LSgirl Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Yes, 6 days of NC (went NC straight away at breakup) he sent me a text saying how sorry he was and how he's a pathetic loser and that I'm so much better off now and hope one day I could talk to him. He said he felt ashamed for what he did (strung me along for over a year, never got over his ex) and said how im a great and beautiful person and how much he hated himself. I was actually surprised, he's not very emotional person when we were together, but I think the NC really got to him. He probably always thought I'd stick around, but I managed to pick up what self-esteem and respect for myself I had left and walked away. I guess the breakup was mutual, but he knows he felt like he used me even if it was not intentional. Overall, he was a great bf, just emotionally unavailable... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 If they regret it well they've never told me. They only seem to anyway if things don't work out for them and you aren't there for them to use you. As it's highly likely I was cheated on, they have someone else usually picked out before they've left you. My ex turned everyone against me, so everyone cut me off. Everyone still thinks that he's this fantastic guy and the sun shines out of his ass. But I know what a jerk he really is. He is so arrogant and selfish he'll never change. I hit 'like', because I sooooo sympathize with you. SAME thing happened to me and that is what I am trying to heal from. That was what incited my thread on Karma in the abuse forum. His circle thinks he is this awesome guy; he had them all block me. I am a 'psycho' because I went to his ex wife for answers and she graciously filled me in. I am also 'evil', too. And he had at least 5 dating site profiles toward the end while we were together. When I confronted him is when he dumped me in a cruel way; verbally abusive to me. Now he is with someone new and it makes me sick. My ex was also very arrogant and selfish. I really hope she sees how he is. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I really wouldn't be surprised if my ex has pulled the same BS on others since me. Dumping them out of the blue by text, for no reason. Then blaming everything on them and verbally abusing them by text. Then refusing to meet them and give them any answers and completely disappearing. Then turning everyone against them, so they won't find out why he did a 180 on them. And if they were cheated on or not. they are always looking for someone 'better', find them and go with them without ending the previous relationship. if you get upset, somehow he turns it into it all being your fault. He then starts up with someone new as if you didn't exist. It's so easy to block you, as well. Thought I was alone out there going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Nancy B Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I can relate to this feeling of longing for them to feel guilty for their actions. You are not responsible for her actions and her thoughts. Chances are she is in denial or her cruel behavior. Harsh emails probably try and put blame on your shoulders. Nonsense texts indicate that she is trying to see that you guys are 'okay' ie. she has no reason to feel bad. Please, don't focus on it. Her eventual guilt will meaning nothing to you when you've properly healed. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GKM Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I think people can become VERY selfish and they block themselves from really caring by making excuses for their behavior in their head. They blame YOU etc to stop themselves from really seeing how they are treating someone who was good to them and sweet to them. If they stopped fooling themselves for a minute and let the truth in and could actually see what they were doing maybe it would crush them, so they convince themselves that what they are doing is justified. Link to post Share on other sites
tornangel Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 GKM, I totally agree. My answer is that I have been on both sides. I have been the selfish one who didnt care and the one getting the Karma now. So yes in my book Karma def does exist. I dont think that someone who breaks someones heart without a care in the world cares about anyone except his next fix to his insecure ego . That is because he def is already broken inside and his ego is soooo fragile to actually be honest and feel actual remorse for who he has hurt. I am not even sure its that they dont care as much as the dont have the tools to care or FEEL remorse. They always blame the other person. Think about an abusive person, they will lie to the person they abused to the point of making them feel nuts. Because its about control to them, they only care about CONTROL. And winning of cou rse. And this control is the same reason a person has an eating disorder. The only thing they can control is the person they are abusing or their eating , etc. The real reason behind all of this is they have absolutely no control at all in their own emotions, feelings, etc. So I would have to say, when I was SELFISH it was more about running , RUNNING from my feelings of rejection or whatever else I assumed someone was gonna do to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 GKM, I totally agree. My answer is that I have been on both sides. I have been the selfish one who didnt care and the one getting the Karma now. So yes in my book Karma def does exist. I dont think that someone who breaks someones heart without a care in the world cares about anyone except his next fix to his insecure ego . That is because he def is already broken inside and his ego is soooo fragile to actually be honest and feel actual remorse for who he has hurt. I am not even sure its that they dont care as much as the dont have the tools to care or FEEL remorse. They always blame the other person. Think about an abusive person, they will lie to the person they abused to the point of making them feel nuts. Because its about control to them, they only care about CONTROL. And winning of cou rse. And this control is the same reason a person has an eating disorder. The only thing they can control is the person they are abusing or their eating , etc. The real reason behind all of this is they have absolutely no control at all in their own emotions, feelings, etc. So I would have to say, when I was SELFISH it was more about running , RUNNING from my feelings of rejection or whatever else I assumed someone was gonna do to me. I totally agree! My ex has all but convinced herself that I had wronged her, when the reason I broke up with her was because she showed me absolutely no support after my dog was hit by a car and killed on Christmas. I have come to realise that she simply cannot bring herself to take any emotional responsibility. I'm glad I found out about this before she started cheating on me, which I am sure she was trying to do. My dog did not die in vain. Link to post Share on other sites
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