awya Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 My girlfriend and I met when I was 16 in my Junior year of highschool. She was a foreign exchange student from The Netherlands. We hit it off right away and have been deeply in love ever since. I am 19 now and she is 20 and for the last 2 years, we've been long distance. Her in The Netherlands and me in the USA. We've spent most of all our time working for each other so we can visit every 6 months during her breaks at school. I took a year off of school to work as a manager at a shoe store to save up for a 6 month trip here in Amsterdam with her. Unfortunately, the trip got cut short due to a rule that you must be 21 years of age to obtain an extended visa after 3 months. Before recently, the plan was for her to finish college and emigrate to the US. Now, she fears that is not an option because she is an only child and feels she would be abandoning her parents and does not want them to grow old with no one to take care of them. (they are 50 and 55). She wants us to look at the situation fairly, and consider me moving to The Netherlands. This is where it got more complicated.. I've never considered moving from the US. I would have to learn the Dutch language as well, considering I only speak English. I was planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me during my stay here, and I go back home in 3 weeks. I just don't know what the right thing is to do anymore. I love her, and I want to spend my life with her. But is it best for us to stay long distance for 4 more years and I eventually move to The Netherlands? So much can happen in 4 years, and on top of going to school and working to save up money to visit each other, just feels like so much. Any advise would be appreciated. I didn't know where else to go to about this.. Link to post Share on other sites
blugirl Posted March 3, 2012 Share Posted March 3, 2012 (edited) To me, such an argument like 'fearing for parents and wanting to stay by their side' is not valid, unless the parents are handicapped. It's not like they're dying or something. Both of my cousins moved abroad and I'm gonna move as well cause it's my life and I want to move, my parents will surely be ok without me. So if she prefers to be tied down to her parents all her life instead of making her own choices, then oh well. But to be honest, I have the same problem. My LD bf wants me to move over his side while I don't want to - I want to live abroad but not in his country. I don't know how it will end cause I'm not likely to change my mind. My friend, also in LDR, has the similar situation but as for now she has to finish her studies so they don't think about it yet. Edited March 3, 2012 by blugirl Link to post Share on other sites
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