hurt_online Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I need some advice quickly...anyone line now: June 9, 2004...2:11 et Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I say don't do it! Tee hee..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurt_online Posted June 9, 2004 Author Share Posted June 9, 2004 Well i'm not quite laughing...no offfense. I can't think straight now....i just realize my fiance is cheating or whatever u want to call it online. He's talking to other women and lying and saying he's single and not dating anyone and he loves women. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Well then you need to confront him about this. Sounds like you two have issues you need to get over. Make sure you keep proof that he's been doing this. Just don't go by 'hearsay'. Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 I was giving you a not-so-subtle hint that maybe if you want advice - you should type a little more than: I need some advice quickly...anyone line now: June 9, 2004...2:11 et If you think your fiance is cheating. Ask him. Understand though that the answer might not be what you want to hear and it might be a lie. How did you find out? Do you have proof? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurt_online Posted June 9, 2004 Author Share Posted June 9, 2004 Well i have the proof. I pretended to be a random chatter and found him in a chat room. I have the conversation printed on paper. I had signs of this before and thought I had proof, but he always made up some excuse and I believed it. I know its him cause he sent me an e-mail and its his e-mail address. We've been together so long and I thought before all this started happening that we had a wonderful relationship. No other major problems...we're both happy and get along great or so i thought. I never in a million years dreamed he would cheat on me....he wanted to settle down and be married and have a family one day. why why why why why.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurt_online Posted June 9, 2004 Author Share Posted June 9, 2004 I apologize, I ususally write very clearly and very detailed. I'm just so shook up right now that I can't even type. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted June 9, 2004 Share Posted June 9, 2004 Well best thing to do is confront him. He's going to try to throw it on you, saying you lured him into it. Sounds like there is no trust in the relationship, which is an essential part of the foundation. Link to post Share on other sites
lacey Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 hi i feel terrible for you as my hubby did the same thing and she eventually came over to the country in which my hubby and her went away, i was not involved he eventually slept with her and he told her he told me and she got angry. we are still together and as far as i know he hasnt kept in contact with her because i threatened to leave. i caught him out on the comp talking to her and i turned off the internet after she left the country. i tried to explain to him she was no good as everyone that met her here in the end didnt like her. she knew he was married and he didnt hide that fact she also knew there was a grandchild on the way she didnt care. i just pinpointed out all these things to him about how if he left me he would never see his children again as they wouldnt want to know him etc. i think sometimes families are more important we were. i still dont trust him and the hurt never goes away im hoping it will fade in time. talk to him and let him know these internet chat rooms are no good and that alot of people get hurt. she chased my husband with phone calls emails etc he didnt answer because i was always there and he knew id leave him for good. i hope you can get him away from the comp and make him relise how fake some people are. if he says its your fault he is in chat rooms tell him straight its his actions not yours and you never made him go into chat rooms. Link to post Share on other sites
sally1530 Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I caught my fiance with his profile and picture up on lavalife (singles looking for sex website) and found out he was emailing at least three girls and sending naked pictures back and forth. He said he never crossed a physical or emotional line with any of these gals... but thats after I caught him 7 lies in a row. He was on the internet site for our entire 14 month relationship , including our 4.5 month engagement. The wedding was called off by him because he couldnt look me in the eye anymore and that he said I would never trust him again or look at him again the way I did. It was called off 28 days before the wedding. No contact has been made for the last month. Wedding was supposed to be May 22nd, 2004. I dont think I will be hearing from him anymore.. He says he didnt do anything wrong and that he was just flirting, and that he doesnt want to pursue or need or want a relationship with me anymore. Im fine with that. Im just glad he let me out of the mess it could have been. I asked him if I didnt catch you would you have married me? He said yes. I asked him would you have still done what you were doing? He said yes , and that he didnt think there was anything wrong and that I cant accept him and his sexuality. Sorry I dont share my fiance or husband.... period. Hope this helps.... Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 Ask him right out whether or not he has attempted to cheat on you. Like everyone else said, he might confess to what he has done, or he may try to lie his way out of the situation. It would be nice to think he would at least be honest with you about what he did online if you ask him right out, but there are no guarantees of that. The more important thing is, are you willing to stay in a relationship with him after what has happened? If so, you need to trust him and he needs to earn your trust; this won't be an easy thing for either of you to do. Ask him why he was talking to other women--the least he could do is give you an honest answer about why he was seeking out other women. If he still won't be honest, I doubt you'll ever feel you can trust him again. Link to post Share on other sites
sally1530 Posted June 11, 2004 Share Posted June 11, 2004 I talked with him after I found out, he lied over and over that day to me, I dont think he told me the full truth. He did tell me he wanted these girls to send their naked pictures to him, and you know what for right? Well anyway, I have a great looking body, im very good looking and fit and in shape, and had a great sex life with this guy, dont know why he needed more. Anyway, we made up after I found out and for the next three days he pretended like everything was okay and the wedding was still on. The night before the wedding shower, 7pm I came home and he said the shower was cancelled this morning, everyone on his side of the family knows and I need to move out tomorrow. That was it !!! I was the last to know.... he couldnt even look me in the eye anymore, the guilt had set in. He thought I could never forgive him or look at him in the same light again. I mean what does he expect after 2 or 3 days of finding out hes been lying to me the entire relationship? Anyway I moved out the next day, gave him back the ring and he was stuck paying the costs of the wedding. He was mad at me because he thought I should pay 1/2 , 1/2 for what> he is the one who crumbled our wedding and trust. Anyway as soon as he minipulated the ring back from me , I never saw him again. Its been over 5 weeks now since he got back his ring, and he has stated in two emails to me hes moving on and has no need or want to pursue a relationship with me anymore. I mean where do you go from there anyway? Its obvious we didnt have trust, loyality and communication in our relationship and that he didnt respect me. He also decided not to marry me, so dating him wouldnt be an option anymore. Not after this long. I am moving on with my life and will never really understand what is intentions were? Maybe he was gay, bi, or just mentally messed up and couldnt commit at the age of 38. Oh, well life is too short to wonder why, I am happy as can be consider the mess he put me though and am dating again. I know there is someone who will respect, love and honor me out there, and I cant wait to find him. Thanks for all your advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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