Can't figure out where I am with her

[shyguy117]

I met this girl a little over a month ago, whose boyfriend of 2 years had just left her a couple weeks before. We hit it off pretty much from the start. Well I've been talking to her a lot, and we both confirmed our interest in each other. For a couple of weeks when we talked on the phone she would always steer the conversation towards us saying sexual things to each other. A few times after that we met up at parties or at my house and made out and had fun with one another...not sex but just about everything leading up to it lol.

 

For the past week or so we haven't really talked like that to each other (I've sorta tried but she didn't really seem receptive). She will acknowledge and even comment on the things we have done, and she'll make sexual remarks but not as explicitly as she used to. She even told me earlier today that she is into me and she likes to refer to her actions (standing close to me; sitting in my lap; stuff like that) but she doesn't seem as...passionate as she was a couple weeks ago. One thing that makes me wonder sometimes is he fact that she won't talk to me on the phone if she is near her mom, but she has told me it's because she doesn't want her mom to think less of her since she just got out of a 2 year relationship (and I sort of buy it...I think). She tells me I'm the only guy she wants right now, but she won't kiss me or anything in front of her best friend, but she will sit in my lap and let me rub her back...just last night she asked if I could "count her ribs" and when I tried, she grabbed my hand and put it on her breast inside her shirt and pretended I was actually counting her ribs (keep in mind her friend was sitting right next to us and she was in my lap). She seems to deflect a lot more if I try to get sexual or anything on the phone now, but she doesn't outright shoot me down.

 

So my question is this: What do all of you think about this? Is she really into me but doesn't want to make a big deal about it? Or is she just wanting to have some fun without making me feel like she's not all that interested?

[Michelle28]

Hate to say it but I think you are just a rebound. She clearly still has feelings for her ex and is trying to fill that void with you. I know for a fact if I am into a guy, I would not let it get sexual on the phone or put his hand down my shirt until we were serious. I feel like she is almost stringing you along until she either gets back with her ex or gets over him and finds someone else. I would either go along with it or just move on to a girl that will appreciate you and not make you a rebound.

[Nwabudikhe]

Gotta ditto what Michelle said to an extent. But what this girl is telling you is probably also true, or at least true to her. She knows she's being very physical with you and moved that pretty quickly. Women have tons of pressure on them to not look like "sluts" or like they are "easy", so I definitely understand where she's coming from.

 

However, don't play the love fool in this game. Women want men. Be a man and take the lead. This means being totally confident in who you are, knowing what you want, and making the moves and taking the initiative to get it. If you like her, start taking initiative.

 

She probably has some mixed feelings right now. Just make your intentions clear (communicate this by your state of being instead of with your words; show her, don't tell her) and do what you wish to do. If she's not into it, she's not the girl for you right now. There are MANY others so don't invest into someone who's not willing to invest into you.