FitChick Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 So who is moving where and when? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 Moving isn't the issue here, him making himself ill from work is. So who is moving where and when? Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I'm glad you were able to have a good chat. Regardless of what ultimately happens, I feel you'll be more at peace with whatever life throws your way now in regards to him because you have a sense of closure. Never knowing why something happened and driving yourself crazy with the what ifs is one of the worst feelings in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 We spoke last night, and he opened up, and was very apologetic about being so closed, and about not giving me attention, he said breaking up was the last thing he wanted and he'd been feeling down since we split, and it hadn't been about him loving me less, and that he doesn't, it was more about his work stress and worrying he wasn't devoting enough time to us, and whether he was in the right place to be in a r/ship, he was worried he's f*cked up something beautiful. He was so sweet. I felt so much better for talking, he did too. He said he'd been pressuring himself rather then it being me pressuring him. I said let's take the pressure off and just see what happens. I'm so glad he opened up to you HOH. I know how frustrated you have been by his inability to share his thoughts and feelings. I'm glad you are feeling so much better too. You obviously care a great deal about each other so, whether you can make this work as a relationship or not (and ultimately it may not be quite right for either of you), I know you two will always be good friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Moonless sky Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Oh hun, my boyfriend of 4 years just left me. I'm utterly heartbroken. He called me today just to say hes moved on and will never come back to me. I hope this isn't true, I hope he lets his anger toward me disappear. I'm so lost... Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 I hoped things would be ok after our chat, but just because you still love each other doesn't mean it can work. I'm heartbroken, I don't feel better at all. It was good to know he loves me still, but if we can't be together for various reasons it's incredibly painful. Feels wrong to part, but there's nothing I can do. Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Learning Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Usually things make more sense over time. The old saying, "Hindsight is 20/20". What you may not be able to make any sense of now, could very well be more clear and understandable for you, a year from now. I can look back on my life, here at my current age of 42, and see things in relationships I was involved in, that I had no hope of understanding at the time I was in the relationship back then. Especially true of things that were going on in my life in my 20's. My 20's were such a painful mess, but I have learned alot. If you feel especially bummed out all the time and fear slipping into depression, be sure to take a multi vitamin every day, along with an extra multi "B" vitamin. I take "Super B Complex" by Nature Made (found in the USA, most any store). I also take "Sam-E", 200mg (400 mg if really down. Technically you can take up to 1600mg a day I believe). Again this is sold anywhere, Wal-Mart, you name it. It says on the bottle, "Improves Mood". The Sam-E is the best. It lifts my mood within an hour and lasts all day. It doesn't make you high. It does, however, do something subtle with the feel good chemicals in the brain to help lift the sadness/heavy feeling. This is sometimes very beneficial to help the tears stop so you can get something done during the day. Cheers Link to post Share on other sites
crazylove Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Sorry to hear your sad news HoH. Hope you're feeling ok today. ((hugs)) Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 Thank you FL and crazylove. The good news is we're going to continue, it's not easy to give up on us even if it's not perfect circumstances. Having some space seemed to help us both, and we've talked about how to make things easier for us. Early days, but we want to see how things go.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 I'm glad you've decided to work things through. I know it's hard not having an end date in sight yet, but that doesn't mean that you have to shelve the whole thing either. To me, THAT'S even more difficult. Perhaps you both can use this time (when you're ready of course) to figure out other long-term solutions for you to resolve the distance one day. I know things have been on rocky ground lately with the pair of you, but I just don't think either of you are ready to give up. Perhaps I'm biased, but that's just how I see it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author HeavenOrHell Posted March 22, 2012 Author Share Posted March 22, 2012 Thank you, we both found it hard having no contact for 4 days, and things were up in the air for a few days more, still not sure how things will go, he seems pretty messed up cos of work stress, hard for him to focus on anything else. Taking things slowly for now, he said work should ease in time and let's see how things go. It was just really nice to hear from him when he got back in touch after a few days this week, and he was relieved to hear from me when we had the 4 day break last week. I said concentrate on work for now, and that taking pressure off us for now is good for us both. It's hard, but I don't think we're ready to stop just yet. Proceeding with caution, and not labelling ourselves as in a r/ship right now. I'm glad you've decided to work things through. I know it's hard not having an end date in sight yet, but that doesn't mean that you have to shelve the whole thing either. To me, THAT'S even more difficult. Perhaps you both can use this time (when you're ready of course) to figure out other long-term solutions for you to resolve the distance one day. I know things have been on rocky ground lately with the pair of you, but I just don't think either of you are ready to give up. Perhaps I'm biased, but that's just how I see it. Link to post Share on other sites
shorty7 Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 HOH, I'm new to these forums, but I can empathize with what you're going through and I hope you pull through. If you feel especially bummed out all the time and fear slipping into depression, be sure to take a multi vitamin every day, along with an extra multi "B" vitamin. I take "Super B Complex" by Nature Made (found in the USA, most any store). I also take "Sam-E", 200mg (400 mg if really down. Technically you can take up to 1600mg a day I believe). Again this is sold anywhere, Wal-Mart, you name it. It says on the bottle, "Improves Mood". The Sam-E is the best. It lifts my mood within an hour and lasts all day. It doesn't make you high. It does, however, do something subtle with the feel good chemicals in the brain to help lift the sadness/heavy feeling. This is sometimes very beneficial to help the tears stop so you can get something done during the day. Cheers Dear FL, where were you in my life 8 months ago when I needed this advice!? Ugh. Should've come to these forums earlier. lol. :-p 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wildgeese Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Thank you, we both found it hard having no contact for 4 days, and things were up in the air for a few days more, still not sure how things will go, he seems pretty messed up cos of work stress, hard for him to focus on anything else. Taking things slowly for now, he said work should ease in time and let's see how things go. It was just really nice to hear from him when he got back in touch after a few days this week, and he was relieved to hear from me when we had the 4 day break last week. I said concentrate on work for now, and that taking pressure off us for now is good for us both. It's hard, but I don't think we're ready to stop just yet. Proceeding with caution, and not labelling ourselves as in a r/ship right now. I'm really glad you guys are working through things. I think what he needs to focus on is learning how to better cope with his stress. We all handle it in different ways and it seems like perhaps he hasn't quite found his way? That's just an assumption, of course. I'm glad you're there for him - you seem like such a supportive partner! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
folieadeux Posted March 23, 2012 Share Posted March 23, 2012 Thank you, we both found it hard having no contact for 4 days, and things were up in the air for a few days more, still not sure how things will go, he seems pretty messed up cos of work stress, hard for him to focus on anything else. Taking things slowly for now, he said work should ease in time and let's see how things go. It was just really nice to hear from him when he got back in touch after a few days this week, and he was relieved to hear from me when we had the 4 day break last week. I said concentrate on work for now, and that taking pressure off us for now is good for us both. It's hard, but I don't think we're ready to stop just yet. Proceeding with caution, and not labelling ourselves as in a r/ship right now. I couldn't agree more with Wildgeese; you are such a supportive partner and are being GREAT through all of this. I think taking the pressure off of things will help you both all around. He's obviously going through a really stressful time right now, which has nothing to do with you, but he's unfortunately letting it get in the way of your relationship. There's definitely no need to be bogged down with labels at this point. Some people just cope with things differently and it sounds like a break will do you both wonders. You'll both come out stronger on the other side. Hang in there and keep us updated! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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