JoeyHurting81 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I'll try to make my back story short because its in my previous threads. Been separated for 7 months now. I'm not ready to give up on my marriage yet. My wife, however, seems like she doesn't know what the he!! she wants. I'll admit that I have put the screws to her at times to make a decision. That's my fault. I realize this now. About 3 weeks ago, she asked me to give her a week of no contact, that she was going to do some serious soul searching. I gave her what she asked for. On the 7th day she sends me a text, A TEXT!!, saying that she can not be my wife anymore. This past Monday I went to the apartment (I'm not staying there) to pack some of my stuff. She cried the whole time I was there. She even came up to me crying a couple times crying to stop me from packing just for me to hold her. I called her Tuesday to see when I could come back to get the rest of my stuff, things that we have to go through together. She basically blew that idea off. The next day she calls me to ask me directions to a restaurant that she passes at least once a week. She knows how to get there. I told her if she doesn't want to be with me she can't keep calling for little favors. Maybe it was just an excuse to call me. But I haven't heard from her since. That was two days ago. Maybe she's just mad, but even though we're seperated, it's not like her to go a day or two without calling me. But I don't understand why, if she doesn't want to b married any more, why SHE won't end it. She knows I'm not going to because I still have a bit of hope that we can work things out. Sure she said she couldn't be my wife two weeks ago. But sh also said that 7 months ago. I have done a good job not to contact her, but I'm also not going to ignore her if she calls me. I'm very confused and starting to feel like its hopeless. In the past 7 months I've done alot of work on myself, both individually and ways to be a better husband. Should I just continue working on myself and let her eventually make the final call, or should I call her bluff and get the divorce process started? Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Speaking from my own experience... if she really, really loved you and wanted to be with you, she wouldn't have let 7 months slip by. Nobody does that if they truly want to be with someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyHurting81 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 I see your point. However, at first I didn't agree with the separation. But because of it, I have made some positive changes to myself. I'm getting to the point though that I'm ready to move forward with or without her. But I'm kinda stuck in limbo because it still seems like she isn't able to make a decision yet as to what she really wants. I'm wondering, has she not went through with a divorce because she's not really ready to give up, or is it because she doesn't care when or if it EVER happens? Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 You can't read her mind, bro. Whatever mental agonizing she's doing (or not doing!) isn't up to you to figure out or weigh. She has to do it. And in the meantime, you have to makes choices. But because of it, I have made some positive changes to myself. I'm getting to the point though that I'm ready to move forward with or without her. And you have to weigh that for yourself, not in relation to what she's thinking or not thinking. Trust me, I spent 2011 imagining all the stuff I presumed was running through my stbx's head. Looking back, it was a complete waste of time and I tormented myself more than I should've. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JoeyHurting81 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 Oh I know all about the tormenting myself thing. But I try to not wonder what she's thinking. I'm just wondering why if this is what she really wants, why she won't be an adult about this and just come right out and get it over with? I'm not going to. At least not yet. This is what she asked for so I'm still at the point where if she wants a divorce, I'm gonna make her be the "bad guy" an file. I try to tell myself to be cool and keep making the positive changes. It's a little overwhelming at times though. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 of course it's overwhelming! just brace yourself for when/if she does file. then you're likely going to see a complete different side of her that might shock you. Link to post Share on other sites
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