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why, why, why? Mixed signals with a FWB. again.


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I'm not sure where to start and I'm not sure if this the correct forum, but since it pertains to my FWB...I hope someone can help.

 

I met a younger guy. We hung out for about a week b4 we hooked up. It was a weird situation. He is 15 years younger than I am. I was also his professor before we went out. I thought it was weird that he asked me out. We waited until after he completed the course. Anyway, we hit it off and he ended up staying all weekend. We both kinda talked about not wanting to date anyone right now.

 

Over the past few months, he's been a bit of an enigma/ sending mixed signals. He says things like "well, maybe I wanted something, but you said you didn't" and "why- because you love and miss me?".

 

Since we weren't "dating" he was honest with me about talking to other people. I didn't /dont love it, but it's not like he's doing anythin wrong. So, I started online dating. Anyway, that seemed to light a fire under his but, but now he's talking to ANOTHER person...who he says is a fam longtime friend, and she is the only person he'd ever think about dating right now...IF he were going to date anyone. Ok, fine. Again, I don't love it, but I agreed that I didn't want anything. We call each other "friend" anyway.

 

So, the othEr night, he was on the phone when I got there. No big deal. Gets off the phone. Then a few minutes later,

He makes up a story about why his tone was what it was on the phone, and that it was his sister. Cell phones are loud. It wasn't his sister.

I know about the other woman.

 

Question #1: Why did he make such a big deal about it being his sister? Especially since we're "just friends". Why lie?

 

Question #2: do any of you have "forbidden love" problems? I think he (along with many of us, including me) are "chase whores" The girl is his sister's best friend. I was his teacher. Another ex is his ex wife's best friend. I was his professor. Just wondering if anyone has an opinion.

 

I pretty much knew we could never be anything. I know we are like once in a lifetime bff's who love each other and have amazing sex. He is a great guy anf helped me out with a lot of "house" things I couldn't do alone. He is considerat and fabulous, so I don't think he's a bad friend. I just wanna know what you think about the other things. Thank you.

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Yeah, I'll play the jealous game and pretend I have more options than I really do, but then again, I'm not 19 anymore and it's immature behaviour playing games.

 

Let him do what he wants since he is after all, a tail for you to tag from time to time. If you're not serious do not let him get to you. The worst thing that can happen is for him to mind-f-k you.

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Yeah, I'll play the jealous game and pretend I have more options than I really do, but then again, I'm not 19 anymore and it's immature behaviour playing games.

 

Let him do what he wants since he is after all, a tail for you to tag from time to time. If you're not serious do not let him get to you. The worst thing that can happen is for him to mind-f-k you.

 

Hi. Thx for the response. Wellllllll...he's actually 22- so I guess I should take that as a sign that you used 19...since he's not too far from that. I think maybe the last girl was pretending, but this one- I could tell he's interested. I've been the same way, though. I was all about this kid I was dating in secret (bc he was best friend w/ my roomate). The minute our relationship was about to exposed, I ran.

 

What do you think about lying saying he was talking to his sister?

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What do you think about lying saying he was talking to his sister?

 

You could tell he wasn't talking to his sister just by hearing a voice on the tiny speaker of his cellphone?

 

If he was lying about that, maybe he felt guilty because he was talking to another woman in your presence. I mean, it is kind of sleazy to be on the phone with one woman you're pursuing in the presence of another you're already boning.

 

That doesn't mean anything. Nothing you mentioned makes it seem like he wants anything more with you. Actually, some of what he said makes it clear that he doesn't want anything more if you read it from a jaded outsider's perspective.

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You could tell he wasn't talking to his sister just by hearing a voice on the tiny speaker of his cellphone?

 

If he was lying about that, maybe he felt guilty because he was talking to another woman in your presence. I mean, it is kind of sleazy to be on the phone with one woman you're pursuing in the presence of another you're already boning.

 

That doesn't mean anything. Nothing you mentioned makes it seem like he wants anything more with you. Actually, some of what he said makes it clear that he doesn't want anything more if you read it from a jaded outsider's perspective.

 

Hi CC12- yeah, actually. When ppl have their volume up high, haven't you ever heard a cell conversation, even from across a room ? Haha. Well, it didn't sound like the sister I know. Doesn't really matter. I just wouldn't lie about another guy to a friend. But that's just me.

 

I am jaded, too. Trust me. But, I wasn't questioning if he wants more- just questioning why people do certain things/ behave certain ways. Thanks - I love all input. I just think too much sometimes :)

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I think he lied because he didnt want you to bolt.

 

Hey Boo Radley- bolt that day? Or bolt as in no more FWB? I didn't even think twice about him being on the phone with anyone until he decided he needed to explain it. :)

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