i don't know what happenedt to me???

[sari]

Hi,

 

i found out that my bf has one day affair with another woman

 

and had cybersex for a long time and he was searching always a new woman. i found all that and i asked him why he told that it doesn't mean anything...

 

and still he wants to be with me promising he will never do that again?? i realy don't know waht to do because it is realy to much for me..

[Tony T]

If it is too much for you, maybe you need to have some time away from him to sort out your feelings. I don't usually recommend people take time away from each other but in your case you have a good reason.

 

Whether or not this affiar or cybersex meant anything to him is not the question. It was done behind your back and he knew it would hurt you. I think you have to talk with him more to get to the bottom of exactly why he did those things.

 

It may take a very long time for you to restore you faith and trust in him, even if he gives you assurances he will be totally faithful forevermore.

 

I think there are a lot of guys, in committed dating relationships and married, who engage in this cybersex stuff. My hat's off to them because I just don't see how people can get satisfaction out of that stuff. It is highly insulting to their mates, for sure.

[Deejette]

I consider cybersex cheating. Often the sex partner across the wires becomes the ideal because they are not there with all the problems that come with a real flesh-and-blood relationship. People fall in love with the fantasy and don't want to tough it out through a true relationship.

 

Your boyfriend is looking for that woman who won't make any demands on him and doesn't bring her messy world into his life. But he is giving her the attention that he should be giving to you. So, if he doesn't stop this behavior, it might be time to move on and find someone who understands how hurtful this kind of behavior can be.

If it is too much for you, maybe you need to have some time away from him to sort out your feelings. I don't usually recommend people take time away from each other but in your case you have a good reason. Whether or not this affiar or cybersex meant anything to him is not the question. It was done behind your back and he knew it would hurt you. I think you have to talk with him more to get to the bottom of exactly why he did those things.

 

It may take a very long time for you to restore you faith and trust in him, even if he gives you assurances he will be totally faithful forevermore.

 

I think there are a lot of guys, in committed dating relationships and married, who engage in this cybersex stuff. My hat's off to them because I just don't see how people can get satisfaction out of that stuff. It is highly insulting to their mates, for sure.