Tempted

[Restless]

I have been married for 6 years. Only 3 months after getting married my spouce became impotent. I am much younger than him, I have managed to stay with him ,he is a good man ,however he works 80+ hours a week as well.

Last year I became attracted to a common friend of ours.I never really acted on it or let it be known ,this attraction.At times I would just decide to distract my self with other things.

Eventually after a bout a year I told him how I felt about him.

He basically ,I could tell had been having the same feelings, but said he could not do that to a friend(referring to my spouse)

This was 3 months ago.He also said "Take care of your situation first..."

Recently ,however, he has been really paying special attention to me, and the other night when my husband and I were leaving a party ,he(OM) pulled me aside and asked me" to think of him."

 

It is like; even though we are both trying to avoid it,we seem to making small steps toward each other..

 

I have thought to leave my husband ,yet the thought of hurting him terrifies me.

He also is prone to depression and has in the past said things about not wanting to live.

I feel obligated to him in ways,we never fight(we rarely are together due to his work load) we simply exist together .

 

I dont know what scares me more..

staying in my marriage , or leaving.

Being with OM..or not being with him.

 

Maybe someone else had had a similar situation, ?

[Debster]

You are married. Now that you find that it is not everything you hoped or wished for, you want out. But you don't want to hurt your husband. If you really were concerned with not hurting him, you wouldn't even be considering cheating on him.

 

I don't think you know for sure what you want to do. Instead of contemplating an affair or leaving, why don't you put those energies into trying to repair your marriage. Granted, an impotent husband is tough to deal with - but that doesn't mean that you can't do other things with your husband.......... As for the 80-hour work week, ask him to cut it down so you can spend some quality time together.

 

This so-called friend, doesn't seem like a friend to me. He says one thing that he doesn't want to hurt his friend and does another by asking you to think of him and take care of your situation first. Can't you see through this?