xztjohn Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 we broke upfor 5 months now where the last two months i have been ignoring her breadcrumbs. she texts me small things like i hope you are doing well, i hope you are happy etc... i get unknown calls from time to time to so i just ignore it all. how long does this continue? i feel like responding to her mext time she texts me or calls. would that be a good or bad idea? Link to post Share on other sites
mymission Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 I've learnt that it just takes you back to the start of your recovery. If you get rejected you'll end up at day 1. But if you want her back you could try. Rejection is the risk, its a high risk, but I personally would rather try than not. Link to post Share on other sites
Numb79 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 No contact is usually indefinite. Or at least until she states that she wants the relationship back or when there are no more romantic feelings on your end. Rejection will take you back to square one..... As far as trying goes, well..... do you feel you have already tried? Keep in mind that you can try all you want but it takes two people to make a relationship. If you feel that you have already put out an effort then I suggest you let the relationship go. It will be a tough road ahead of you but you will make it through. Best of Luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 My ex. dumped me for her ex. 7 months ago and I went N.C. believing I'd never hear from her again. I did my best to move on and put it behind me but deep down I was hoping to hear from her someday. Just as I was pretty much over her and the pain was gone she contacts me several times. It set me back...brought back all the good times we shared as well as all the hurt and pain from losing her. I would of hoped for me and everyone else here that if they do contact you down the road it's an attempt to get back together....then you can decide if you want to or not and not just a "contact' to dump their guilt or just to say hi without any desire to try it again. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 well mine is going on for 14 months and counting , its always an excuse for her to try and reach out, so I guess depends on the woman/man Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 we broke upfor 5 months now where the last two months i have been ignoring her breadcrumbs. she texts me small things like i hope you are doing well, i hope you are happy etc... i get unknown calls from time to time to so i just ignore it all. how long does this continue? i feel like responding to her mext time she texts me or calls. would that be a good or bad idea? Oh, they all read from the same script, both the ladies and the fellows. My ex bf did that, too. He verbally and mentally abused me and then about some months after, he asked how I was, "best wishes"==I loathed that. that is something you say to someone you hardly know. if you ignore them, they go away. Actually, I am the first one my ex left alone. He used to stalk his exes like crazy for months and months and months. The last time he texted me was August. He has a new victim, now. I think he left me alone because I needed answers and got them...from his ex wife and 2 other exes who contacted me after hearing about what happened between us through the grapevine. It depends on the person and how persistent they are and....if they have someone new. When stuff is not working out for her, you will get a text asking you for coffee or something since she's in the area, etc. They just want to see if we are still swooning over them. To heal is to ignore that **** and do not look back. If she is serious and wants you, she will move mountains for you. not text you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hey Mike what did she contact you for? Were you the one that dumped her? Mines contacts me but its like breadcrumb stuff like I hope you are doing well, and I hope you are happy. What do you guys think thats all about? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 Hey Mike what did she contact you for? Were you the one that dumped her? Mines contacts me but its like breadcrumb stuff like I hope you are doing well, and I hope you are happy. What do you guys think thats all about? I was so stunned to hear from her!! I'm guessing she had been carrying around alot of guilt for the cruel way she dumped me and just wanted to get it off her chest. Matter of fact she used those words (getting it off her chest) Also in her email/notes were lots of sorrys...regrets but nothing about wanting to try it again. I did find out last week that she's single again..don't know if I'll hear from her again or not.....best not to! Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 did she contact you after she got dumped by her boyfriend? it seems like thats the only way they can realize their mistakes if they r single Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 did she contact you after she got dumped by her boyfriend? it seems like thats the only way they can realize their mistakes if they r single I don't know all the details and I'm not sure if I want to. A friend of mine went to her Facebook page (I defriended her long ago) and the status of .."In a relationship" is no longer there....when we were together it showed.."In a relationship". It was their 3rd attempt to make it work so I'm guessing it didn't. Shes also probably to ashamed to ask me to try it again...who knows...I'm surely not contacting her however I did finally reply to her contacts to me....wish I wouldn't of now!! Link to post Share on other sites
jus d'orange Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 It's indefinite. Until you've been confident for A LONG TIME (a few months, at least) that you could speak to them without having any romantic, you should avoid contacting your ex, ignore any contact from them, or at the very least politely inform them via e-mail or text that you wish to have a lot of space. In the end, you'll be glad you did. I've got to the point now where I don't want to hear from her. I've got my own life going on and her absence no longer causes me any pain. Her presence, however, might be a problem. I just don't know. As a result, I won't bother trying. It isn't worth it to find out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xztjohn Posted March 10, 2012 Author Share Posted March 10, 2012 i saw her yesterday i was with my friends and she was looking at me and i turned i look real fast and looked away. i get uncomfortable if she is around but i dont get the old feelings where it emotionally hurts Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 i saw her yesterday i was with my friends and she was looking at me and i turned i look real fast and looked away. i get uncomfortable if she is around but i dont get the old feelings where it emotionally hurts Good for you....I haven't run into my ex. yet and dread the day I do....don't know if I'm ready for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamila Posted March 10, 2012 Share Posted March 10, 2012 we broke upfor 5 months now where the last two months i have been ignoring her breadcrumbs. she texts me small things like i hope you are doing well, i hope you are happy etc... i get unknown calls from time to time to so i just ignore it all. how long does this continue? i feel like responding to her mext time she texts me or calls. would that be a good or bad idea? Why do you want to text her back ? Is it to reconcile or to just be friends ? Link to post Share on other sites
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