Shy personality. Social phobia?

[water4150]

Ok so here's my issue...I suck at communicating!

 

When I'm talking to people they are the ones doing most of the talking. I feel as if I never have anything to say or I'm affraid that I will say the wrong thing or I feel as if they just don't care about what I have to say.

 

Even in class I don't participate for the same reasons above.

 

Don't get me wrong, I do talk but it takes a long time for me to open up to a new person. I spend more time observing them and how they act rather then contributing to the onversation.

 

FYI, I'm a nursing major so I'm always on the observing side.

 

I want to break past this shy barrier and fear. It'll benefit me in a new relationship (I'm 5 months post break up) and even with my future patients.

 

Please Help! Thank you

[Exit]

It isn't easy. I don't really see it as a "flaw", it's just the way some of us are wired. I used to be really quiet. Especially in the sense like you said, when it comes to meeting someone new, I don't open up right away. My last serious girlfriend, when we first started going out for coffee and hanging out, I just kinda sat there. Eventually we found some common ground in our past experiences and it gave me something to talk about. This is just how it goes when you're an introverted person, you don't walk around feeling like everyone should be interested about what's going on in your life. Look at it this way, I'd say it's better to be like this than to be the type of person who walks up to someone and starts flapping their gums and telling their life story while the other person looks for an excuse to end the conversation.

 

First, before you worry about communicating externally, you have some internal work to do. You need to erase those negative thoughts. Stop worrying that you're going to say something "wrong", or telling yourself that nobody cares about what you have to say. Who says what the other person has to say is all that interesting either? I'm sure people aren't sitting there telling you about scaling Mt. Everest. You just have to trust that if someone is talking to you and telling you about themselves, they are likewise interesting in hearing about you and what you have to say. So it sounds like you have a bit of self-esteem work to do first. Can you identify someone in your life who made you feel unimportant or didn't listen to you? At some point you may have gotten this idea in your head from the way someone treated you.

 

Then maybe you can start with people you already know and are comfortable with, just make more of an effort to talk, tell people about your day, tell people what's on your mind. Let yourself see that other people are interested in talking to you. Hell, you have no idea who I am, just some person on the internet, and I'm interested in helping you with this problem you're facing.

 

You could actually turn this aspect of yourself into something to talk about. Just be open with people, tell them it takes you time to open up, and maybe they will ask you why, or they will encourage you to talk to them. Either way, it'll lead to a conversation.

 

Like many things related to relationships, it's important to work on ourselves first before worrying about our interactions with other people. First YOU need to believe that you are interesting and important. Then you will slowly find the confidence to believe that other people want to hear from you.

 

Sorry that this advice is kind of vague, it's not a simple 1-2-3 process of steps you need to take. Maybe do some research about being introverted or take a personality test. It'll help you to learn about yourself, and maybe then you'll have an easier time knowing how you relate to others.

[water4150]

It isn't easy. I don't really see it as a "flaw", it's just the way some of us are wired. I used to be really quiet. Especially in the sense like you said, when it comes to meeting someone new, I don't open up right away. My last serious girlfriend, when we first started going out for coffee and hanging out, I just kinda sat there. Eventually we found some common ground in our past experiences and it gave me something to talk about. This is just how it goes when you're an introverted person, you don't walk around feeling like everyone should be interested about what's going on in your life. Look at it this way, I'd say it's better to be like this than to be the type of person who walks up to someone and starts flapping their gums and telling their life story while the other person looks for an excuse to end the conversation.

 

First, before you worry about communicating externally, you have some internal work to do. You need to erase those negative thoughts. Stop worrying that you're going to say something "wrong", or telling yourself that nobody cares about what you have to say. Who says what the other person has to say is all that interesting either? I'm sure people aren't sitting there telling you about scaling Mt. Everest. You just have to trust that if someone is talking to you and telling you about themselves, they are likewise interesting in hearing about you and what you have to say. So it sounds like you have a bit of self-esteem work to do first. Can you identify someone in your life who made you feel unimportant or didn't listen to you? At some point you may have gotten this idea in your head from the way someone treated you.

 

Then maybe you can start with people you already know and are comfortable with, just make more of an effort to talk, tell people about your day, tell people what's on your mind. Let yourself see that other people are interested in talking to you. Hell, you have no idea who I am, just some person on the internet, and I'm interested in helping you with this problem you're facing.

 

You could actually turn this aspect of yourself into something to talk about. Just be open with people, tell them it takes you time to open up, and maybe they will ask you why, or they will encourage you to talk to them. Either way, it'll lead to a conversation.

 

Like many things related to relationships, it's important to work on ourselves first before worrying about our interactions with other people. First YOU need to believe that you are interesting and important. Then you will slowly find the confidence to believe that other people want to hear from you.

 

Sorry that this advice is kind of vague, it's not a simple 1-2-3 process of steps you need to take. Maybe do some research about being introverted or take a personality test. It'll help you to learn about yourself, and maybe then you'll have an easier time knowing how you relate to others.

 

 

Thank you for your response. I understand everything you said and I have been trying to open up more. It's just very difficult.

 

I have been trying to read up on some stuff about my personality. I'm more of a listener than a talker you can say...

[Boo Radley]

I used to be shy and wouldnt talk just like you. Kind of in the background.

In fact, I used to stutter real bad. It was hard to talk.

 

Do you think funny things? Do you see funny things at work? People love humor and to laugh. Do you follow sports? Most guys love to talk sports. If you do, express your opinion. You know what else? More than a few folks like to talk about themselves if you ask them a question. Add what you think is relevant in the conversation.

 

I think I good exercise would be to strike up conversation with total strangers. Youll likely never see them again, so who cares? Some will want to talk and some wont, but the whole premise is to break down the fear of talking to people by talking to people.

[Feelin Frisky]

If you're "shy" there are two sensible things to do nowadays. One is the age old idea of throwing yourself into situations where you have to face your shyness so much that it seems to go away. The other is to see a doctor and experiment with an SSRI medication like Paxil for a while. Please do not think of that as taking a sedative to calm your nerves--it's not like that. Millions upon millions of people still sedate themselves--only with alcohol instead of a pill sedative and both alcohol and sedatives are "crutches" that don't do anything good for you and a lot bad. The SSRI medications however like Proazac and Paxil can help people gain an advantage over their gut feelings. I did not go on Prozac for that reason but I was amazed at how I lost all my shyness, butterflies in the stomach and blushing after a few weeks of taking the medicine for depression after a bad break-up. That was a long time ago and I don't need it any more. I did however learn somethings about how my body and mind work that no one could possibly teach me nor could I have ever figured out without the experience of the medicine. It's just for your information and I have no agenda to sell medicine. There are bad meds--one being alcohol--and there are some exactly precise meds that help shy people to out-think their fears. It's worth a try if nothing else is working for ya and you want to get ahead sooner rather than later (if at all).

[tornangel]

Well people honeslty dont notice us as much as we think they do. Think about this for a min.... There is a woman in the grocery store and u are talking to her.. All of a sudden she takes off running fast right out of the store.. U are probably gonna think she had an emergency she forgot about something, or whatever.. The LAST thing u will think of is she had a panic attack and just took off running. Also I think humor is a great guard for nervous shyness. I am not shy but was painfully shy during my speech class, I was sure my classmates could feel my heart pounding across the room. But I made everyone laugh and got an A. And I am pretty sure I was th emost nervous one in the class. So just try humor and let urself relax. And accept urself for as shy as u are , then when u dont have the expectations or judgement against urself that is when u will be okay to change... Because u will no longer care who thinks ur shy : )

[oldguy]

Are you able to communicate with patients, to ask questions? Also, do you have trouble in public speaking situations or just interpersonal?

 

I agree with "EXIT", it isn't particularly a flaw. Listening is the greater virtue.

