joshsmith8110 Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) Fiance is driving me up the wall with there nitpicking nagging ways. We are having a small wedding so I said at first they couldnt invite a few certain friends because immediate family only because I'm trying to keep the wedding small and not so expensive because if you invite them then you'll have to invite them and them etc. But I decided finally they could invite those friends and told them while we were talking on the phone that you know you can invite those friends you wanted to its no big deal. So I said maybe I'll invite a friend of mine and she said rudely what you going to do invite some random person? and i said no i'll invite maybe josh or kevin. To which she responds while laughing at me. Josh or Kevin? you barely even talk to those guys why you even going to invite them? I say no i talk to kevin when im at work and we hang out on occasion and josh i dont see him as much as i use to but he once was a really good friend and we talk on occasion. And she says talk on occasion whats that mean everything 3 months? So at this point in time i was getting pissed and said look im going to invite who i want and then we continued with our phone conversation. She always seems to do stuff like that...I'll say something and she will say something rude and then ask for details i'll give the details and she will continue to nitpick and nag those details and on and on and on and then i get super pissed off. Anyone got any ideas as to how to stop this behavior? Edited March 7, 2012 by joshsmith8110 Link to post Share on other sites
Black Jack Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Fiance is driving me up the wall with there nitpicking nagging ways. We are having a small wedding so I said at first they couldnt invite a few certain friends because immediate family only because I'm trying to keep the wedding small and not so expensive because if you invite them then you'll have to invite them and them etc. But I decided finally they could invite those friends and told them while we were talking on the phone that you know you can invite those friends you wanted to its no big deal. So I said maybe I'll invite a friend of mine and she said rudely what you going to do invite some random person? and i said no i'll invite maybe josh or kevin. To which she responds while laughing at me. Josh or Kevin? you barely even talk to those guys why you even going to invite them? I say no i talk to kevin when im at work and we hang out on occasion and josh i dont see him as much as i use to but he once was a really good friend and we talk on occasion. And she says talk on occasion whats that mean everything 3 months? So at this point in time i was getting pissed and said look im going to invite who i want and then we continued with our phone conversation. She always seems to do stuff like that...I'll say something and she will say something rude and then ask for details i'll give the details and she will continue to ne got any ideas as to how to stop this behavior?nitpick and nag my responses. Anyone got any ideas to stop this behavior? You can't control her mouth but I can tell you from experience being married, you'll have to put up with it from time to time. My ex wife used to whine and annoy me like my 12 year old black Labrador. If the nagging persists to the point where YOU cannot take it anymore, then I suggest you reconsider marrying her. But again there will be periods when she will annoy you. I know how you feel man. Try to ride it out to the finish line. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 The only way to "stop the nagging" is to throw the "harpy-carpy" back into the pond. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Mutual regard is the key. It doesnt sound like she has that. In fact quite the opposite. A guy friend of mine uses simple language...(since he says some people work off of one word statements). He'll simply and firmly say "STOP"..."LISTEN". and be redundant til he gets that persons full attention. If they continue to persist on the subject, he excuses himself. He is by no means controlling so much as he is showing patience and willing to "stand by" til the person gets a grip. Often when a person is in the mist of "nagging" they need a firmness and tolerance til there kettle stops blowing steam. Try to find a "common" truce or middle ground. I do have to say though that if this continues to the alter...you will have to alter your life immensely ...because you have the red flag going... Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Planning a wedding is stressful. To tell you the truth, what you have said it's all THAT bad. It's just bickering over the guest list! Bickering is going to happen in a relationship, it's how you deal with the bickering and resolve it that matters. I do think compromise is the best way to resolve issues like this, as well as in a marriage. Sit down and make a list of the "B list" people. Even though you are having a small wedding, a LOT of people will not come. Therefore you may be able to invite these people who aren't immediate family or exactly "close friends." Come up with a solution that works for BOTH of you. If you find her starting to nag or nitpick, you can take the initiate and say "okay how can we compromise on this to make us both happy?" If she ISN'T open to compromise and continues to nag and nitpick then the two of you need to have a talk about your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
sLiPpeTh Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Yeah, I'd toss her back in the pond. Socially undesirable behavior is "un-marriageable" material in my book. Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Naggers and nitpickers don't change. It's part of their personality. Do you really want to live this way in your marriage? Seriously consider what you're agreeing to, if you go through with your wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 She's showing you who she is. Believe her. Link to post Share on other sites
WolfLady Posted April 9, 2012 Share Posted April 9, 2012 Was she like this before you started planning the wedding? If no, I would write it off as pre-wedding jitters. If she has been like this for quite some time, I strongly suspect it's only going to get worse after you marry. Link to post Share on other sites
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