Mme. Chaucer Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I think this is insane.... Not even slightly amusing stuff of the daisyish variety but very disturbing.... I'd rather be bitter everyday of the week than hopelessly blind and obsessed. I don't think anyone on LS can assist Adriana and I wish all involved luck with that situation. But, it's probably significant that the ubiquitous Daisy made one of her command performances on this thread. I still think we're eating bait. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 She has my number and can call me anytime. I doubt that she will ever tell me to stay away from her husband or that they are working on their marriage. She is too passive aggressive for that. She won’t budge an inch. I won’t budge an inch either. I have the blog out there. One thing I’m sure of, is that I’m not going to put my life on hold because of him. I refuse to be a victim. I replaced self-pity with self-preservance. I cannot afford to see myself as an OW of 10, or 5 years. First time I called his wife was 4 months after the affair has started. Two months later I called her again to tell her my name and reveal addition information. So, their “good” marriage, might be a textbook case, but definitely I’m not a typical OW. This is relatively short affair. All this in a 6 to 7 month affair? You are acting like an OW who has been waiting around for 10 to 15 years already. No, his wife has not called you because she probably thinks you are a psycho and he has confirmed it. She may even pity you by now if she even gives you a thought at all. I'm starting to pity you myself. You certainly aren't a typical OW because you are far too delusional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 OK, the excerpt that I posted here is just one of the 55 blog posts I have. Not all of them are focused on their “good” marriage. Even if everything he said about their own relationship was lies, at least she will know now how he spoke highly of her and the M. Other blog posts are depicting the moments we spent together, I now I can see that that kind of content would be too hard for some of you to digest. ….It goes from the stages when we were strictly friends, to the time we both noticed something is happening and our friendship was transforming into an intimate relationship, to our first kiss, to the way he was telling me that he loves me when he is close to orgasm, to the gifts we exchanged, to the little scars that he has on his bottom, to the trips we took, to the phone calls of his wife he was rejecting when spending the nights with me, to the picture that I have of their marriage… There’s too much bitterness in some of the posts here and I can clearly see that some folks have been burned really badly in the past. Sorry about that. Anyway, when I called her, I wanted to see if something will change. Such as… that he will stop the affair, and dedicate himself and start working on their marriage. That way, I though, I will see his “real face”. A part of me wanted him, the real him, to hate me for what I’ve done and then turn to his wife. Nothing like that happened. He contacted me again, and told me, by the way, that he is not happy that I revealed more details. We continued the online communication and now he is sending me kisses, telling me that he misses me… She has my number and can call me anytime. I doubt that she will ever tell me to stay away from her husband or that they are working on their marriage. She is too passive aggressive for that. She won’t budge an inch. I won’t budge an inch either. I have the blog out there. One thing I’m sure of, is that I’m not going to put my life on hold because of him. I refuse to be a victim. I replaced self-pity with self-preservance. I cannot afford to see myself as an OW of 10, or 5 years. First time I called his wife was 4 months after the affair has started. Two months later I called her again to tell her my name and reveal addition information. So, their “good” marriage, might be a textbook case, but definitely I’m not a typical OW. This is relatively short affair. We’ve been intimate for the last 6-7 months. I feel that now is the time to make it or break it. Besides, I don’t want to marry him, nor I want him divorced. Just wanted to show her that the power games she plays on him are useless. I want him to be a person of his own and be able to make his own decisions. Decisions such as going out, not like divorcing. Before the affair, we were communicating every day (and night) for two years. He is really somebody I can deeply connect with. So, even if we stop being intimate, I cannot just give up on our friendship. He is not giving up, either. My MM is struggling with his own limitations. But that’s his own choice. Their “good” marriage is their “good” marriage. Not mine. If he wants to do something about it, he will have to do his homework by himself. Of course, there will be a bumpy ride ahead of him, full of twists. By the time he is done (if ever) I might not be around waiting for him. Like I said, I’m not going to make him central in my life and spend years waiting for his calls. Recently I went out for a