"It is better sometimes to remain silent & thought of as the fool than to open ones mouth & remove all doubt" - probably Abraham Lincoln

[KathyM]

Shyness is a form of social phobia, and would be diagnosed as social phobia if your academic or social functioning is impaired because of it. If it's something you really want to improve upon, you could try seeking therapy, which would most likely involve challenging your irrational thoughts that make you feel inferior to others and therefore reluctant to be scrutinized by others, which results in your avoidance (by refusing to participate in class). The therapist would probably also give you homework assignments to expose yourself to more situations where you would have to meet other people and talk to other people and risk being scrutinized by others. Repeated exposure to the feared situation will gradually lessen your fears. So I would suggest counseling if you really want to improve on this, rather than medication. I know some people take Paxil or other drugs for that, but those might have side effects, like nausea, which you may not want to deal with.

[oldguy]

^

I definitely would NOT consider drugs first. That would be only a temporary consideration, IMO, otherwise medications may even mask an underlying issue such as mild depression or anxiety. In any event, If this is a major consern I agree with getting diagnosed. Also; medication is then a good option & can help ease your shyness & teach you to interact, but is generally more of a temporary aid.

 

Social anxiety disorder, social phobia vs. being shy - WebMD

Edited March 9, 2012 by oldguy

[water4150]

THANK YOU EVERYONE

 

I'm sorry I can't respond to every single comment but I did read them all and I'm glad there are people trying to give some advice.

 

I am very aware of SSRI drugs since I am a nursing major and I have NO intention on taking any form of drug at all. Especially since those drugs can have a high risk for addiction and they need to be carefully monitored when it comes to discontinuing the drug. Don't get me wrong, SSRI are really safe but it's not wise to take them. Also I'm a generally calm, laid back person so it would do more harm then good.

 

But anyway I want to try to talk to strangers. I thought about it and since I'm in the library all day for school work I want to approach people. Yes mostly girls I won't lie lol.

 

But...I just don't know how to start a conversation with a stranger. I don't have the guts to to approach them to begin with. And I don't want to seem like a "creep" or a "freak". Another problem I have is I tend to constantly look at the girl I would want to talk to and they catch me looking. Once they catch me I feel as if their thinking "that creep keeps looking at me".

 

I guess you can say it is social phobia since it does impair my social life but not my school work etc. I'm trying to use conversation techniques I am learning from my nursing classes and applying them to actual people but it feels as if they "become" my "patients".

 

I had no problem at all talking to my girlfriend...then she got up and left. 5 months I'm still dealing with the pain and it has gotten a little better.

 

I have been working out since and I gained 10lbs of muscle weight which did help boost up my confidence. But it is not enough.

 

And one more thing...I can't seek a therapist or psych right now becuase I don't have health insurance at the moment...Lovely isn't it...

[oldguy]

THANK YOU EVERYONE

 

I'm sorry I can't respond to every single comment but I did read them all and I'm glad there are people trying to give some advice.

 

I am very aware of SSRI drugs since I am a nursing major and I have NO intention on taking any form of drug at all. Especially since those drugs can have a high risk for addiction and they need to be carefully monitored when it comes to discontinuing the drug. Don't get me wrong, SSRI are really safe but it's not wise to take them. Also I'm a generally calm, laid back person so it would do more harm then good.

 

But anyway I want to try to talk to strangers. I thought about it and since I'm in the library all day for school work I want to approach people. Yes mostly girls I won't lie lol.

 

But...I just don't know how to start a conversation with a stranger. I don't have the guts to to approach them to begin with. And I don't want to seem like a "creep" or a "freak". Another problem I have is I tend to constantly look at the girl I would want to talk to and they catch me looking. Once they catch me I feel as if their thinking "that creep keeps looking at me".

 

I guess you can say it is social phobia since it does impair my social life but not my school work etc. I'm trying to use conversation techniques I am learning from my nursing classes and applying them to actual people but it feels as if they "become" my "patients".

 

I had no problem at all talking to my girlfriend...then she got up and left. 5 months I'm still dealing with the pain and it has gotten a little better.

 

I have been working out since and I gained 10lbs of muscle weight which did help boost up my confidence. But it is not enough.

 

And one more thing...I can't seek a therapist or psych right now becuase I don't have health insurance at the moment...Lovely isn't it...

You may be taking to much to the table. That is; you may be over thinking it, especially in your concerns about what they are thinking of you. Group therapy could be VERY beneficial there.

