Can't sleep, mind is wandering..

[nick d]

I hate this so bad.. The only way I have been able to get any sleep this last month is by taking sleeping pills. I just miss my ex so much! I miss being able to hold her at night

Is anyone else up because they can't sleep because they are thinking of they're ex?

[Nodezz]

I sleep crying each night thinking about him I have his jumper so I always put around me and I smell it it has his smell then I start crying remembering how he used to hug me and play with my hair when I am feeling down I really miss him

[mike588]

I hate this so bad.. The only way I have been able to get any sleep this last month is by taking sleeping pills. I just miss my ex so much! I miss being able to hold her at night

Is anyone else up because they can't sleep because they are thinking of they're ex?

 

Well I'm not up or couldn't sleep because I was thinking of her but I've been there and done that!!!!

 

It's normal and ok to feel that way and experience that...it's part of the healing process.

 

Grieve all you need to...cry your eyes out....yell,scream..get it out of your system!!!

 

We've all been there. I know it SUCKS!!! but it will and does get better that I promise you!!!

[Numb79]

Indeed we have all been there. To be honest, I have no trouble falling asleep. Its actually staying asleep that bothers me the most. I find myself waking up at the crack of dawn every morning no matter what time I went to bed the night before. I know how frustrating this could be. Its as if I wake up in panic mode or something along those lines. I desperately reach out to anyone who would listen to me at 3 or 4 in the morning and it really sucks. Eventually, I just lay there and talk to myself before I fall back asleep..... but I usually still wake up very early. Its a very vicious cycle and I know you just want it to end.

We all need to just face this head on.... there is no point in running from it or pretending that we don't feel this way. I just want you to know that the pain is REAL!! I can't stand those who tell you.... "get over it and move on" as if what you're feeling isn't real!!

It has been 5 weeks of NC for me and I am still struggling, so I can only imagine what you are going through at this moment. Or perhaps I am going through what you are going through. I did everything possible at the beginning to avoid facing it.... removing triggers, sent our her personal belongings, avoided coming home.... etc. etc. But since then, I have broke my foot and now I am forced to face it head on! We need to face these emotions head on!! It is the only way to get through this. If we don't ever face this.... it will end up catching up to us later down the line. Just keep telling yourself that this is normal.... you will make it through this... this time will pass.... etc. etc. In the end.... WE WILL SURVIVE!!

[CaliBabe]

I did the same thing. It's totally normal and it will get better. Just feel the pain, cry, and heal. It will get better!

[jassib]

mike i dont know what to tell you but when i read yr words i feel confident you are great

 

for the post i am at NC now for month and 20 days and i feel that i started to heal but some times i got fragile and tears start to drop when i remember her her eyes her look to me her sweet voice any way i am on tears right now during writing this but when i see mike's words i feel good i dont know why but i feel like they do something good to me i still have hope to get her back there is always hope and ways to try and that's why i get to the forum coz i read that one of the steps of healing is to share yr suffer with others that have the same suffer i think i am at the healing process i am not 100% yet but i will be and waiting is so hard but NC is not bad at all just have hope why ?? coz they are humans have feelings like us we dont know what they are doing they might facing bad days IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME when she know that she lost something precious

at my story that i have posted right here 10 min earlier i saw mike posts at the 2nd break and after we back she told me i felt that i lost something big in my life that was me see they are humans the have feelings they just dont break up cold and go no it does not work like that.

[mike588]

mike i dont know what to tell you but when i read yr words i feel confident you are great

 

for the post i am at NC now for month and 20 days and i feel that i started to heal but some times i got fragile and tears start to drop when i remember her her eyes her look to me her sweet voice any way i am on tears right now during writing this but when i see mike's words i feel good i dont know why but i feel like they do something good to me i still have hope to get her back there is always hope and ways to try and that's why i get to the forum coz i read that one of the steps of healing is to share yr suffer with others that have the same suffer i think i am at the healing process i am not 100% yet but i will be and waiting is so hard but NC is not bad at all just have hope why ?? coz they are humans have feelings like us we dont know what they are doing they might facing bad days IT IS JUST A MATTER OF TIME when she know that she lost something precious

at my story that i have posted right here 10 min earlier i saw mike posts at the 2nd break and after we back she told me i felt that i lost something big in my life that was me see they are humans the have feelings they just dont break up cold and go no it does not work like that.

 

Well it took almost 7 months to feel great again until she started contacting me last month and it set me back a step but am putting that behind me too....Her contacting was something I really didn't expect!

