'playmate'

[bolase]

Wtf is wrong with women nowadays. He uses a dorky pet name and you want to bail on him? It simply means he has FUN spending time with you and going on adventures. Sure it sounds juvenile, but its a cute way of saying "I really connect with you and have a lot of fun with you...kind of like a best friend when I was kid"

 

Id take all that as a compliment from a girl. It means we really click.

 

I call bull crap on all this OP. It seems like you dont like him too much and are looking for reasons to launch him. If you were really into him, something as silly as this wouldnt even matter.

 

Jeezus Christ. Im so glad Im not dating at the moment.

 

EDIT:

 

P.S. - He may very well be a good guy, but some of you women are so goddamn on guard all the time that you over think every little thing. So many threads like this pop up where women this something harmless a guy did or said, and transform it into something super horrible. You then end up pushing the guy away, and then hes the bad guy...even though your behavior caused his negative reactions to you.

 

Hence, self fulfilling prophecy. Then we see women here lament about not finding good guys...Its so beyond me that this is so damn common. Cant people just relax, not take things so seriously, and just have fun with someone as good friends and then see where things lead? Sometimes you need to just chill the hell out and allow yourself to be a little vulnerable.

 

I personally wish I could erase my need for female companionship and sex sometimes. Because the drama seems to far outweigh the good. Personally if I was the guy seeing the OP and she reacted this way to such a harmless comment, and actually contemplated dumped me over it, Id just bail myself. I dont need a woman who creates drama so easily...just imagine how messy things will be in the future when we face a real problem.

 

/rant

 

 

Kaylan. It's a comment that has come up more than once, and I know that while we are getting on great, this guy has a history of choosing casual relationships with girls who he "just wanted to have fun with, didn't want to meet her parents" etc. That's why my guard is up over it. I do like him and drama is not my thing.

I sought clarification front the guy in question who said he is only seeing me, but describing me as a playmate after asking me to come away with him just makes me cringe, that was my natural reaction.

Maybe you're right that I'm looking for bad signals though because I'm not 100%, he is so charming and never shows vulnerability or emotion that I can grab on to and so I don't feel I'm getting to know him as fast as I'd really like to.

 

EDIT thanks for all the many and varied perspectives..people on this forum can be extremely scathing..I am generally a super positive person so I need the reality check but anyway I'm gonna take it lightly and hope for the best (on hometown dates!)

Edited March 7, 2012 by bolase

[stillafool]

So why don't you just come out and tell him that you want a relationship with him? Tell him when he called you a 'playmate' it hurt your feelings and you are now ready for a relationship. Tell him you do not want to just go off on vacation and have sex any way he wants it without some type of commitment. Just talk to him.

[bolase]

So why don't you just come out and tell him that you want a relationship with him? Tell him when he called you a 'playmate' it hurt your feelings and you are now ready for a relationship. Tell him you do not want to just go off on vacation and have sex any way he wants it without some type of commitment. Just talk to him.

 

Because I think that would go down terribly. He didn't hurt my feelings, he did put me on guard. I'm not up for making a guy feel bad when they didn't mean harm..

[kaylan]

Kaylan. It's a comment that has come up more than once, and I know that while we are getting on great, this guy has a history of choosing casual relationships with girls who he "just wanted to have fun with, didn't want to meet her parents" etc. That's why my guard is up over it. I do like him and drama is not my thing.

I sought clarification front the guy in question who said he is only seeing me, but describing me as a playmate after asking me to come away with him just makes me cringe, that was my natural reaction.

Maybe you're right that I'm looking for bad signals though because I'm not 100%, he is so charming and never shows vulnerability or emotion that I can grab on to and so I don't feel I'm getting to know him as fast as I'd really like to.

 

EDIT thanks for all the many and varied perspectives..people on this forum can be extremely scathing..I am generally a super positive person so I need the reality check but anyway I'm gonna take it lightly and hope for the best (on hometown dates!)

Im sorry I was overly blunt with you, and albeit a bit rude...however, you need to let us all know these details in your opening post next time. They are important to the situation and properly giving you advice. Without them we cannot give you the most accurate assessment.

 

Ive made playful comments like him to my exes in the past, so I wasnt gonna crucify the guy for a seemingly harmless statement. Casual or serious, I can see myself saying what he said to a woman I enjoy spending time with. Now that you have given us more info about him with your last post, it totally changes the perception some of us will have of him.

 

Either way, I wouldnt take what he said so seriously. Take things slow and easy, and just have fun for now. You should also be open and honest with him and just talk about what you want and expect. Eight dates is plenty of time for you now to have an "exclusivity and 'how serious are we?'" talk.

Edited March 7, 2012 by kaylan

[dasein]

Have seen dozens of OLD profiles where people are seeking a "playmate," "partner in crime," "Bonnie to my Clyde," "Gomez to my Morticia," all kinds of cutesy things that some might find offensive but are meant very casually, so wouldn't put too much stock in an unfortunate choice of words. Agree with others in that respect. Go by his actions. IMO it's just a term of "pre-affection, pre-endearment" that signals he is thinking of you in a GF way but doesn't want to get heavy... or not. Who knows though? NBD IMO.

[PlumPrincess]

"Playmate" for a woman who is not in an exclusive and trusting relationship is the same as "sugardaddy" to a man who is casually dating a woman (at least that's what a lot of men on LS make me believe).

 

"Partner in crime" is this trite term that people use to describe their idea of a partner.

 

"Playmate" is rarely chosen for that purpose. The term is either completely harmless (other children in a sandbox) or there is some sexual innuendo attached to it, which is fine, but maybe not the thing that a man would use if he wanted a serious relationship with a woman. Guys who emphasize the physical part in the beginning seem to be less interested in serious relationships.

Edited March 8, 2012 by PlumPrincess

[2sunny]

I see him asking for a weekend away as him asking for sex with you. Don't do that weekend (or sex) unless he fully commits to you and acts like he's taking it seriously.