 

As far as being uncomfortable with where to look or being afraid of starring; Eye contact is the best focal point... um, when your watching TV or a movie, notice where two people who are just talking look & more importantly when they glance away. You are probably doing just fine as long as you remember to blink now & then, listen actively & smile or frown appropriately. Soon it will be a habit.

 

You might want to consider a public speaking class also.

 

I use to use the analogy that conversation was a lot like a tennis match but the theory was much too involved to express here. So I Googled it & to my surprise found this. It may be of some help; Tennis and the Art of Conversation

[Boo Radley]

THANK YOU EVERYONE

 

I'm sorry I can't respond to every single comment but I did read them all and I'm glad there are people trying to give some advice.

 

I am very aware of SSRI drugs since I am a nursing major and I have NO intention on taking any form of drug at all. Especially since those drugs can have a high risk for addiction and they need to be carefully monitored when it comes to discontinuing the drug. Don't get me wrong, SSRI are really safe but it's not wise to take them. Also I'm a generally calm, laid back person so it would do more harm then good.

 

I think thats wise and should be the last resort IMO.

 

But anyway I want to try to talk to strangers. I thought about it and since I'm in the library all day for school work I want to approach people. Yes mostly girls I won't lie lol.

People are pretty much the same. Everyone has fears and problems.

 

But...I just don't know how to start a conversation with a stranger. I don't have the guts to to approach them to begin with.

If they make eye contact and smile just relax and do it. You will probably never see these people again.

 

Just say to yourself this week or month, I will approach 1 stranger per day and start up a conversation. If they make eye contact with you say "hello, how are you today." Smile, speak about positive things: "This is a nice store. The weather has been beautiful." Share a place where you got a good deal.

 

Ask a question to an older lady in the grocery store about a product. For example: Lets say youre making lasagna and youd like to know if youve got the right cheese or pasta.

 

Each day build on the last. If the conversation is 1 minute or 30 minutes it doesnt matter. Youre out there gaining experience. Experiment with different opening lines to see whats most effective.

 

And I don't want to seem like a "creep" or a "freak". Another problem I have is I tend to constantly look at the girl I would want to talk to and they catch me looking. Once they catch me I feel as if their thinking "that creep keeps looking at me".

Women like being checked out. It affirms that theyre attractive.

 

Just smile if they see you looking and turn away for awhile.

 

I guess you can say it is social phobia since it does impair my social life but not my school work etc. I'm trying to use conversation techniques I am learning from my nursing classes and applying them to actual people but it feels as if they "become" my "patients".

 

I had no problem at all talking to my girlfriend...then she got up and left. 5 months I'm still dealing with the pain and it has gotten a little better.

Use the pain to improve.

 

I have been working out since and I gained 10lbs of muscle weight which did help boost up my confidence. But it is not enough.

Good, keep lifting weights.

 

Perfect analogy. You build muscle by lifting a little more weight each workout. When you began, you likely could not lift the weight that your lifting today.

 

So, we want to build social muscles. Slowly, day by day, week by week. The same as working out.

 

And one more thing...I can't seek a therapist or psych right now becuase I don't have health insurance at the moment...Lovely isn't it...

Some have a sliding fee scale. Do they have a therapist at your school? Edited March 9, 2012 by Boo Radley

[KathyM]

If you aren't participating in class, then your shyness IS impairing your academic functioning. If you aren't approaching people you are interested in, then your shyness IS impairing your social functioning. You may want to check into counselors who charge on a sliding fee scale. Many of them do offer a sliding fee scale, and you may find that very affordable out-of-pocket, and would not need insurance to pay for it. That would be my recommendation. Also, if you are in school, I'm sure there are school counselors that also offer more than academic counseling, and they probably don't charge anything for students who see them. I also like the idea that Oldguy said about group therapy. Then you can practice approaching people, especially girls, and making conversation. They often do a lot of role playing there, so I do think that would be helpful. I think you should try to stop worrying about what other people think and start doing what you want to do, which is to approach women and start up a conversation.

[Feliciti]

Never been good at talking with anyone but children, myself.