 

You will have setbacks like myself and others here....you'll start to feel better....start moving on then something will happen that reminds you of her and then your knocked back a step...it's ok...it's normal...expect it!!

 

It's going to take time...sometimes lots of time to be COMPLETELY 100% over her.

 

If you want her back PLEASE don't break N.C....it's not a trick or a way to get her back...it's for you to heal and move on. It worked for me and am so glad I followed it!!!

 

The good side to N.C. is that it may....it may make her miss you...wonder about you and become curious about you...if your dating someone etc.

 

Take it from me I know it's tough...just hang in there...take it day by day and focus on yourself now...your #1!

[nick d]

Mike, you have some good words. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? And how long was the relationship with your ex?

[mike588]

Mike, you have some good words. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? And how long was the relationship with your ex?

 

Oh man I'm an old dude who should have know better! I'm 42.. we were friends about 15 years ago before reconnecting.

 

We dated for a year

 

She dumped me for her ex. b/f

Edited March 4, 2012 by mike588

[nick d]

Question for you Mike,

Even though I practically begged for her back for a month. And she told me she doesn't love me anymore and she's out dating already. Is there still any hope that someday she will come crawling back?

[mike588]

Question for you Mike,

Even though I practically begged for her back for a month. And she told me she doesn't love me anymore and she's out dating already. Is there still any hope that someday she will come crawling back?

 

Well if she does come crawling back it's gonna take longer now because you begged her to come back.

 

Sorry to say but you came across to her as weak...pathetic and needy which is a HUGE TURNOFF!!

 

It's ok though alot of us here have done that! Right now she knows you'll jump at the chance to get back together...that she's got you on a string like a puppet.

 

My advise and I'm sure others will agree is to just disappear...don't contact her and if she contacts you wait....I mean WAIT a few days if not longer to respond...better yet don't respond.

 

This will make her think.....Damn what's up with him....I was expecting a response minutes/hours after I contacted him.....has he moved on?...is he seeing someone else?...what's going on? He may not love/care for me anymore? Why is he rejecting me??

 

I have been EXACTLY where you are now and I know it SUCKS!! I fought the urge to contact her and just disappeared....tryed my best to move on then out of the blue...completely unexpected she contacts me.

 

There is no guarantee that this will happen to you but you really don't have much choice..

 

You can keep begging and pleading...contacting her and keep looking like a fool which will push her further away or do the opposite.....disappear.

 

The choice is yours....I'd disappear and try to move on the best you can.

[flyguy23]

I fall asleep fine but have trouble sleeping through the night. My mind wanders and thinks of her daily at around 3 or 4 am. Then I can't get back to sleep. She is on my mind all day long. I wish I could control my brain to make it stop thinking of her. This is a really hard time for me.

[nick d]

Ya I guess you are right. Contacting her wont do any good. I'm just going through the stage now where I'm scared I'll never find anyone again :/

[nick d]

I fall asleep fine but have trouble sleeping through the night. My mind wanders and thinks of her daily at around 3 or 4 am. Then I can't get back to sleep. She is on my mind all day long. I wish I could control my brain to make it stop thinking of her. This is a really hard time for me.

 

I'm sorry bro! How long have you been broken up? And are you on NC now?

[mike588]

Ya I guess you are right. Contacting her wont do any good. I'm just going through the stage now where I'm scared I'll never find anyone again :/

 

Hey we ALL and I mean ALL feel/felt that way!! I don't know how old you are but I'm guessing your still young.

 

So MANY peope here say....She/He was my soul mate...I'll NEVER find anyone else like that...we had something so special...and so on.

 

Believe me you WILL!! find someone else.This is a learning..a growing experience for you..we all have to go thru this at one time in our life...the pain will make you stronger please believe that! It's so true.

 

I promise you one day you WILL look back on this and say...what the hell was I thinking.

 

Again I and soooooo many others have been in your shoes and we know what your going thru.

 

It's not easy..it's not supposed to be...you don't learn/grow without going thru painful experiences.

 

Please.. Please DO NOT continue to contact her.....she knows how you feel...you DONT need to keep reminding her!!!!! and keep pushing her further and further away!!!

 

After some more time you will slowly start to detatch from her...it's a matter of re-adjusting your life and as the weeks turn to months you may not even want her back.....Oh no your thinking...I must be crazy...that will never happen.....give it time you'll see.

 

It's going to be a tough road ahead for you as it is/was for all of us..your not alone and you WILL get thru this.... You will!!!!!!!!!

 

Life doesn't end after her...it begins!

[flyguy23]

I'm sorry bro! How long have you been broken up? And are you on NC now?

