tipsyleprachauns Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 So it's been a month now of no contact. I haven't spoken to her. I haven't seen her. I've heard a few things about her and seen the occasional photo through mutual friends but had no direct contact.* 29 days. But I feel barely any different. Sure it doesn't hurt as much all the time anymore. But it is there all the time. Constantly. I think about her first thing when I wake up and last thing before I go to sleep and most of the time in between.* I still have times - particularly the last couple days, where I feel utterly hopeless. I cried yesterday for the first time in ages.* I just don't see a day ever coming where I'm not madly attracted to this girl, both physically and emotionally I wish I would, really, but I am and always have been so crazy about her I don't know how or believe that will ever happen.* It's draining me. I'm just so fed up, sure I can go on like this but you know how it feels to just be getting through the days rather than feeling like I'm actually living my life. The pattern has become so predictable.* Meanwhile as far as I'm aware she's out having a whale of a time being single - I think dating another guy, partying loads and barely thinking about me. Reconnecting with old friends who are bad for her and reverting to her hedonistic lifestyle of before.* Now whether this is the supposed gigs I don't know. Read my backstory on my previous threads. Things seem like gigs and other things dont and I just don't know if I can ever expect to hear from her again. My gut tells me she'll burn out eventually and all the signs say she's loving not being with me.* I just needed to vent a bit. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know why I feel like I'm making no progress and how I can ever expect to wake up an not actually want to be with her.* How does this look to you? Her behavior? My behavior? Am I doing something wrong? I want to feel like I'm living again.* Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 So it's been a month now of no contact. I haven't spoken to her. I haven't seen her. I've heard a few things about her and seen the occasional photo through mutual friends but had no direct contact.* 29 days. But I feel barely any different. Sure it doesn't hurt as much all the time anymore. But it is there all the time. Constantly. I think about her first thing when I wake up and last thing before I go to sleep and most of the time in between.* I still have times - particularly the last couple days, where I feel utterly hopeless. I cried yesterday for the first time in ages.* I just don't see a day ever coming where I'm not madly attracted to this girl, both physically and emotionally I wish I would, really, but I am and always have been so crazy about her I don't know how or believe that will ever happen.* It's draining me. I'm just so fed up, sure I can go on like this but you know how it feels to just be getting through the days rather than feeling like I'm actually living my life. The pattern has become so predictable.* Meanwhile as far as I'm aware she's out having a whale of a time being single - I think dating another guy, partying loads and barely thinking about me. Reconnecting with old friends who are bad for her and reverting to her hedonistic lifestyle of before.* Now whether this is the supposed gigs I don't know. Read my backstory on my previous threads. Things seem like gigs and other things dont and I just don't know if I can ever expect to hear from her again. My gut tells me she'll burn out eventually and all the signs say she's loving not being with me.* I just needed to vent a bit. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know why I feel like I'm making no progress and how I can ever expect to wake up an not actually want to be with her.* How does this look to you? Her behavior? My behavior? Am I doing something wrong? I want to feel like I'm living again.* What your feeling and going thru now is normal....we've all been there or are still there. It's only been a month and it's going to take longer sorry to say. You say it doesn't hurt as much anymore...well the good news is that it gets better as the weeks/months roll by. My ex. dumped me for her ex. and I went thru what your going thru now...It's tough I know. I followed the N.C. rule.....never gave in...never contacted her but came soooo very close many....many times and was convinced that I'd NEVER hear from her again. Last month she started contacting me apparently just to rid herself of her guilt for dumping me in a horrible way. Stick with N.C.....it's not a tool to get her back....it's to help you move on and it works....you have to give it more time. Who knows she may contact you too in the near future....if you want her back DON'T blow it by contacting her and coming across that your desperate....needy...lost without her blah blah blah. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted March 11, 2012 Author Share Posted March 11, 2012 Oh don't worry, I'm not using it as a tool to get her back . I can honestly say right now that as badly as I want to be back with her - I would, in absolutely equal amounts, be happy with getting over her. I just want to get out of this place I'm in now and was hoping I might feel a bit different by now. I don't really. I can't see a day I will ever not be head over heels for her. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted March 11, 2012 Share Posted March 11, 2012 That day will come...believe me. Link to post Share on other sites
loveydove Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 I'm going through the same thing. My ex and I have been in love for years and years. I never thought I'd see this day where he seems happy to be on his own, and completely moved on so soon. It hurts so bad I feel like there is no hope. Link to post Share on other sites
freetolove Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 out of the house =) Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 That's the thing - I'm doing everything right. I have been no contact and to be honest have found it surprisingly easy. Have once or twice had a mile urge to drop her a light text about something that made me laugh that I thought she would appreciate it. But honestly, barely ever thought about contacting her and certainly not come close. I haven't shut myself away. Mainly because that scares me. But I'm busy - I'm doing awesome stuff every night of the week, have started volunteering with mountain rescue, my faith has come on leaps and bounds, I'm active and my career is looking very exciting and I've made some fantastic new friends. But still - every day, all day, I think about her and I find myself wondering if I'll ever hear from her again. If I'll ever get breadcrumbs or more. If when she does some growing up, my gut feeling will be right and she might come back. I just don't know. To be honest, I'd quite happily swap all of those thoughts and feelings for not being interested in her anymore. Not being physically or emotionally attracted to her. I'm surprised I still am after everything that's gone on. But I don't see that day ever coming, I'm so insanely crazy about this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted March 12, 2012 Share Posted March 12, 2012 That's the thing - I'm doing everything right. I have been no contact and to be honest have found it surprisingly easy. Have once or twice had a mile urge to drop her a light text about something that made me laugh that I thought she would appreciate it. But honestly, barely ever thought about contacting her and certainly not come close. I haven't shut myself away. Mainly because that scares me. But I'm busy - I'm doing awesome stuff every night of the week, have started volunteering with mountain rescue, my faith has come on leaps and bounds, I'm active and my career is looking very exciting and I've made some fantastic new friends. But still - every day, all day, I think about her and I find myself wondering if I'll ever hear from her again. If I'll ever get breadcrumbs or more. If when she does some growing up, my gut feeling will be right and she might come back. I just don't know. To be honest, I'd quite happily swap all of those thoughts and feelings for not being interested in her anymore. Not being physically or emotionally attracted to her. I'm surprised I still am after everything that's gone on. But I don't see that day ever coming, I'm so insanely crazy about this girl. Theres nothing worse than your ex driving herself in your brain all the time. I really really understand you but be warned breadcrumbs are the worse thing you may get.... It gives wrong hope, wrong impression. Our ex's are not evil but when they are confused/curious or sentimentally threatened , they go into a mode that sends us breadcrumbs. I have been getting them for 14 months. Why do I keep accepting them, is something I dont understand. I have been really hard with women after my break up but when it comes to her.....I am really messed up.Its like I cant keep bad thoughts against her and always I manage to find an excuse for what she does to me. So i know how you feel..... Just remember, if you never hear from her, she is doing you a favour. If she feeds you with false hope or breadcrumbs as it is known, then you are taking salt and rubbing it on you wounds and as much as it hurts we still go back for more....... So think about picking up those breadcrumbs......if they ever come.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted March 12, 2012 Author Share Posted March 12, 2012 I just feel like...I was low but doing alright. And then this past week It's just gotten harder again. Particularly the last few days. I miss her. So much. Link to post Share on other sites
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