Thinking of ending a friendship

[Axee]

I had a old acquaintance of mine and last year , he came to the same place I was living in (Say country xx), we had an amazing one week..We hit it off instantly.. he neglected all his friends and was with me all the time, we chatted till night 1, went around, shopped, it was a memorable week.. he went back after a week,

 

The very next day he called me (International call) .I too called him after 2 or 3 days..

So our calls were going on a regular basis(late night -lasting for 45 min or so),emails, and apart from few arguements on certain issues, everything was smooth. he really is a nice guy and a good friend of mine. This continued for 6 months or so, I was attracted to him , but I withold myself because I wasnt sure of myself..and thought he too isnt sure of himself..

 

But one fine day, i felt enough is enough and I proposed to him over email (felt shy ..(scared..?) to propose over phone or in person..But the catch here.. I didnt express my intensity.. rather I used the words "I like you"...(Maybe i too wasnt sure.. or scared of commitment?) ..

 

He called me the very same day and he said, (over phone).. lets see , I am always your friend but I dont think we are going in similar directions, you should explore other options...Ended with lets see what happens..(I was still hopeful and confused after this phone call)

 

So few days later, i reintiated the conversation over chat, and he reiterated that he does not see us being more than friends since 'our frequencies dont match'. It really confused me, the calls ?and the similar stuff which led me to think that he too loves me..

 

after that, now also we are in contact, the same way as earlier, but only difference is he has changed his mannerisms, more nicer and interested in my life.. and I have become more outgoing and less caring about what he thinks..

 

BUT NOW, slowly i am losing my patience with him.. I dont want to be in a place where I am going nowwhere and there are no signs also of it going anywhere..So i am thinking of breaking up this 'psedo-relationship' ..

Please advise, am I rushing things, or shall I continue the status-quo..

[twistluv]

I had this same thing too. we had a sch gathering n i know this guy from my sch, only we didnt talk much to each other last time. At the gathering we hit it off quite well. he took my number and pretty soon we were txting n calling each other everyday. just like u, things drag on and i was done with it so i told him too abt liking him. the guy responded like how ur guy said. he said was sry for giving me the wrong impression and "see how things go" i was like.. huh...?? but yet he still continues to call me everyday n giving me nick name n teasing me. doesnt make sense at all.

 

i have come to a conclusion that guys are just stupid -_- i dun like mind games and i certainly dun like being lead on.

 

well.. actually.. what i really feel is, they might like to get invlove with someone but they probably just dun want to commit seriously into a r/s.

 

im not sure how long me and this guy is going to go on. but im pretty sure that since he doesnt seems to be serious in going for a r/s, i 'll just treat him like a normal fren and look out for better guys out there

[Axee]

Yes, even I thought so myself.. but i am finding to very difficult to focus elsewhere.. Infact I recently met a great guy who also seems to be interested in me.. its very recent, but this friend of mine is playing at the back of mind..

I am finding it very difficult to continue the status quo..

I am thinking of going No contact but finding it very difficult to implement...

[rickys]

Yeah..you should move on. There is no hope seems in your relationship. This is nowhere and anywhere situation for you and a person can't live with a thought like this...

[Axee]

Ya, started No Contact with him.. difficult but its been 10 days i have maintained it.. he called me a couple of times, mailed me asking" wat happened all ok .." .. but I have kept my No contact.. Feeling numb, not really caring what happens..

[Axee]

Here's to all believers of No contact and setting boundaries..

 

Everything said about NC is absolutely correct !

 

I maintained strict No Contact (not because i wanted him , but because I wanted to move on ) 2 weeks later, his birthday , I broke No Contact because I am basically not such a person moreover I genuinely wanted to wish him..

 

So when I wished him, he asked me , why was I ignoring him...I stated clearly, that i cant be chatting with him for years together.. I need some movement but since he cant give me that, I want to focus on my life and so its best we dont remain in contact.. He became silent and silent..and he said, it just doesnt feel right.. I said, sorry.. but its ok, I really understand ur confusion .. but i cannot be with such a confused person right now..So , i really felt bad , but on his birthday we had 2 hrs phone discussion on this topic..

 

I felt the topic is over and was finally ready to move on. Next day he calls me.. I didnt pick,2 days later i msged , sorry i know u wanted to talk and i called him.. So after some general discussion, he said.. He really thought hard about what I said..and he too feels the same way..and if all goes well.. (family obstacles etc ), then we can get married.. I stopped him midway..a nd I said, I CANNOT be with a confused person like wat he said he was earlier.. he said, pls dont make a decsion and think about wat i said.. I said i need time..

 

2 days later I said ok.. Right now we are still behaving like friends.. guess both of us are comfortable with that.. !!

[KathyM]

You said you met some new guy that is interested in you. I'd suggest you go with that. This other guy lives in another country and is giving you mixed messages--doesn't sound like someone you should put your hopes on.