 

Therapist never seems to work though. They can't really do much else than say "you're closing your doors" or "You don't try what I'm suggesting", and generally just manage to make you feel worse than you did before you entered the door to their office. All they can do, is prescribe medicine, which I'm very much opposed of, like you said yourself as well. Seriously, I've tried 2 different people now, 2 times each, and they are both incompetent. I may just be unlucky, but I've kind of just given up, and accepted it. It's not so bad anyway, never understood the point in speaking to strangers in the first place.

 

If you can buy what you need, and communicate with those that matters, why bother with the rest?

[water4150]

Everything sounds like a good idea. It's something I do want to fix but its breaking the ice that is the most difficult.

 

It's the initial approach that worries me and I'm not one to lead a conversation. I also feel as if I have nothing to say during midway into the convo.

 

Don't get me wrong, i'm not a complete loner or anything. I have my group of friends and a lot of people do know me from school. But I'm just a very silent person.

 

I don't see it as affecting my school in a negative way. Not many people participate anyway either lol.

 

And you guys are right. I do care more about what other people have to think/say about me and I'm alwaything think that it's something negative.

 

Also, I have feel that the way I was raised as a child has impacted my social skills. My parents were always the "don't talk unless you're spoken to". I do have a brother but he is 9 years older so there is kind of an age gap that could have "isolated" me .

 

As for the fee...I kind of have a low paying job since I am in school and working 1 or 2 times a day. I have been thinking hard about this as you can see and I figured this would be the best place to get some help.

 

Does anybody have any good "starting lines" or suggestions to say about starting a conversation with a stranger. I do like the wheather idea and talking/asking a stranger in the super market. I will try it

 

And thanks again everyone, I appreciate all the help!

[KathyM]

Never been good at talking with anyone but children, myself.

 

Therapist never seems to work though. They can't really do much else than say "you're closing your doors" or "You don't try what I'm suggesting", and generally just manage to make you feel worse than you did before you entered the door to their office. All they can do, is prescribe medicine, which I'm very much opposed of, like you said yourself as well. Seriously, I've tried 2 different people now, 2 times each, and they are both incompetent. I may just be unlucky, but I've kind of just given up, and accepted it. It's not so bad anyway, never understood the point in speaking to strangers in the first place.

 

If you can buy what you need, and communicate with those that matters, why bother with the rest?

Therapists are limited by the client himself. If a client refuses to do the "homework" or work with the therapist on resolving his problems, and just puts up resistance, the therapist is not going to be very helpful. Therapy often works for people who truly want to change, are willing to accept the treatment plan, and willing to do the work necessary to make changes in their life. The therapist is not some miracle worker who can change people on their own. It is the person that changes himself. The therapist is just the catalyst that guides the person in the right direction. While I would agree with you that some therapists are too quick to prescribe medicine and think that is a cure all, without doing the necessary work that needs to be done, there are a lot of quality therapists out there that will provide quality psychotherapy as an alternative to or in conjunction with medication. But you have to be willing to do the work and follow the therapist's suggestions on how to go about beginning to change. If you're not going to cooperate with the treatment plan or the therapist's recommendations, you really can't blame them if no progress is made.

[oldguy]

Never been good at talking with anyone but children, myself.

 

All they can do, is prescribe medicine, which I'm very much opposed of, like you said yourself as well. Seriously, I've tried 2 different people now, 2 times each, and they are both incompetent. I may just be unlucky, but I've kind of just given up, and accepted it. It's not so bad anyway, never understood the point in speaking to strangers in the first place.

 

If you can buy what you need, and communicate with those that matters, why bother with the rest?

 

Therapist never seems to work though. They can't really do much else than say "you're closing your doors" or "You don't try what I'm suggesting", and generally just manage to make you feel worse than you did before you entered the door to their office.

 

A therapist can NOT change anyone, only people can change themselves. If someone simply attends a meeting at a therapists office & does not employ the therapists suggestions everyone is wasting their time.

The reason one may feel worse is their expectations where not met, especially if they think their only roll in counselling is to simply show up. If you attend university with the expectation that one will have knowledge simply dumped into their heads, they will be sorrowfully disappointed also. Therapists DO not make people feel worse or bad, people do that to themselves.

