Re: Looking for attention

[Lina]

I'm married and have a loving husband,we've been together for about 13years & I'm 30yrs old who works super hard and is finishing his bacholor's degree and spends time with me. I'm not sure what my problem is but it seems as though I am always seeking attention. We kind of joke about it but I'm wondering why I seem to need people to pay so much attention to me, especially the opposite sex. At work it seems as though I'm always socializing with female as well as male co-workers but much rather the attention I get from my male friends. So I guess I'm just wondering if this is a normal feeling or if I'm headed for a disaster....Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated...Just another note our sex life is great and I really feel my husband loves me a lot and I him but it worries me when I'm out there, and you could actually call it, flirting with other guys....

[Tony T]

There are just some people out there whose psychological make-up requires they get a great deal of attention. You are probably one of them so you may be normal in that respect. While there's nothing really bad about it, it can send out false messages to the opposite sex and can also get people talking about you behind your back.

 

The fact that it worries you "when you are out there...flirting with other guys" indicates that this whole behavior is automatic and out of your control. This is a dangerous situation and could indicate some abnormality in the brain, since normal people are in control of their behavior. See a neurologist to start with and/or a psychiatrist.

 

If you were normal, you would feel uneasy flirting with other guys because of the veil of betrayal of your loving husband and you would have no worries whatsoever about giving in to anything, because you would be very confident about your ability to withstand that temptation.

 

Get help for this condition as soon as possible. Stay away from the guys until you get a handle on what is causing you to feel you have no control of your behavior. Well, I guess if you have no control, you couldn't stay away from the guys either...you have really got a problem. Get help!!!

[lina]

I guess I might have blown this out of proportion according to your response. I have control of my actions and I would never do anything to jeopordize my marriage. This is probably why I don't feel guilty talking or goofing around with other guys. I am a very outgoing person & I enjoy that. I love to talk and tell jokes and just have a good time & I think that maybe some guys might see it as flirting although I am very upfront with the fact that I am an outgoing person. I guess my question is why do some people need so much attention is it something that was lacking in their childhood or their own personality. I think my outgoing nature goes along with my need for constant attention. On the flip side, I do enjoy quiet times also but I would much rather be on the move. Hopefully this will clarify my question.

There are just some people out there whose psychological make-up requires they get a great deal of attention. You are probably one of them so you may be normal in that respect. While there's nothing really bad about it, it can send out false messages to the opposite sex and can also get people talking about you behind your back. The fact that it worries you "when you are out there...flirting with other guys" indicates that this whole behavior is automatic and out of your control. This is a dangerous situation and could indicate some abnormality in the brain, since normal people are in control of their behavior. See a neurologist to start with and/or a psychiatrist.

 

If you were normal, you would feel uneasy flirting with other guys because of the veil of betrayal of your loving husband and you would have no worries whatsoever about giving in to anything, because you would be very confident about your ability to withstand that temptation.

 

Get help for this condition as soon as possible. Stay away from the guys until you get a handle on what is causing you to feel you have no control of your behavior. Well, I guess if you have no control, you couldn't stay away from the guys either...you have really got a problem. Get help!!!

 

[Tony T]

Your second post puts things in a completely, totally different perspective than your first so my diagnosis becomes very different.

 

I really see no attention getting maneuvers in your behavior. You are naturally extroverted. This is part of your personality. It has nothing to do with anything except that is the way you are. There are shy people, there are reclusive people, introverted, reserved, etc. and there are open, bubbly, extroverted people. Those styles are called personalities and nothing needs to be read into that.

 

You are an extrovert, naturally so, and consquently people will be drawn to you.

 

So if you can keep from acting on impulse if guys respond to your seeming flirtations, or they misinterpret your outgoing personality for an interest in them, just go about your business and don't worry about changing.

 

Frankly, I don't see a problem here are all. If there is one, it's with these egomaniacs that think you're coming on to them...and NOT with you. You are just being your natural, outgoing self and that's great. You've just got to learn to set them straight real fast when you sense they have gotten the wrong message because you are outgoing around them.

 

See how putting things a little differently changes the whole picture. Read your first post carefully, then your second. They are entirely different AND I AM SO HAPPY THEY ARE!!!