Were humans meant to stay monogamous? Married forever?

[Matilda]

Originally posted by moimeme

I've said my piece on this in the last couple of threads on this topic. I'll just toss my hat in with Enigma. It should not be difficult to exit a marriage; it should be EXTREMELY difficult to marry. IMHO, it is choosing the wrong partner, marrying for the wrong reasons, not understanding what marriage is, and other similar issues which are the downfall of marriage. I think most marriages which end in divorce have been made unwisely.

 

In short, as for health and almost everything else, focus on prevention rather than cure.

 

I definitely agree with this too.

 

You know, this whole thing about marrying, not marrying, monogamy, etc., all comes down to what a person wants their life to be like. How they want to live their life.

 

Think about when you are on your death bed. How do you want to remember your life? What are the things you hope you accomplished? What are the things you hope people will say about you at your funeral?

 

My Aunt died recently, and she lived a very simple, country life. She was married to the same man for 60 some odd years, had children, who are now grown and seem to be happy and successful in their lives. At her funeral, many people stood up to say things about her, and everyone who stood up said they were struck by the fact that my Aunt was a good, kind person who never said a bad word about anyone. I think that was a pretty good life.

 

Now, not everyone wants the same things out of life. Some people make great accomplishments, discover things, etc. We definitely need people to do that. And I'm sure when those people die we will all be grateful for their discoveries. Probably those who do these sorts of things, make sacrifices in the personal lives in order to accomplish them.

 

I hope that on my death bed, (1) I can know that my children are happy, healthy, and reasonably successful. (2) I can know that I have been a good person (although I struggle daily with this ), respectful, considerate, and kind to others. (3) I hope that my husband and I will have had a successful marriage.

 

I believe that to accomplish all of those things, it is best to have a monogamous marriage. My husband believes this as well. Plus, I love and respect and care for my husband, and would never want to hurt him. The thought of hurting him makes me physically sick.

 

Temptation is out there, for sure. I believe, that at least part of the way we resist this temptation, is by avoiding it. Acknowledge it, make a pact with yourself not to give in to it, and don't.

 

These are the things that are important to me. I am trying to live a more purposeful life than I did when I was younger. So, that means realizing what is important, and taking steps to nurture and protect those things.

[miz_barby]

I think that it is sad that some people find it so easy and so tempting to cheat! If you want to cheat then why not just tell the person you're with you want to be "lovers and friends" then go on about your business? Why string people along?

I have always been a strong believer in trying to work things out, if you can't then just MOVE ON! I agree that cheating isn't usually about sex, maybe on a man's part but usually women cheat (or at least it seems this way) because they are lacking attention from their current man, OR they have such low self worth and esteem that they seek self worth from men, they don't feel worthy or whole unless they have men telling them they are beautiful or making them feel loved and wanted. Usually for girl's like this one man isn't enough because once he starts to get into a routine and not tell her as much or not be as affectionate then she feels the need to search else where! Those of us who love ourselves & our partners enough realize that self worth comes from within and that if we're feeling that something's lacking in the relationship the normal thing to do is communicate or at least try to and if that doesn't work then leave and move on.

I think it's probably a mixture for why men cheat, none the less everyone who wants to cheat or has the urge and knows they want to act on it they need to be honest with their partners so no one ends up hurt from the secrecy! I know this is wishful thinking but honestly it's just common decency as well!