 

It's true that some are better match than others & just like finding a doctor or even a barber the responsibility to find one that can help & more importantly to work WITH them to help, lies with each of us. We all complain about taking medication, myself included, but yet many want a therapist to wave a magic wand & cure them. Well, we are not psychics nor are we faith healers. Also, if you go to 2 dentists with a toothache & it still hurts are you going to just stop there. Or are you finally going to take their advice and open your mouth so they can work on it.?

 

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One–but the light bulb has to really want to change.

 

Also, therapist better not be prescribing drugs, only psychiatrists can do that in the U.S. anyway. (and of course medical doctors).

 

Are you even listening to what your saying!?; "They can't really do much else than say "you're closing your doors" or "You don't try what I'm suggesting". What do you WANT them to do, FORCE poor little ol' you to get better!?

Edited March 9, 2012 by oldguy

[water4150]

Although valid points are being made...please don't turn this thread into an argument.

 

I'm the one trying to get help here...not to start a fight between so and so about this and that..

[oldguy]

Although valid points are being made...please don't turn this thread into an argument.

 

I'm the one trying to get help here...not to start a fight between so and so about this and that..

so sorry, I guess a nerve was struck that the anonymity of LS allowed me to finally vent about.

Your right, I apologies, but it did feel good:lmao:

[water4150]

so sorry, I guess a nerve was struck that the anonymity of LS allowed me to finally vent about.

Your right, I apologies, but it did feel good:lmao:

 

 

It happens to the best of us...I till have some built up anger I want to get out.

 

I also still compare new girls to my ex. Its bad and thats another reason why I have trouble. I compare them before getting to know them and if I don't like the comparisons...I don't approach them at all. And I know its a bad thing to do but but I just can't help it sometimes...

[oldguy]

It happens to the best of us...I till have some built up anger I want to get out.

Well, the problem with the written word is that it is up to the interpretation of the reader. In that post I realize how easily it can & will be read as anger. It was written more out of a sense of frustration than actual anger. However I'm aware of this, which is why I usually use so many emoicons, so I must own it & should have been more cognizant of my remarks.

 

I also still compare new girls to my ex. Its bad and thats another reason why I have trouble. I compare them before getting to know them and if I don't like the comparisons...I don't approach them at all. And I know its a bad thing to do but but I just can't help it sometimes...

It sounds like you have not experienced all of the stages of loss. Is it that you have not had enough time or is there a reason your not allowing yourself too?

Edited March 9, 2012 by oldguy

[Feelin Frisky]

THANK YOU EVERYONE

 

I'm sorry I can't respond to every single comment but I did read them all and I'm glad there are people trying to give some advice.

 

I am very aware of SSRI drugs since I am a nursing major and I have NO intention on taking any form of drug at all. Especially since those drugs can have a high risk for addiction and they need to be carefully monitored when it comes to discontinuing the drug. Don't get me wrong, SSRI are really safe but it's not wise to take them. Also I'm a generally calm, laid back person so it would do more harm then good.

 

But anyway I want to try to talk to strangers. I thought about it and since I'm in the library all day for school work I want to approach people. Yes mostly girls I won't lie lol.

 

But...I just don't know how to start a conversation with a stranger. I don't have the guts to to approach them to begin with. And I don't want to seem like a "creep" or a "freak". Another problem I have is I tend to constantly look at the girl I would want to talk to and they catch me looking. Once they catch me I feel as if their thinking "that creep keeps looking at me".

 

I guess you can say it is social phobia since it does impair my social life but not my school work etc. I'm trying to use conversation techniques I am learning from my nursing classes and applying them to actual people but it feels as if they "become" my "patients".

 

I had no problem at all talking to my girlfriend...then she got up and left. 5 months I'm still dealing with the pain and it has gotten a little better.

 

I have been working out since and I gained 10lbs of muscle weight which did help boost up my confidence. But it is not enough.

 

And one more thing...I can't seek a therapist or psych right now becuase I don't have health insurance at the moment...Lovely isn't it...

