Way2blue Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 So, last summer I began "dating" this guy that is related to one of my friend's. He called it dating, anyway. I only saw him about once a week as he lives 45 minutes away. Never invited me to meet his friends or anything. I thought it was too soon for him to have any emotional investment as his exgirlfriend had died less than a year prior. I had fallen in love with him but could tell the feeling was not mutual. So I said goodbye. Turns out he was saying goodbye too and said he wasn't ready to be responsible for someone's feelings. There were a lot more signals, such as not calling when he said he would. Two weeks later I find out he went back to his other ex girlfriend. Fine. Broke my heart. I started going out with the girls and just having fun. Three months later he calls. We had a super fun evening after two weeks of him calling me everyday. Then the games began: saying he'd call me later and not hearing from him for three or four days. So I texted him and told him he would never hear from me again and I didn't expect to hear from him either. Every week or two I would get a random text from him, which I ignored. One said "if you can talk to your ex husband, why my me? I thought I knew you. All I wanted was a friend" I replied that I tried to be his friend but he was rude and inconsiderate so sorry. Two weeks go by and he texts "I'm sorry I wasn't as good to you as you were to me. This weighs heavy on me and makes me see my flaws. I miss talking to you. You were a good friend". So I accept his apology, we talk, we go out, sing, dance, he stays over, it's all very romantic and fun. We sing together, cuddle, and talk almost everyday. Sometimes for hours. He never stayed at my house in the past. Family get together he totally acts like we're together. I get the warning talk from his brother. My question: after three weeks of this should I bring up the "where is this going (if anywhere) " talk? He told me he wants to be married someday. He calls me "honey". We have a great time. Once a week. I am having fun but don't want to sell myself short. It's kinda nice the way things are, but I want to be in love and be loved someday. We are both 51. I don't want to give up a possible good thing, but... Link to post Share on other sites
Boo Radley Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 The warning talk from his brother is telling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Way2blue Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Yep. I think you're right. I feel like filler material. I mentioned to him that he is never the one to initiate plans and he said because I always beat him to it. Thing is, if I wait, then bring it up near the end of the week, he already has something else going on. I'm just going to make myself unavailable, I think. I think the reason I hung on is because there really isn't anyone else I'm interested in and we could be a perfect match if he would put forth the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Boo Radley Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thats the issue. It takes two and you dont want to be the one whos doing all the work and sometimes thinking youre not doing enough when youre doing too much. Move on. I would. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Way2blue Posted March 4, 2012 Author Share Posted March 4, 2012 Thanks, Boo. Link to post Share on other sites
Boo Radley Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Youre welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Way2blue Posted March 6, 2012 Author Share Posted March 6, 2012 I texted him this big long text about how I could easily be happy forever with him if he put forth the effort, but I knew it was time to move on. He said I was a drama queen. I told him it's not dramatic to know I want a loving relationship and that I'm worth more than a FWB. He accused me of being angry he was having a guys night. No girls and to separate my past from the future. No, I wasn't upset about that. Just wanting to move on in life and I wouldn't be able to talk to him again. Thanks for the good times, etc. He said he gets the message and he would call from time to time to see how I was doing. I told him no. It would make me miss him. His reply was Tough. "boohoo. Buck up buckaroo". I said I was glad he was so ok with it. He replied "just doing what YOU think is best. I left it at that, and I'm glad I said goodbye. Thanks for the support: you confirmed what I had been thinking all along. If he actually cared I'm sure he would have protested. Link to post Share on other sites
Boo Radley Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Theres more fish in the sea. As they say. Link to post Share on other sites
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