What you understand from this ?

[Jonn60]

So I met a girl in December at a party. Not to make this post a long one, I just say the important parts. We dated 2 times. First went good. Secondly went better, we even kissed on mouth, 2 times. She enjoyed my presence. I could feel that she liked me. Then, 6 days passed when I asked her to see each other again. She didn't want too anymore, reason: She haven't pass over her last relationship, that from what she said, was a healthy one ( almost 2 years ) that ended in a brutal mode ( he cheated or something ). She told me that she liked me, that she wanted to spend time with me, she had plans with the two of us, but "her heart was not on the same line with her mind". So I told her: I give you space and time, as long as you need. And for 1 month I vanished. No texts, no talks, nothing. I lived my life.

 

She was the one that called me, after 1 month. We chatted a bit, and in one moment she told me we can see each other again. She studies arhitecture and has a complicated schedule. Sometimes, I did compliments on her looks and such. No problem here either. One night, I saw some check-ins on her facebook with her friends. Next day I asked her if she still wants to meet. She said: Of course I want, if I didn't, we wouldn't talk now. We were not talking daily. So last saturday we met. We stayed in my car, chatting, laughing. She let me take a sip from her bottle juice, we hold hands and in moment of silence she laid her head on my shoulder. I could feel from her voice that tension. Prospects of her liking me and wanting more than simple friends were. Till ..

 

Yesterday. We talked a bit, after of 2 days without talking, and I slipped the words "I like you". Bad idea. She told me: "That she is still not ready for relationship. That for the moment she doesn't care of anything, she doesn't feel anything, just hanging out with her friends. That she is in a negative state for some time and wants only the time to change it and that she doesn't want to get into something that would hurt someone. That for some time we should stop talking and seeing each other, and if I still want to be friends, it is ok." Her birthday is 2 months and half from today and I asked her if I am still invited to it. She said "Yes". We still get to see each other though, haha, funny but not quite.

 

 

So, even if this started as something romantic, it ended up badly. What you say ? Chances of, in near future, to be with her and so, are at least of 0,5% ? I am planning on dating and having fun and live my life. Even if it hurts, I think its better that this happened now and not when I would be totally into her. Maybe I wanted too much in little time. Who knows, maybe she will be the one that will say something first again. You say, I am really interested in your views. Thank you.

Edited March 10, 2012 by Jonn60
Mistake.

[spiderowl]

It sounds like she's given you a few chances to spend time alone with her because she's entertained the idea of you two as more than friends. However, something has made her change her mind. She knows that she isn't feeling the same way about you as you do her about her. She doesn't want to lead you on and so says no more. Of course she wants to remain friends but is going to keep a distance. I think perhaps she thought feelings might grow but they haven't and she now knows it won't work for her. Sorry. I'm sure you've done nothing wrong; she's just the wrong girl for you.

[Jonn60]

Thanks. Well, she might be the wrong one. She should have thought better her actions and not talk to me and reignite all of this. I was doing pretty well in that one month of no talking, but after she called me and such, day by day, feelings started to appear again. These mind games .. What if she will start calling me again or so ? I want to remain friends, she, as a simple friend, can be a great person, adviser etc. I hope on finding someone soon and forget all of this.

 

Any more answers ? Please ?

[Axee]

Hi,

 

From what I can read from your posts.. and from my experiences which are

plenty.., my 2 cents is this :

 

If you continue in this mode , waiting for her, trust me, you will get entangled in such a mess, always in waiting- unable to move on- trying to change her mind -hoping your love will change her mode..This mode is dangerous and

ultimately it never works out..

 

She engaged with you physically, it may not mean she likes you, it may mean she just wanted some attention, which does happen with us girls sometimes..

 

I would suggest you to back off.practise no contact for sometime at least , let her come back to you with real reasons , atleast for a friendship..

Else you will get sucked into this whirlpool.. Sorry, but this is what I feel is the best for You and you alone..