 

If you're intending to be a nurse you should know that SSRI's have no addictive properties. They do not "medicate" the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM and that is a key distinction that you should professionally be making much less whether you'll try an SSRI yourself or not. Every addictive drug makes it impact felt directly on the CNS (central nervous system)--benzodiazapines like Valium and Xanax, opiates, alcohol, speed, cocaine, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. SSRI's work "upstream" from there and don't involve your CNS--they adjust your neurotransmitters to make your brain closer to being a fine-tuned engine rather than one with dirty spark plugs or wet wires. That's why they are said to have "no abuse potential". They of course do have abuse potential but only in taking them against prescribed measures or not speaking up if the one you are preribed is actually making you worse or suicidal. The simple fact though is that there are ways to try these meds safely with almost no risk and definitely NO RISK OF ADDICTTION. And they are working obviously because they are a billion dollar industry in which no one is being treated for addiction to Paxil or Cymbalta. Misinformation is not a good thing in the health care profession as well as here on the forum.

[oldguy]

If you're intending to be a nurse you should know that SSRI's have no addictive properties. They do not "medicate" the CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM and that is a key distinction that you should professionally be making much less whether you'll try an SSRI yourself or not. Every addictive drug makes it impact felt directly on the CNS (central nervous system)--benzodiazapines like Valium and Xanax, opiates, alcohol, speed, cocaine, DRUGS AND ALCOHOL. SSRI's work "upstream" from there and don't involve your CNS--they adjust your neurotransmitters to make your brain closer to being a fine-tuned engine rather than one with dirty spark plugs or wet wires. That's why they are said to have "no abuse potential". They of course do have abuse potential but only in taking them against prescribed measures or not speaking up if the one you are preribed is actually making you worse or suicidal. The simple fact though is that there are ways to try these meds safely with almost no risk and definitely NO RISK OF ADDICTTION. And they are working obviously because they are a billion dollar industry in which no one is being treated for addiction to Paxil or Cymbalta. Misinformation is not a good thing in the health care profession as well as here on the forum.

I love the analogy to dirty spark plugs & wet wires. That is very good in fact. My personal belief is that they are a great band-aid or crutch while one gets their issues sorted out & have saved countless lives in fact. The only concern I have is that many contemporaries have declared patients healed when the symptoms are alleviated rather than find the root cause if it is psychological. Also, they all have side effects & although these are generally mild, especially when compared to many of the conditions they do alleviate there still synthetic. I'm interested in what you think of this though.

[water4150]

So I made a mistake with the SSRI miss-worded that sentence. I'll reread up on it again my mistake.

 

But I'm still NOT resulting to drugs.

 

And nobody should be referring or advising drugs over a forum it's unsafe practice even if they are one of the safest drugs.

 

If my body doesn't need it, then there's no need to take it even if it will help "jumpstart" to solving the situation.

 

I know the root cause of my situation, I know my issues.

 

I'm mostly looking for stepping stones to break the shy barrier. Things to say. How to approach a conversation. How to carry the conversation etc. I'm not looking medical advice or drug advice...I have enough resources to educate myself and have a lot of that to come.

[oldguy]

And nobody should be referring or advising drugs over a forum it's unsafe practice even if they are one of the safest drugs.

I don't believe anyone is & I agree. If I thought medication might be a good "temporary" relief I naturally had to refer a client & even when it came to supplements I had to be very careful how I worded things. I was instructed by our legal reps to phrase things like; "if it where me I might consult a homeopath or nutritionist". No one except a personal physician or as I pointed out earlier, a psychiatrist can prescribe.

 

If my body doesn't need it, then there's no need to take it even if it will help "jumpstart" to solving the situation.

One good reason to take medication is to temporarily relieve symptoms. A friend & physician I know wisely says that sometimes the best thing a doctor can do for their patients is to keep them alive & comfortable long enough so they can heal.

 

I'm mostly looking for stepping stones to break the shy barrier. Things to say. How to approach a conversation. How to carry the conversation etc. I'm not looking medical advice or drug advice...I have enough resources to educate myself and have a lot of that to come.

You sound like a prime candidate for individual & probably some group seasons.