yolatanga Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I told my story before. I was over the moon about a friend and we started hooking up. We spent a lot of time together, but was constantly messing with my head. He wanted me, did not want me..game. We stopped the sex and decided our friendship was more important or so I was lead to believe. I wanted a bf, not just a sex buddy. We went to a party together in December. Had a great time. He went away for the holidays, no biggy. I never, ever heard from him again. Not even Merry Xmas. I had no clue he was ignoring me. I can't seem to get over it. I've tried to talk to him, nothing. We live in the same place and I have to see him. He just stares at me. He comes to where I hang out. Will sit two seats away from me, no acknowledge. I'm so hurt and can't seem to get past it. Now we are both on match (odd since he claims to not want to be in a relationship) and we get matched. I made light of him checking out my profile and again, nothing. There is a place he knows I go to. I brought him there myself. Guess what he did? He brought one of his match dates. What the heck? I was livid. I don't understand why is this man purposely trying to hurt me? It's like he's trying to get back at me. For what? He did not want me. I was doing so well and this lack of respect. I was so mad the next day I called (mistake I know) and said if he ever did that again, I'd warn his next victim of what he's really like right in front of him. What is wrong with me? Why do I let this giant jerk and liar get to me soo? Link to post Share on other sites
ditzchic Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 The liars and the jerks are the ones that get to us the most because we are upset at ourselves that we let someone so lowdown get to us. If he was a nice normal decent person, the rejection wouldn't hurt half as bad. It's like you weren't only rejected but you were deceived and you fell for it hook line and sinker. That's the part that hurts the most. Just give it time. The feelings will go away eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 He isn't trying to purposely hurt you. His life doesn't revolve around you. Get over yourself. He probably just liked the place where you brought him, and decided to bring his date there as well. Do you expect him to avoid your entire city in case he might run into you? It sucks that things didn't work out, but you're making it worse by overthinking it. Just fogettaboudit. Link to post Share on other sites
Tybalt Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I'm sorry you're having this experience. He is behaving in an inconsiderate and insensitive manner. If I were you, I'd make every effort to avoid him as completely as possible for awhile. No more contact whatsoever. Give yourself more time to heal. This is someone who has little basic consideration for other people's feelings. If you did nothing to precipitate his cold responses, I doubt he is making that much of an effort to hurt you, you may just be collateral damage as he lives his self-centered merry life. I'd also "fake it til you make it." He might get an ego stroke knowing he can get to you and that you still care for him. I'd use my best acting skills and show an impervious face. Don't act sad, or upset, or threaten him. Move on yourself, date others and take them whatever places you like. I'll bet if you meet a guy you really click with, who makes no bones about wanting to date you and be in your life, whatever attraction you have to this guy will fade fast. In short, this guy deserves no more free rent space in your head... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yolatanga Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 He isn't trying to purposely hurt you. His life doesn't revolve around you. Get over yourself. He probably just liked the place where you brought him, and decided to bring his date there as well. Do you expect him to avoid your entire city in case he might run into you? It sucks that things didn't work out, but you're making it worse by overthinking it. Just fogettaboudit. Ok, I'll go to where he goes, which I never do and bring a guy. See how he likes it. The guy is a spiteful putz. Yeah that's great. Take your date to a place that my uncle owns. Good grief! It's not near where we live. Link to post Share on other sites
Eddie Edirol Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Ok, I'll go to where he goes, which I never do and bring a guy. See how he likes it. The guy is a spiteful putz. Yeah that's great. Take your date to a place that my uncle owns. Good grief! It's not near where we live. Hes doing you a favor. In a cowardly way, but by ignoring you and taking a date to your uncles place, hes trying to tell you to MOVE ON and stop contacting him. Because youre so obsessed with him, if he just disappeared, you would still be trying to contact him when he wants nothing to do with you, so he has to go the harsh route. He tried to give you the hint by ignoring you, and you ignored the hint. It sounds like if hespelled it out to you that it was over, you would still be calling him. So what else is he supposed to do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yolatanga Posted March 9, 2012 Author Share Posted March 9, 2012 I'm sorry you're having this experience. He is behaving in an inconsiderate and insensitive manner. If I were you, I'd make every effort to avoid him as completely as possible for awhile. No more contact whatsoever. Give yourself more time to heal. This is someone who has little basic consideration for other people's feelings. If you did nothing to precipitate his cold responses, I doubt he is making that much of an effort to hurt you, you may just be collateral damage as he lives his self-centered merry life. I'd also "fake it til you make it." He might get an ego stroke knowing he can get to you and that you still care for him. I'd use my best acting skills and show an impervious face. Don't act sad, or upset, or threaten him. Move on yourself, date others and take them whatever places you like. I'll bet if you meet a guy you really click with, who makes no bones about wanting to date you and be in your life, whatever attraction you have to this guy will fade fast. In short, this guy deserves no more free rent space in your head...Thanks. I need that advice. I have been avoiding him. That's why I go far away to hang out. Come to find out that is the 3rd girl he's brought there in front of my friends and family. That's just beyond not cool. Link to post Share on other sites