drink with a male friend. I was amazed how relatively easy it was for both of us to schedule this meeting. No pressure of choosing the place or wondering if somebody might see us. Then I couldn’t help but compare. He was recently divorced and I admire this decisiveness to put an end to something that is beyond repair. This guy is 15 years younger than the MM, and is extremely handsome. The MM is overweight, getting bald, has gray hair... Paradoxically, still I find myself more attracted and attached to the MM. Could be the scarcity and the secrecy of the moments we share. Another male friend of mine has invited me to join him on a trip to Rome for 10 days. I’m going! We were never romantically involved and this is not going to be a romantic getaway, though. He is on a rebound from his previous relationship, and I need some time for myself. I’m looking forward to sightseeing. This is going to be my 3rd trip abroad without the MM, ever since we started the affair. For now, I’m staying with the married guy and we’ll see how things will develop in the future. Forcing myself to NC, won’t work. If I want out, it will happen when the time comes when I want, at my own pace, the natural way. It appears your bog posts were created with the intent to harm his wife. It continues to roadmap all the emotions and pain for her to view. The fact that you then throw it in her face is just plain mean. Then you take the position of taunting her with such bragging rights... To cause more pain and suffering. It's just beyond belief that a woman would be as cruel as you. Their marriage is NOT your business. You have given evidence that you will accept less than a relationship with a man - by being involved with a man who is married. Why do you think you ONLY deserve less than? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 OP, pleeeeeeeeease give us the link to your blog? Pretty please? We are all so toxically bitter, we need the kind of help that only you can offer us ... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
donnamaybe Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 You are acting like an OW who has been waiting around for 10 to 15 years already. I'm thinking maybe going on seven... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Adriana, from your posts, I don't get that you really care about this man, I think it's a game to you about power and control. You want to one up this woman (his wife). You like games......you are playing them with your mm and worse, his wife. Your posts indicate it is nothing to do with love, you write with little emotion, it's just about games, power and control. Somehow you have convinced yourself that you are superior to his wife, superior to the posters here. Sadly.....you aren't superior, not at all. It's also designed with the intent to harm. That is what's so despicable! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 But, it's probably significant that the ubiquitous Daisy made one of her command performances on this thread. I still think we're eating bait. It's possible... But in any case it is still insane lol, as who has the time to make this up?! If it's made up it's insane and if it is true, it's still insane. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Adriana, please get yourself into therapy ASAP. You accuse his wife of being passive agressive and your entire post smacks of passive agressiveness. What if a crazy woman was posting this crap on the Internet about your mother, daughter or sister? Would you still be inclined to bash them in this way? I didn't add "or best friend" because no woman would be safe with you as a friend. Get help...you seriously ned it! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Wow. There are just no words for the kind of sick you are. No words. Seek help...perhaps of the religious kind. Or go slither under a rock. I'm truly sick that there are women out there who get off on this stuff. But then again REALLY...do we know if she is for real? It takes ALL kinds to make up this world! Link to post Share on other sites
frozensprouts Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 If this is a real story , then it seems to me that the OP is one of several things: (a) arrogant and self centered (b) self deluded © cruel (d) pretty deeply wounded ( she spends so much time trying to convince the world ( and herself) of how strong and independent and free willed she is...makes me wonder what she's trying to hide underneath all of that (e) full of cr@p ( big part of me thinks that she's some 16 year old girl- or 45 year old guy_ who's desperately lonely and so wanting of attention that she/he's willing to make up some story to get it) Link to post Share on other sites
