chtwf2012 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Well here is my story..I noticed odd behavior from my wife starting in September so I started paying attention to the signs. One night in october she come home at 3:30 in the morning after having dinner with a girlfriend. I noticed she was acting strangely when she came home so I knew something was up. I made sure to be alert from any text messages and was able to get her password protected iphone unlocked and saw a string of txt msgs. Went something like this.."last night wasn't planned, I know my freind was asking me questions already but I'll keep it on the downlow" Obvious red flags expecially looking back on it but as any good husband I trusted my wife and still stayed with her. However, I got a gps tracking device, learned how to backup her txt messages using itunes, and created an online account on her wireless provider. After months of therapy, countless discussions, monitoring, and arguing I've finally gotten the answer I needed. She accepted an invite from her "friend" who she is his boss btw, and met up with him today at a bar and later his house for almost 7 hours. I spent today with my beautiful 2 year old daughter and thought this would be the last normal day she will have in her life. It is so sad but I will be divorcing my wife tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Sorry to hear it. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Better now than in say five or ten years from now. That's tough to get through, but you can and will. Be a good dad and hold your head high, and be proud for kicking her to the curb. Life is way too short to tolerate a cheating partner. How you look at it will make all the difference, ultimately the day should come when you will be grateful and realize she did you a favor. Link to post Share on other sites
g450 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel. Been there done that. But you are NOT a fool. You are a man that did what he needed to do. You deserve better and you will get better, as many of us find out later once we get past our struggles. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Ouch...sorry for you being here. However, you need to protect yourself and your little girl. Your wife made this choice, you didn't. Now she has to live with her decision. She knew that being with someone else would risk her family, but she did it anyways. Good luck and keep posting. Link to post Share on other sites
loversquarrel Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Sorry to hear....My wife cheated on me, so I know the feeling. We are divorced and my daughters and I have a better relationship now than before. I have also met a wonderful woman who has been treating me far better than my wife ever had. Take it from me....it will suck for a bit but it will get better, you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chtwf2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 ok, so my wife is out on another date with her boyfriend from work. I've never proved that she had any physical contact so she indicates she never did anything physical but refused none contact. Should I just go and prove it or does it really matter at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 31, 2012 Share Posted March 31, 2012 They always lie and say they had no physical contact. Don't believe it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chtwf2012 Posted March 31, 2012 Author Share Posted March 31, 2012 I know I am just terrified about only seeing my daughter once every two weeks and the 2500 a month I will need to pay her when we get a divorce lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Professor X Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 I know I am just terrified about only seeing my daughter once every two weeks and the 2500 a month I will need to pay her when we get a divorce lol. If you prove infidelity you won't need to pay. At least that's how it is here. So for your original question, yes, find some proves, and if I were you, I'd hire the services of a private detective - they know what to do + authorized by the law + they got extra credibility in the court + they know exactly what to look for and which evidence to collect. Besides, given the circumstances, there's a good chance you might get full custody, but who knows. At any rate, you need to leave her and move on with your life and the sooner the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 So, you confronted, she tells you nothing physical is going on; yet, she's out on a date and not hiding from you anymore? If this is the case...if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck.... Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted April 2, 2012 Share Posted April 2, 2012 (edited) ok, so my wife is out on another date with her boyfriend from work. I've never proved that she had any physical contact so she indicates she never did anything physical but refused none contact. Should I just go and prove it or does it really matter at this point. I know I am just terrified about only seeing my daughter once every two weeks and the 2500 a month I will need to pay her when we get a divorce lol. Yes, it matters a lot. If you're able to prove adultery (which is not easy) as grounds for the divorce then you can probably get primary custody of your daughter and won't have to pay alimony to your ex, assuming you don't live in a no-fault state. If you divorce because of the adultery but you have no proof then it will essentially be a no-fault divorce and she will be entitled to full rights with regard to alimony and custody. The details vary from state to state so you really need to get advice from a lawyer. Now, the hard part is getting conclusive evidence that will be admissible in court. If you can get, by all means do so. That leverage may lead to a settlement in your favor and prevent a long court battle. In my state, even photos of the two of them entering and exiting a motel room three hours later are not considered conclusive (they could have been playing checkers). Conclusive would be an eye-witness or photographs of the actual act with both of them recognizable. Eavesdropping devices have the inherent problem of you having to prove it was her, and depending on how it was obtained it might not be admissible. A confession to a third party should do it and they could even be compelled to testify, assuming they would be sufficiently intimidated as not to commit perjury. Do not let her figure out that you're trying to get hard evidence because that will make it nearly impossible to get. It would be better if she didn't even know you suspected but guess it too late for that. Hiring a PI probably is a good idea as Prof said, and if she's still blatently carrying on it might just be successful. Edited April 2, 2012 by salparadise Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted April 3, 2012 Share Posted April 3, 2012 or wait it out for a while and then start moving money to off shore accounts. Then, talk to a lawyer. Link to post Share on other sites
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