 

Been broken up for 6 months, but never stuck with NC. On Christmas she contacted me and said she wanted to be with me, we started hanging out more and talking daily, but she always had a wall up. Then in the beginning of February she said things don't feel the same, that we won't work and stopped talking to me. I have been NC for about 20 days. We dated for 5 years.

[jassib]

Well it took almost 7 months to feel great again until she started contacting me last month and it set me back a step but am putting that behind me too....Her contacting was something I really didn't expect!

 

You will have setbacks like myself and others here....you'll start to feel better....start moving on then something will happen that reminds you of her and then your knocked back a step...it's ok...it's normal...expect it!!

 

It's going to take time...sometimes lots of time to be COMPLETELY 100% over her.

 

If you want her back PLEASE don't break N.C....it's not a trick or a way to get her back...it's for you to heal and move on. It worked for me and am so glad I followed it!!!

 

The good side to N.C. is that it may....it may make her miss you...wonder about you and become curious about you...if your dating someone etc.

 

Take it from me I know it's tough...just hang in there...take it day by day and focus on yourself now...your #1!

 

i am so happy that i am here with you guys OK mike i will not break NC i feel good about that i will not break NC ever and i will wait i can handle i cried and been sad i am passing in the heal process

i like yr words and others here are so kind too they have nice words as well please mike read my story thnx so so much i need yr support mike and other guys here i need yr support guys

Edited March 4, 2012 by jassib

[jassib]

Been broken up for 6 months, but never stuck with NC. On Christmas she contacted me and said she wanted to be with me, we started hanging out more and talking daily, but she always had a wall up. Then in the beginning of February she said things don't feel the same, that we won't work and stopped talking to me. I have been NC for about 20 days. We dated for 5 years.

 

OMG like i am seeing my story i am sorry for you flyguy the same happens to me she broke up with in November 20 days i break NC sent sms in Christmas we are back for 10 days and every thing seemed to be fine back to sweet words from her every thing again then one day 14/1/2012 break up from her with unexpected behavior but thnx god i did not beg here i just took her sms and i sent back couple that's the only wrong thing i did couple of sms's telling her what is going on she sent back telling we are not compatible with each other i do not feel any thing towards you can you believe that 10 or 13 days and again she was always telling me that she is lost she does not know what she wants i bet she did that coz she got a job there where she is now in a country called Oman with her mom and that was my 3rd break with her the earlier 2 breaks before from here the 1st one she contacted me after she had been in a relation with other guy engaged to him and found that he is a mess then the 2nd one 4 months after our engagement and i went in NC 3 months then break the NC and sent sms to her mom in the mother's day greeting her mom,

 

i did that to break the NC i was pushing my luck

and guess what 3 min and she is calling with lot of happy feelings inside her

 

her voice told me that, and now i am sticking with NC even though i don't know what is going to happen but i feel ok with NC i will try to make the change i am just waiting for an event to happen to me to get a good job coz that was one of her arguments with me

 

then start to fix all what i've done before and deliver it to her by some way i dont know how but will be figured out

 

i read that you have to get changed the NC will work fine very fine if you changed something in yr self to let her in curiosity but with NC and then deliver that change to her by some way and you are NC

Edited March 4, 2012 by jassib

[broken-and-lost]

I fall asleep fine but have trouble sleeping through the night. My mind wanders and thinks of her daily at around 3 or 4 am. Then I can't get back to sleep. She is on my mind all day long. I wish I could control my brain to make it stop thinking of her. This is a really hard time for me.

 

feel for you bro this is still happening to me 1.5 years later hope doesn't last that long for you m8

[Numb79]

FLyguy-

I feel your pain. Its like clockwork!! You wake up at odd hours every morning..... and that is the thought that crosses your mind. Its so irritating. I have yet to find a solution for it so I just accept it. Today was actually better because I woke up at 530 AM rather than 3 or 4. Maybe I am turning the corner.... I don't know. I know you have heard this before.... but you have to give it time. Stay NC and let time do the rest. We are here for you if you need to vent and post. Just don't give in because you will have to start this journey all over again!! I'm sure you can take some pride in the fact that you have made it this far. Don't lose the momentum that you have gained!!

 

Jassib

I sure hope you are not using NC as a means to get the EX back. The purpose of NC is for you to get over it. Its not meant for her to miss you, see that you have changed, and come crawling back. Please do not expect these things.... Take care of yourself and don't worry about what she is doing. Just focus on you... and yourself getting better! Its a long a bumpy road... but we will all get there!