Spark1111 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 LS, people like this do not post often but they are out there. It is less about love or emotional connection with the MP and more to do with winning a competition against the spouse. If she finally won the man, she would grow bored and eventually discard him because without the drama of besting a wife, it is not as much fun for her. Or, after winning the man, she will continue to write blogs about how horrible the xwife is. She needs to fix, rescue and "best" the spouse. It keeps it so alive for her, yet she too is PA in how she goes about accomplishing her goals. In therapy, they would try to ascertain which one of her parents was the narcissist, and which parent needed rescuing and why she feels most alive only when this childhood dynamic is played out over and over again in adulthood. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 He is lying to two women and thinks that he can get away with it. I called his wife 2 months ago, and told her about the affair, but didn't tell her my name. She didn't seem to believe what I say.... The affair resumed as if nothing has happened Well hell ya he can get away with it. You told his wife and still continued to see him. He is getting away with it because you let him. In the meantime I went on writing my blog about new our encounters... Yes, I have a blog in which I have described every single detail, since the very beginning. Neither him, not his wife knew about it. I'll need to call his wife again and tell her the additional details about the affair. And why would you do that? You already told her about the affair, and continued it. Seems to me you get off on letting her know how you are still seeing her husband and want to rub it in her face. I mean sheesh, you are writing a blog. How pathetic is that? Informing a wife of an affair is one thing. She deserves to know. Continuing the affair after you outed him, writing a blog, and wanting to tell her more details is bordering psycho behavior. She needs to know that the affair never stopped. Here is the funny thing, you are doing all of this, and continuing the affair, as if its wrong. If you feel the need to out him, then why are you still with him? This a competition for you? You want to tear her down until you can claim victory over her? If you are so concerned about her need to know, which I think anyone can see that isn't what you are about, then why don't you do it face to face? Surely its the least you can do for being a total s*** to his wife. As far as her H is concerned, she will need to deal with him however she sees fit. I will send her the link. I'm sure you will. I can see you getting all giddy when you hit the send button too. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 I'm real. My blog is real. Stop the paranoia, please. I would very much appreciate opinion from people who have been in my shoes already, OW/OM. Sorry, you aren't fooling anyone here. You aren't asking for jack crap. You posted a story, and told the forum what you will do. You didn't ask anything. Just a pathetic story of jealousy and vindictiveness on your part. You already gave the wife the information she needed to know. Anything else is just you being catty and immature. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Yup, a one thread troll. Dropped her story, didn't like the truth about what kind of despicable person she is, and she is gone. A right deserved ass kickin' Now I've got the song, "Hit The Road Jack" playing in my head. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrighterWashing Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 (edited) The funny thing about being the OW, you're never happy until you get to see the wife suffer. That's ok its mutual. She couldnt be the OW without being like that. H's OW was the instigator and have little joy sweeter than seeing her suffer since the end of the affair. It's not much consolation but it's worth hanging on to. Better still she so richly deserves to feel abandoned and lied to and cheap. And to be beaten by a woman she thinks she's so superior to- priceless! About the blog- I may be odd but id rather know. Even if I didn't kick him out I'd know where I stood. I had H claim he'd broken it off when he hadn't. Found out months later. Threw him out. It was the turning point that woke him up. Whether we stay together or not it's now on my terms with him begging to stay and that's worth a lot to me. Having been disempowered I got back my power. I think the Ow should also give her name though! She is not innocent here. ETA: totally agree this OW is despicable in taking pleasure in this- don't mean to say otherwise. I guess I am just not surprised. That's what OW means to me because the one I have to deal with is like that. Edited March 22, 2012 by BrighterWashing Link to post Share on other sites
findingnemo Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 The OP disappeared? As I've always said, there are OWs and then there are other women whose agendas have nothing whatsoever to do with love. I feel really sorry for the MM. Not only did he mess up by cheating, he ended up with a woman with psych issues. I doubt that he's still IMing her as she claims. If she did all that she claims, then he is avoiding her like the plague. Serial cheaters have a very high sense of self preservation. My worry is that there's a woman who woke up one morning to find her world shattered by someone akin to Glenn Close. This is sick! Link to post Share on other sites
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