Making friends

[Leigh 87]

I came out of a period of social isolation, and am not working or studying. I have no cash to learn a language, like I so want to do, in a group setting, and cannot take up hobbies I want to, in a group setting.

 

 

I am a personal trainer, about to start working in the industry. I have started working at a local Cafe, but it is only a couple of days here and there. Not working, studying, or being part of any group, means I will have to make more of an effort to meet " friends".

 

 

 

I have learnt how to be, spcially speaking, from trial and error. I am a likable person, but coming out of social isolation, I met my byofriend, and had to learn from scratch how to ACT around people.

 

There were some misses, with my boyfriends friends, but I have come good now, and I really try my best to learn from my mistakes.

 

I am at a point where people like me, some people like me a lot, from their firts impression of me. It is just that, I find it hard to take it to the next level, asking them for coffee, to hang out another time, etc.

 

 

I was meeting people at my gym, but had to quitt as I cannot afford it. Although i can keep in greta shape from running daily and nigthly ab and body toning work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

RIght now: I am not working much, studying, or otherwise, and cannot afford to do any new activities. Until I start my personal training job, HOW should I go about meeting people?

 

 

Things I will try:

 

- spending my day outside, eating lunch and reading at the central park: a main park in the middle of my city, where people go to eat. A small city and park, mind you.

 

- spending some of the days at a library. After all, I am supposed to be stidying and learning fitness moves and material. Which is better done in a free, public library.

 

 

I tend to get along well with people when I first meet them, as I am a very positive, happy looking person; always smiling. I always say hi to people if they look friendly, and chat to people when shopping. I can tell the people who eep to themselves, opposed to people who enjoy chatting.

 

 

 

 

I spend most days with my boyfriend, and while we both perfer spending a lot of time together, it is getting to me that I do not go out with my own friends.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Volunteer in a group activity helping people or working for a cause or a political candidate or whatever interests you.

 

Join a meet-up group that does something you want to do.

 

Participate in support or self-help groups that deal with something pertinent to you; for example, overeaters anonymous (people who have struggled with food issues of all kinds are welcomed).

 

Look for free classes or activities at parks and nature preserves. Where I live there are all kinds of things like this.

 

Have fun!

[Leigh 87]

Here are the only actrivities I am interest in, that MIGHT be for free..

 

- hiking groups

 

 

Volenteering? While I would love to help, a lot of those organisations have mean people working for them, and expect u to work your butt off for free, and they treat u like your working for them, when really, your there to help out, not be treated like your an employee.

 

 

I sort of feel/.... Lame ? I am being totally honest. My boyfriend is normal, has friends, and has never had problems making friends.

 

Me? I think it would be embarrassing to tell him that I am out volenteering or what not?

 

It feels embarrassing, that I have to go out and make friends in such a way..? I am comfotable with it, just a little embarrassed I have not gone out and met a bunch of people the times we HAVe been out.

 

I think that it seams logical to just " go out, meet people when your out, get their numbers, and take it from there"

I have gotten peoples numbers. I just never follow it up, and have had too many things going on in my own personal life to think about it.

 

I am now READY and WILLING to get peoples numbers the next time I am out clubbing or at the pub having a drink or WHATEVER social setting I am inw hen I go out.

 

I will follow it up.

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm, I will look into " hiking" groups.. In fact, if the people are cool, my boyfriend will prob come. We both want to lose weight and get fit and LOVE hiking.

 

 

Besides hiking, the only enjoyable way for me to meet people, is to just chill out around the town I live in, and meet people out and about.

 

 

I am reasonable at meeting people in public/ at rthe shops, library, etc... and I ENJOY it.

 

 

Besides hiking, the only other way I would ENJOY doing things with people, is to just be outside a lot. I love talking to people, and being outside, rather than inside researching crap on the internet when I am not working.

 

 

Things I like, that involve the prospect of meeting people:

 

- Leaning Spanish ( as it is the 2nd or 3rd language in the word, and I want to travel to centreal and south America )

 

- Perhaps an art or pottery class, I enjoy learning new things a lot like this, I LOVE making presents for people!

 

- HIKING or fitness orientated groups would be GREAT.

 

- Adventure sport groups would be great, as I want to get into that, it is an interest of mine I have not been able to explore due to not haqving the money.

 

- I love people, in general ( the nice ones, the grumpy, cold, unfriendly ones do not interest me). I love just chatting to people when I am out and about.

 

 

- The library is a place I will frequent, as I love reading.

 

 

As you can see, there are only 3 things that I LIKE, that involve coming into contact with people, and that ARE FREE. Even hiking will prob cost money EVERYTHING does these days yikes....

 

 

 

 

I think I will make more of an effort with the things I alreadey LIKE, before going and volenteering for organisations that I am uncertain about, or that I will not enjoy doing.

 

 

I WILL look into over eaters, but to be honest, I do not want to have to deal with people and their FOOD issues, I have just fully recovered from an eating disorder, and do not want to have to think about food more than I need to. I am over it, to be honest and do nto enjoy the topic of discussion much these days. I want NEW interests.

[Leigh 87]

By the way - I will pretty much try anything out there, that appeals to me.

 

 

I am sure there are SOME organisations I will like volenteering for, hwoever, when I GOOGLE my area, there is little to no help or info....

 

I will be out and about more in public, not inside here all day, now that I am away from living with Andrew as much..

 

I will try to find places while I am walking around towns, in terms of charitable organisations.

 

Being kind to people is one thing that moves me and drives me, and it is something I will make an effort to seek out.