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Ok, I'll go to where he goes, which I never do and bring a guy. See how he likes it. The guy is a spiteful putz. Yeah that's great. Take your date to a place that my uncle owns. Good grief! It's not near where we live. Don't let it get to you babe. You are giving him what he wants by getting frustrated about it. Just look hot, act like you don't give a crap, and like another poster said, fake it 'til you make it. There IS a positive side to this however. The fact that he is doing this means you are still on his mind, and he gets off by seeing you react the way you are reacting right now. Don't give it to him and watch how the tables turn Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 I told my story before. I was over the moon about a friend and we started hooking up. We spent a lot of time together, but was constantly messing with my head. He wanted me, did not want me..game. We stopped the sex and decided our friendship was more important or so I was lead to believe. I wanted a bf, not just a sex buddy. We went to a party together in December. Had a great time. He went away for the holidays, no biggy. I never, ever heard from him again. Not even Merry Xmas. I had no clue he was ignoring me. I can't seem to get over it. I've tried to talk to him, nothing. We live in the same place and I have to see him. He just stares at me. He comes to where I hang out. Will sit two seats away from me, no acknowledge. I'm so hurt and can't seem to get past it. Now we are both on match (odd since he claims to not want to be in a relationship) and we get matched. I made light of him checking out my profile and again, nothing. There is a place he knows I go to. I brought him there myself. Guess what he did? He brought one of his match dates. What the heck? I was livid. I don't understand why is this man purposely trying to hurt me? It's like he's trying to get back at me. For what? He did not want me. I was doing so well and this lack of respect. I was so mad the next day I called (mistake I know) and said if he ever did that again, I'd warn his next victim of what he's really like right in front of him. What is wrong with me? Why do I let this giant jerk and liar get to me soo? I have been there. Some people are just so self-absorbed that they do not think how their actions hurt others. Either that or they just don't care. It makes you upset b/c you gave him your heart on a silver platter and it meant nothing to him. But don't define your self-worth by this guy. As far as being at that place you invited him to, he probably did that b/c it was a fun spot and he could impress the date. A lot of guys will do that if they don't have much of a romantic imagination. They will use the same places, same ideas on each new girl they meet. Why re-invent the wheel right? In this case, he figured this would make a good impression on the girl b/c it was something you considered fun. A lot of men will say about anything to get sex. Some men will manipulate you emotionally and make you believe you will have a chance for something more if you give them sex. But once you give it; that's it. There's no more mystery about a woman. There's nothing more to "conquer". It's your ace card. Don't let this guy make you bitter, but just recognize that waiting is a good way to find out if the guy is sincere or just a player. Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Girl. I have followed your threads, and I really need you to get a grip! I say this with love. You and this guy were never really friends. You were never dating. He told you from the start he didn't want anything serious with you. You got caught up, and that's understandable... we've all been there. But at some point you have to stop blaming him. He isn't wrong for not wanting to be with you or for deciding not to fake a friendship. If anything, he's done you a favor by ignoring you - there's no way you could be "friends" with him and maintain your sanity. You're too attached. And he knows it, which is why he has distanced himself from you. As for him going to the place you took him, is it not a public place? He probably liked it and went back. If I'm dating someone and they take me somewhere cool, I will absolutely go back even if we stop dating. Why wouldn't I? In this case, you guys were never even together. He has every right to go where he wants, with who he wants. Odds are very low that he did it to hurt you or that he was even thinking about you at all. He has moved on with his life, and you should do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
snowflakes88 Posted March 9, 2012 Share Posted March 9, 2012 Ok, I'll go to where he goes, which I never do and bring a guy. See how he likes it. The difference is that he won't care, honey. He was never into you for more than sex and didn't pretend to be. I know that sucks, but you have got to accept it and move on. You're treating this like you two were in a relationship when you were never even close to dating. Link to post Share on other sites
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