could take my own advice I'd be all set. Link to post Share on other sites
TempSain Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 Originally posted by edweirdo I don't think that staying away makes the anger go away but more like you can accept things better. Being around the person reminds you of all the things that are upsetting you. If you accept the situation then your anger may diminish or go away (eventually). How they are effected is how they are effected. That is to say that your absense will not change the way in which they feel. If the person is going to "forget" you and move on that is what they are going to do. If they are going to reflect on you and miss you, then that is what they are going to do. If you stay in their face they won't have a chance to reflect on you and they may grow to dislike you. This would have the opposite effect you were looking for (I presume). Hope that made some sense. Now, if only I could take my own advice I'd be all set. Ha ha, I actually know of an individual that stalked a girl for 7 years, she told hiim no several times and he still pursued her. In the end, he got her. They are married and have a child together. We often say "Seven years of stalking finally worked". :-) In all seriousness, I think it has to be mutual. Even they have problems. Last I heard, she was playing around on him. Link to post Share on other sites
hope&pray Posted June 8, 2004 Share Posted June 8, 2004 I think, yes the anger goes away in that the person causing the anger isn't there with you anymore. If they really want you or have any feelings left for you then staying away is suppose to peak their intrest in you and in the end they are suppose to chase and persue you instead of the other way around. A lot of reverse psychology and also if you distance yourself and start thinking of yourself and trying to make yourself better, the easier it is if the whole thing does end. Link to post Share on other sites
hurting Posted June 14, 2004 Share Posted June 14, 2004 My husband and I got married last summer in may then I left him in July of the same summer. Quite a few people told me he was cheating as well they showed me pic of him with other women. I also was told he hired many escorts. I didn't understand since we had a very very active sex life. Until I seen on our computer that he really inquired about escorts. I couldn't take it and I asked him several times if he was cheating if there were other women and he got so mad and started yellin and I started yelling. The more he yelled the more I began to believe what everyone was saying. He then packed a bag and walked out on me. I didnt hear from him for almost two weeks. So obivously my mind wondered. He went out partying and had a great 4th of july. I was home crying my eyes out wondering why if he didnt' cheat wouldnt he try to console me and reassure me. Was it because there was really somone else? He filed for divorce the in july of that same summer. I moved out and cried for two months. I couldnt work and lost my job. That caused the car payments to be late and my fault it was in his name. I only wanted my husband and my family but when i would call him he was so mean and cruel saying i ruined his life. I did call his parent to tell them he may have a drug issue and to please watch out for him. (I was also told he was doing drugs along with all his cheating) He said I ruined his life. He didn't stop to think of how me and my son felt. I really made me wonder how if he really loved me how come he could just go quickly file for divorce. OF course the wonderful conclusion he made was that I am a mental case. rather than worry about my marriage. He seems to tell me I need all kinds of mental help. He really made me feel like i was really screwed up. I went to counseling and I got on meds and of course he uses that as me being PSYCO his favorite words till this day. O I ment to say that he and i got back to together in Jan. and its been rough. I had left once again when a female kept calling the house and hanging up when I answered so I asked him who she was. I asked him to call her tell her she has the wrong number if he really didnt' know who it was. He got so angry and broke the phones in the house and put a whole in the wall. He again threw me out. How can he not see but him acting like that makes me think he is hiding what has happened if anything. He makes himself look so guilty with the anger and mean sefl defense. I have never told him not to hang out with friends. I have been back home since feb and its been up and down. I cannot help but feel there is someone else. He is so preoccupied. He gets really really mad and yells and really puts me down then i do the same. It sucks. He dont understand I am so insecure. I tell him i love him all the time. I fell i have to beg for attention then he acts put out. HOW IF HE SAYS HE LOVES ME CAN HE LET ME HURT. He gets mad when I cry. All I want to know if there is someone else. Why do i have trust issues? I want to stop hurting! Link to post Share on other sites
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