whichwayisup Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 It's been the hardest, most painful thing I have ever gone through. 7 years I have loved this man. His wife was finally served his Petition for Divorce this past Wednesday. I read your other post. Your situation is slightly different as you may have loved him for 7 years but you weren't having an A with him for those 7 years, 5 years were NC and you lived your life without him. Seems now the timing is right, you both are divorced (or he is about to be) to start fresh and do things the proper way. Good luck - My only advice is, ALL of you put the kids first and even if you hate his ex (I read you said she was abusive to him..Though do you know this firsthand or just what he has told you? SO easy for a MM to say his wife was mean, abusive etc..yet they kept on having kids after the first one..) keep that to yourself and for the kids sake be nice to her. She will always be their mother, so don't try to take her place. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 It's been the hardest, most painful thing I have ever gone through. 7 years I have loved this man. His wife was finally served his Petition for Divorce this past Wednesday. I read your other post. Your situation is slightly different as you may have loved him for 7 years but you weren't having an A with him for those 7 years, 5 years were NC and you lived your life without him. Seems now the timing is right, you both are divorced (or he is about to be) to start fresh and do things the proper way. Good luck - My only advice is, ALL of you put the kids first and even if you hate his ex (I read you said she was abusive to him..Though do you know this firsthand or just what he has told you? SO easy for a MM to say his wife was mean, abusive etc..yet they kept on having kids after the first one..) keep that to yourself and for the kids sake be nice to her. She will always be their mother, so don't try to take her place. Generally - from what I have seen - when an abused husband divorces... His past has affected him so much that he fails to end up with the "nice gal" mainly because he's not used to his gal being nice to him - so he's unfamiliar with that - and runs out to pick one that looks most like the relationship he left (abusive). It never matters that he knows it - it's just always what he will choose because hat is his comfort zone (what's familiar to HIM). Link to post Share on other sites
Eighty8 Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) I read your other post. Your situation is slightly different as you may have loved him for 7 years but you weren't having an A with him for those 7 years, 5 years were NC and you lived your life without him. Seems now the timing is right, you both are divorced (or he is about to be) to start fresh and do things the proper way. Good luck - My only advice is, ALL of you put the kids first and even if you hate his ex (I read you said she was abusive to him..Though do you know this firsthand or just what he has told you? SO easy for a MM to say his wife was mean, abusive etc..yet they kept on having kids after the first one..) keep that to yourself and for the kids sake be nice to her. She will always be their mother, so don't try to take her place. We have always been in contact. Only sometimes would months pass with NC when I was dating. We didn't see each other face to face for 5 years. I do know it first hand as I have read the police reports. She has serious issues. Though she was abusive, hate is a strong word, and something I don't have room for in my heart. She is still a human being. They had one child together. Each has a child from another marriage and all kids live with them. I will only work to foster a good relationship with her and the kids. Kids ALWAYS come first. Edited March 17, 2012 by Eighty8 typo Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) deleted by me...wrong thread doh! Edited March 17, 2012 by jwi71 Link to post Share on other sites
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