tingleface Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Soooo a little on the confuzzled side here and a little in limbo and pretty much just lookng for some unbiased advice and thoughts etc! Ive been with my lady now for 18 months..i absolutely doet on her and i love her to pieces. Lately things have been poo and at times shes said her feelings for me are changing. Ive been cheated on in the past and been hurt big style and i have insecurities as much as the next person. My lady has been texting another lady who she works with for a few months now..it started off as just sending jokes to each other but now they both txt constantly every day and night. This lady is supposedly straight..shes 47 and has children with her husband who she lives with. I keep questioning the relationship between them both becsause theyve become very close and are both very into txtin each other all of the time despite how it makes me feel. Dont get me wrong im not a bunny boiler but i deserve some attention too..shes my fiancee! Anyhowwww things got heated cause i got anoyed at the textin and my lasdy temporarily has moved out of our home to get soem space from us and to think abotu things, were still speaking and seeing each other every day. My lady disclosed to me the other night after me bangin on at her that this lady she works with has text her saying she feels more than friendship..i asked what shed said to which she answered that all shed replied woth was "you cant help your feelings" Obviously this changes the situation big style and my gf has stated that she wont be distancing herself desdpite knowing this..i questioned her feelings for this person to which she jjst keeps telling me that she feels nothng more than friendship...debateable id say.. I wrote her a long letter yesterday spilling out my heart and telling everythin i felt n thought...as soon as she read it she text me sayin how she loved me so much and wanted me etc etc..We spent some time togetehr last night and iot was great...i see her today n ask if shed spoken to thge person from work n she said theyd been texting last nigth after she got basck to where shes staying...Am i being taken for an absolute fool here...she says she wants me n wants to be with me but wont give up this person for the sake of our relationship...its driving me crazy and im just getting no answers...what dya rekon??? Link to post Share on other sites
Raya1234 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I think you are fair to question the relationship. Tell me, why does she need this friendship? Especially if the other party has feelings? This is inappropriate and is clearly hurting you. It may even be a point dissent that causes you to break up. I think you have to continue communicating the way you feel, honestly, and demand she see the disrespect in the interaction. This is the only thing you can do. We all have trouble and try to find the line in which we are not the doormat nor the paranoid psycho. I would never want to do anything to hurt my partner in this regard but I would see a certain point in which if it really was innocent, how he could start to come off as crazy and insecure. It is really difficult to know what things mean sometimes, but a fair, logical and calm approach of your true feelings toward the matter is best! Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Tingleface, Your wife should be your best friend. During your engagement, the matters for marriage should be set out now. Some of these matters does not concern the husband to be. Nevertheless, there should be a 15 -25 hour/week program that keeps you together. After the honeymoon, you may be cheerful that she has got a friend to talk to while you are in your man cave. Make sure that this lady is on the side of good marriages else drop her and the fiance. I recommend that you read the articles at marriagebuilders as well as the five languages of love by Gary Chapman. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tingleface Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 sorry should have probably made it clear im a gay woman and so is my partner..the woman shes txting is supposedly straight Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hmm, The word fiancee is very confusing. I am not a fan of homosexuality. Any advice that I give you will definitely be flavoured. I do wish you joy in a healthy relationship. May I recommend my friend Jesus Christ. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hmm, The word fiancee is very confusing. I am not a fan of homosexuality. Any advice that I give you will definitely be flavoured. I do wish you joy in a healthy relationship. May I recommend my friend Jesus Christ. Fiancée is not confusing at all. it's the feminine version of "the one to whom i am romantically and intimately committed" And having clearly stated she's not into guys, i doubt she will take your offer up... The problem lies with you, not the OP..... tingleface, it really wouldn't matter at all, what anybody's sexual persuasion is - such an intense connection with a third party, that is pretty much all-consuming, is highly questionable, to say the least.... If this disturbs you, then you could, at a push, ask to meet her. It's always far more difficult to engineer infidelity - physical or emotional - if everybody knows everybody. woman to woman - you may well impress upon her how much this is hurting you, how threatening it feels, and how you'd appreciate it if she eased off... Does this woman realise your partner is a lesbian? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts