do dumpers always come to resent the dumpee?

[my body is a cage]

Just wondering-

 

Even if a dumper broke up with a dumpee while caring for them, would the dumper eventually begin to resent the dumpee? Mostly as a way to rationalize the breakup and the atone for guilt, I mean.

 

My ex has said things like "I can't believe I dated 'so and so' before..." and I'm wondering if, although he had great things to say about me at the time, will he convince himself I am pathetic just because he broke up with me?

[Philosoraptor]

Many do, many don't. It all depends on the person and how they deal with things. Either way, be confident in yourself and it will not matter.

[rootless]

Not always.

I think it entirely depends on the psychological makeup of the dumper.

 

If they're the type of person who avoids responsibility and deflects blame, then yes, they'll resent whoever they left-- because that's the reaction they're limited to. If they lacked the capacity to be accountable before the breakup, it's not likely they'll suddenly develop it afterwards. I'm sure it happens, but it requires a lot of willingness to grow on the dumper's behalf-- and like I said, if they didn't arrive with that capacity at the beginning of the relationship, it takes a pretty dynamic, special person to develop it on the way out... which, sadly, isn't a trait that abounds with most people in general, let alone those who are predisposed to dumping their partners.

 

If the dumper was a kind, compassionate, well-adjusted person to begin with, then no such resentment exists, probably. Sure, there's most likely some regret, and residual guilt or grief, but no bitterness. A secure, loving person would just be sad that it ended, not disdainful towards their former love.

[rootless]

Sometimes an answer is so good, a thread should just be closed

 

Thanks -- I dunno, I'm in a somewhat similar situation as my body is a cage, so it's possible I'm projecting a little.

 

I was the dumpee in my relationship, and am having a really hard time getting over it.

 

I've had next to no contact with my ex in a year, but I still struggle with the loss almost daily.

 

In my case, I just can't seem to dislodge myself from a profound sense of disappointment. It's not even anger, or resentment -- it's just this unrelenting feeling of disbelief and miscalculation.

 

My ex was extraordinarily lazy and flippant with our breakup -- just completely detached and cavalier. It almost felt transactional; like she was returning a pair of socks that were too small, or something.

 

And trying to reconcile that cold dismissal with how much I loved her has been absolutely brutal.

 

I would LOVE to be in a position where I could just look back on the relationship and feel *some* semblance of gratitude, and fondness.

 

In every other breakup I've been through, I ultimately walked away with a deep sadness that it ended, tied to a feeling of tremendous warmth and a thankfulness that it happened at all. But this one *really* messes with me.

 

Because I feel like it meant NOTHING.

 

And it absolutely tears me up.

 

Yuck.

 

So, the thing I have to keep reminding myself of is this: I cannot expect this woman to show me feelings she simply doesn't have.

As horrible as it sounds, she just didn't have it within her to end things gracefully.

She just didn't have the capacity to leave me with some respect and kindness.

She just doesn't have those items in her toolbox.

 

And rationally, I know that bears no reflection on me, or my love, or the efforts I made, but holy crap, it sure is disappointing.

Edited March 12, 2012 by rootless

[LogicallyIllogical]

I was the dumpee in my relationship, and am having a really hard time getting over it.

 

I've had next to no contact with my ex in a year, but I still struggle with the loss almost daily.

 

In my case, I just can't seem to dislodge myself from a profound sense of disappointment. It's not even anger, or resentment -- it's just this unrelenting feeling of disbelief and miscalculation.

 

My ex was extraordinarily lazy and flippant with our breakup -- just completely detached and cavalier. It almost felt transactional; like she was returning a pair of socks that were too small, or something.

 

And trying to reconcile that cold dismissal with how much I loved her has been absolutely brutal.

 

I would LOVE to be in a position where I could just look back on the relationship and feel *some* semblance of gratitude, and fondness.

 

In every other breakup I've been through, I ultimately walked away with a deep sadness that it ended, tied to a feeling of tremendous warmth and a thankfulness that it happened at all. But this one *really* messes with me.

 

Because I feel like it meant NOTHING.

 

And it absolutely tears me up.

 

Yuck.

 

So, the thing I have to keep reminding myself of is this: I cannot expect this woman to show me feelings she simply doesn't have.

As horrible as it sounds, she just didn't have it within her to end things gracefully.

She just didn't have the capacity to leave me with some respect and kindness.

She just doesn't have those items in her toolbox.

 

And rationally, I know that bears no reflection on me, or my love, or the efforts I made, but holy crap, it sure is disappointing.

 

You're not the only one, man. Perhaps my story will make you feel a bit better.

 

My EX unceremoniously dumped me 3 weeks ago. In a period of 24 hours, she slept with me, made plans to go for a day trip with me and then dropped me like a bad habit.

 

I was dumped out of nowhere after being led to believe we were fine. Might I add, she dumped me via text message and a few hours later, she was in a bar making out with a guy I was friends with up until that point. We were together 4 years, and all I got was "I feel like it's not working anymore", "I haven't been happy" and "You need to give me time to think".

 

We haven't spoken since then and I don't intend to speak to her again. I was thrown away in such a callous, cruel manner that it actually makes it easier for me because the person I thought I knew is now gone, or was just a facade. Keep reminding yourself that. I find that it helps. Like I said, hopefully my story makes you feel better or grateful that you weren't crapped on the way I was.

[rootless]

Minus the making out with my friend, your story and mine are remarkably alike.

 

And no, it doesn't make me feel better.

Less alone, yes, but not grateful.

You know what I mean?

 

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, man.

It's just plain rotten. It's pure suck.

[norajane]

My ex has said things like "I can't believe I dated 'so and so' before..." and I'm wondering if, although he had great things to say about me at the time, will he convince himself I am pathetic just because he broke up with me?

 

I say that about most of my exes, but it's not because I resent them, and it has nothing to do with who dumped whom. It means I was such a different person back then than I am now, and have changed so much in terms of the kind of person I would date and the kind of relationship I'd want to have.

 

I'd say that you are creating things to worry about if this is on your mind. If this relationship ends, I doubt that, years later, you would be remotely concerned about whether he resents you.

[rootless]

Fluorescent -- I think I manage to dole out fairly sound advice most of the time, but unfortunately, I have FAR greater difficulty implementing it in my own life.

 

I'm kind of obnoxiously self-aware, and I'm empathetic to a degree that it often annoys me, but along with that comes a really nasty tendency to internalize everything.

 

My brain is hard-wired to seek profundity and meaning in pretty much everything.

Not to sound arrogant, but as scary as it may be, I realize that I'm above the fray, in terms of depth and consideration, and I often forget that not everyone is hooked up like that.

 

I struggle a lot in situations where it turns out I didn't mean as much to someone as they meant to me. It really throws me for a loop.

 

And I'm so hyper-conscious about treating others well, that 7 times out of 10, I'll throw myself under the bus to spare them blame and difficulty, even if it's possibly well-deserved.

 

I've gotten MUCH better about all that over the last year, but I really have to stay on top of it.

 

As thoroughly crappy as my ex's behavior was, I have a hard time separating it from my own feelings and actions.

 

When I can be objective about it, I realize that she was a *deeply* flawed, *highly* dysfunctional human being... and then I remember, "oh yeah-- and I loved her".

 

And the hard part has been examining myself to figure out why I find myself attracted to women like that.

 

I'm proud that I've owned my share of the problem, and I'm taking real efforts to confront it -- but I'll be honest: it's been an incredibly painful, exhausting journey.

 

I'm basically facing off against 36 years of DEEPLY conditioned resistance to the idea that I don't have to put up with people who suck.

 

And though that seems like the most obvious, self-evident thing in the world-- it's been rough.

 

It's not a fun experience to accept the fact that you were deeply in love with someone who just didn't give a sh*t, and not place that blame on yourself.

[Black Jack]

Just wondering-

 

Even if a dumper broke up with a dumpee while caring for them,

 

If the dumper dumped the dumpee, that's hardly caring.

 

would the dumper eventually begin to resent the dumpee? Mostly as a way to rationalize the breakup and the atone for guilt, I mean.

 

This is subjective. If the dumper was a pure idiot, and/or was a cheater, then it's really irrelevant what the dumper feels after the breakup. If the dumper dumped the dumpee because the dumpee was an idiot and/or was a cheater, then that's just a pure case of justice served to the dumpee.

 

My ex has said things like "I can't believe I dated 'so and so' before..." and I'm wondering if, although he had great things to say about me at the time, will he convince himself I am pathetic just because he broke up with me?

 

My advice to you (since you're obviously hurt over this, which is understandable) would be to try to not think about what he feels at this moment about the breakup. The point of the matter is you two dated and were a couple, simple as that, no matter how many lies he spins in his head. What you need to do is try and focus more on yourself since he is an EX. It won't be an easy task to accomplish but as time passes by, and years later in the future, you will barely think about him, much less about how he feels.

[Ajax]

 

It's not a fun experience to accept the fact that you were deeply in love with someone who just didn't give a sh*t, and not place that blame on yourself.

 

Here's another example of you hitting the nail on the head.

 

It's been a year and a half-ish since my ex left me, and it took so long for me to stop feeling like this. A year ago I was feeling like an absolute failure for having loved her so much and worked so hard at the relationship, only to be treated like just another guy she dated once in the end.

 

It does take time to overcome that feeling of worthlessness.

[EspressoTorte]

Fluorescent -- I think I manage to dole out fairly sound advice most of the time, but unfortunately, I have FAR greater difficulty implementing it in my own life.

 

I'm kind of obnoxiously self-aware, and I'm empathetic to a degree that it often annoys me, but along with that comes a really nasty tendency to internalize everything.

 

My brain is hard-wired to seek profundity and meaning in pretty much everything.

Not to sound arrogant, but as scary as it may be, I realize that I'm above the fray, in terms of depth and consideration, and I often forget that not everyone is hooked up like that.

 

I struggle a lot in situations where it turns out I didn't mean as much to someone as they meant to me. It really throws me for a loop.

 

And I'm so hyper-conscious about treating others well, that 7 times out of 10, I'll throw myself under the bus to spare them blame and difficulty, even if it's possibly well-deserved.

 

I've gotten MUCH better about all that over the last year, but I really have to stay on top of it.

 

As thoroughly crappy as my ex's behavior was, I have a hard time separating it from my own feelings and actions.

 

When I can be objective about it, I realize that she was a *deeply* flawed, *highly* dysfunctional human being... and then I remember, "oh yeah-- and I loved her".

 

And the hard part has been examining myself to figure out why I find myself attracted to women like that.

 

I'm proud that I've owned my share of the problem, and I'm taking real efforts to confront it -- but I'll be honest: it's been an incredibly painful, exhausting journey.

 

I'm basically facing off against 36 years of DEEPLY conditioned resistance to the idea that I don't have to put up with people who suck.

 

And though that seems like the most obvious, self-evident thing in the world-- it's been rough.

 

It's not a fun experience to accept the fact that you were deeply in love with someone who just didn't give a sh*t, and not place that blame on yourself.

 

When you get over this, I hope you find your backbone.

[mike588]

Just wondering-

 

Even if a dumper broke up with a dumpee while caring for them, would the dumper eventually begin to resent the dumpee? Mostly as a way to rationalize the breakup and the atone for guilt, I mean.

 

My ex has said things like "I can't believe I dated 'so and so' before..." and I'm wondering if, although he had great things to say about me at the time, will he convince himself I am pathetic just because he broke up with me?

 

I think they may come to resent the dumpee if the dumpee constantly calls...texts..other begging crying..pleading to get back together.

 

I can only speak of my ex. g/f she had/has no reason to resent me...She contacted me several times lately saying sorry and she regrets her actions.

[rootless]

It's been a year and a half-ish since my ex left me, and it took so long for me to stop feeling like this. A year ago I was feeling like an absolute failure for having loved her so much and worked so hard at the relationship, only to be treated like just another guy she dated once in the end.

 

It does take time to overcome that feeling of worthlessness.

 

Yup.

 

Gah! I know exactly how you feel.

 

I really have to keep tabs on not allowing the break-up to feel like a monumental personal failure.

 

I honestly have trouble even admitting some of the things my ex said to me before she left-- because they're so entirely mean-spirited and awful.

 

I get *embarrassed* relating those stories, because I just cannot believe that I invested so heavily in someone who could act like that.

 

*She* behaved like a reprehensible A-hole, and yet *I'M* the one who feels guilty and humiliated about it.

 

How does that work, exactly?

 

So, so messed up.

[rootless]

When you get over this, I hope you find your backbone.

 

Backbone has absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

It's not about being submissive, or weak, or any other failing you seem ready to assign me.

 

The trouble with dysfunctional people is that they don't immediately identify themselves. They don't wear a T-shirt saying "afraid of intimacy".

Sometimes you have to find out the hard way.

 

And yeah, maybe I endured more than I should have, but it has ZERO to do with being spineless.

 

I cared.

 

And sometimes that means accepting others' shortcomings.

Sometimes that means, taking some additional weight on your shoulders, because you're STRONGER than the other person.

Because you can handle it, and they *can't*.

 

I stuck around, because I loved her.

I had faith that if I displayed a little patience and strength that she could overcome her issues.

 

She couldn't.

 

And as soon as that was clear, I walked the hell away.

 

I'm not some chump on Jerry Springer, complaining about the 16th time I've been cheated on.

 

I took a risk on something I really wanted to work out, and it didn't.

 

Cut me some slack, dude.

I was in love.

People make some bonehead decisions when they're in love.

 

I genuinely hope you put a little more effort into being constructive and better informed in your relationships than you did in that post, because you assumed A LOT and offered very little.

Edited March 12, 2012 by rootless

[EspressoTorte]

Backbone has absolutely nothing to do with it.

 

It's not about being submissive, or weak, or any other failing you seem ready to assign me.

 

The trouble with dysfunctional people is that they don't immediately identify themselves. They don't wear a T-shirt saying "afraid of intimacy".

Sometimes you have to find out the hard way.

 

And yeah, maybe I endured more than I should have, but it has ZERO to do with being spineless.

 

I cared.

 

And sometimes that means accepting others' shortcomings.

Sometimes that means, taking some additional weight on your shoulders, because you're STRONGER than the other person.

Because you can handle it, and they *can't*.

 

I stuck around, because I loved her.

I had faith that if I displayed a little patience and strength that she could overcome her issues.

 

She couldn't.

 

And as soon as that was clear, I walked the hell away.

 

Cut me some slack, dude.

I was in love.

 

I took a chance on the wrong person.

Who hasn't done that at least once?

 

I genuinely hope you put a little more effort into being constructive and better informed in your relationships than you did in that post, because you assumed A LOT and offered very little.

 

I just wonder what sense it makes to take the fall for people even when they deserve it, as you've said.

 

In my experience, people that are excessively concerned with "taking the high road" wind up justifying their actions for very screwed up situations. To me that's avoiding confrontation where it's needed. I'm not judging you, call it tough love.

[rootless]

EsopressoTorte-- Fair enough.

 

It's not something I'm super proud of, but yeah, sometimes I doubt myself, even though I know I wasn't in the wrong.

 

I'm sayin-- I *know* it's a messed up impulse. But I'd be lying my a$$ off if I said I didn't fall into that trap every so often.

 

The good thing is-- I'm addressing it.

Trust me, I'm a guy who typically confronts my problems.

 

Which is exactly why I made a bee-line out of my ex's life and got to work on MY bullish*t.

 

I spent too long addressing hers.

[EspressoTorte]

Utter nonsense. I took the high road when my last ex was verbally abusive. I didn't do it because I am scared of confrontation. I can make my point without disrespecting or hurting someone I once loved. I shared special moments with them. He deserves better then me getting abusive, because I am hurt or angry.

 

I took the high road because thats they way I choose to live my life going forward. In a positive frame of mind. Just because I don't scream or shout doesn't mean I am scared of confrontation. Far from it. I am just an emotionally mature person, who over the period of many years learnt how to communicate in a respectful manner.

 

Again, in my experience, said person was very emotionally immature and avoided the confrontation. And this person had no intentions on moving forward in their life.

[rootless]

Have you looked into codependency and its meaning?

 

Yup.

 

I'm in therapy to deal with a variation of it.

 

I've got some attachment issues.

I'm a little self-conscious to admit it, but I'm aware of 'em, and I'm taking real steps to address them.

 

I've been tackling a fear of abandonment and an opposite, but equally as strong reluctance to let go for most of my adult life.

It's something I've always made pretty aggressive strides to deal with, but I've really committed myself to confronting those problems the past couple years.

 

Without getting too much into my business, I was raised to think that giving up just isn't an option -- even if "giving up" is actually the smartest, healthiest option.

 

8 times out of 10, I'm able to stay objective and identify situations that are lost causes, but it's those other 2 that give me problems.

 

 

On the flip-side of the coin, I'm fairly positive my ex had almost identical issues, with totally opposite manifestations.

 

Whereas I'm inclined to "tough it out", she's hard-wired to run.

 

I like to talk things out and communication is ESSENTIAL to me -- and getting her to talk about her feelings is like asking her to donate a kidney.

 

We weren't a good match.

Edited March 12, 2012 by rootless

[my body is a cage]

I think they may come to resent the dumpee if the dumpee constantly calls...texts..other begging crying..pleading to get back together.

 

I can only speak of my ex. g/f she had/has no reason to resent me...She contacted me several times lately saying sorry and she regrets her actions.

 

Although my question prompted an interesting discussion, this answer was the closest to what I was looking for/ meant to ask. I guess for the most part my ex said this about his ex that contacted him non stop, was delusional, etc... He said it about the other girl too, but to be fair that girl is also a piece of work. I guess what I specifically meant to address is that if he said really great things about me at the time of the breakup, is it possible he could have changed his mind about me and started to resent me just because he broke up with me? I can see how this should be irrelevant, but it would be nice to believe that he cares for me despite the fact that he broke up with me

 

I guess what has really thrown me off is that its been a month and a half and he hasn't contacted me at all. He is usually relatively wishy-washy re: his decisions and the breakup came out of nowhere. The way he broke up with me seemed caring and genuine, so if he feels that way about me, why couldn't he at least be in touch with me? This leads me to feel like he doesn't actually care for me and just doesn't want to talk to me...

 

For some reason I started feeling differently about him today. I was having a really hard time for the past week, on my wits end about the fact that he hasn't contacted me at all, thinking he must think I'm completely worthless, etc. Then, I was actually stalking him and looking at his facebook (breaking the rules I know! but it helped!) and I suddenly got kind of annoyed with him. It's hard to articulate properly, but he has a certain way of writing and a certain sense of humor that used to tickle me and suddenly struck me as profoundly annoying... I guess for the first time I was able to see him/ how he weird he is without being blindsided by how attracted I am to him.

 

So, now, I'm feeling conflicted. He was a really important person to me for a while and we got along so well and I cared so much for him. I don't want to be just as unstable in my opinion by convincing myself to resent him just because HE dumped ME, either. A couple of days ago I wanted nothing more than for him to contact me and say hello, just to give me a clue that he cared... it was killing me that we weren't speaking. I was planning on maybe sending him a happy st. patricks day email, saying I hope he is well, but I was worried if he didn't respond that would be an indicator that he wanted nothing to do with me, ever, (even though he SAID things would be different at a different time) and that I would be devastated.

 

Now I feel like maybe I'm less invested in the situation, but maybe that is just temporary? Like if I contact him, I might have to restart the process? But at the same time, if I contact him and he responds, then I would feel mildly better because I would feel he appreciated me as a human being somewhat. And wouldn't that just be common courtesy anyway? But then again, wouldn't it be courtesy to check in and ask how I am doing? I don't know what to do!

[rootless]

Again, in my experience, said person was very emotionally immature and avoided the confrontation. And this person had no intentions on moving forward in their life.

 

That's not me. Even remotely.

 

I have my fair share of problems, and I may beat myself up a little *internally*, but I'm not a doormat.

 

I'm not afraid to call something horsesh*t when I see it.

 

Believe me-- my ex knows *exactly* what I think about her behavior.

I wasn't vindictive, or a jerk about it, but I made it *entirely* clear that what she did was completely unacceptable, and that it had no place in my life.

 

Afterwards, she made a few feeble attempts to reach out to me-- to assuage her guilt, and maneuver me into being her back-pocket "emergency guy", -- and I basically told her to go to hell.

 

I wasn't mean, or vindictive, or petty about it -- I just made it clear.

"I love you. But what you did was inexcusable. I deserve better than this."

 

And that's the last she heard of me.

Literally.

 

I'm actually incredibly proud of how I conducted myself during my last break-up.

 

No begging, no pleading, no stalking.

None of that crap.

 

I just stood up and got to work on making my life better.

[rootless]

Although my question prompted an interesting discussion, this answer was the closest to what I was looking for/ meant to ask. ...

 

And wouldn't that just be common courtesy anyway? But then again, wouldn't it be courtesy to check in and ask how I am doing? I don't know what to do!

 

Sorry for derailing your thread.

That got away from us a little bit, didn't it?

 

The problem is-- your relationship has progressed beyond common courtesy and the basic, obligatory things that exist in platonic friendships.

 

In order for them to function on that level again, you both need to come to the table with no romantic attachments or motives.

 

Once you've crossed the threshold and fallen in love with someone, it's pretty difficult to reel that in.

 

I've just never seen a healthy, sustainable relationship work unless both people are on the same page --

 

You either both need to be looking at reconciliation and working on falling in love with each other again, or you both need to be removed and detached enough to function well as friends.

 

And unless both of you are in the same place, with the same expectations, my fear is that it'll just be too lopsided to work.

 

If one of you is inlove and the other isn't, there WILL be resentment.

 

In my experience, it's totally unavoidable when feelings are that disproportionate.

[jus d'orange]

Some very interesting reading in this thread.

 

I have been able to stop concerning myself with my ex and her life fairly easily. I still think of her daily but I have no interest or care in what she's doing, other than hoping she's well. I realized that, beyond going total no contact, I had to stop thinking of her and what she thought of ME before I would be free to live with my own guidance again.

 

I found that easily the most helpful thing was to realize that the love and care I felt were from a person who is now no longer. She still looks roughly the same, has the same name, etc. However, people change. She will never be that same person who was madly in love with me again. Pounding that thought into my head, in addition to thinking about how I deserved someone who DID want to be with me, working on myself, etc (all other suggestions I've seen and given here) was what allowed me to really get on the road to healing. I'm now in the place where I'm thankful that it happened and think well of her -- even if she and I no longer speak.

[my body is a cage]

Sorry for derailing your thread.

That got away from us a little bit, didn't it?

 

The problem is-- your relationship has progressed beyond common courtesy and the basic, obligatory things that exist in platonic friendships.

 

In order for them to function on that level again, you both need to come to the table with no romantic attachments or motives.

 

Once you've crossed the threshold and fallen in love with someone, it's pretty difficult to reel that in.

 

I've just never seen a healthy, sustainable relationship work unless both people are on the same page --

 

You either both need to be looking at reconciliation and working on falling in love with each other again, or you both need to be removed and detached enough to function well as friends.

 

And unless both of you are in the same place, with the same expectations, my fear is that it'll just be too lopsided to work.

 

If one of you is inlove and the other isn't, there WILL be resentment.

 

In my experience, it's totally unavoidable when feelings are that disproportionate.

 

Hmm, yeah I guess if I am honest with myself, I want to send that email and have him respond kindly, which in my mind would reinforce that he actually meant what he said during the breakup, ie. that he thinks I'm really great and would want to be with me at a different time. Maybe that is unnecessary/unrealistic though, because, if he responded, would that really change anything about the situation? No, and I might just be putting myself through needless strife in the even that he doesn't respond. I guess I am just hurt that he hasn't tried to reach me/ be in my life as all, and am looking for validation from him that his lack of contact doesn't mean he has forgotten about me / moved on entirely.

[my body is a cage]

I'm now in the place where I'm thankful that it happened and think well of her -- even if she and I no longer speak.

 

I think that I am at this place/always have been with my ex. He taught me alot, even in breaking up with me, and I am very thankful to him and would do it all again if I had the chance. However, that is precisely why I am upset that we haven't spoken - it makes me feel as though maybe he thinks the whole thing was a mistake.

 

I understand that in order to fully move on I have to stop worrying about what he thinks. It is just so confusing when his breakup was so kind and encouraging but then I don't hear a word from him. I guess I need to take a leap of faith and believe that's not an act of hostility... if you think so well of your ex, why do you no longer want to speak with her?

[jus d'orange]

I guess I am just hurt that he hasn't tried to reach me/ be in my life as all, and am looking for validation from him that his lack of contact doesn't mean he has forgotten about me / moved on entirely.

 

If he is, then you should have even less reason to care what he thinks at all.

 

Anyone who ceases to care or think well whatsoever about someone with whom they shared a deep love, even on a purely philosophical level, isn't a very secure, well-meaning person.

 

Also, keep in mind that a lack of contact (or even ignoring you) doesn't mean that someone has forgotten about you or hates you, whatever. For instance, my ex and I aren't speaking. I will never forget about her, even if we never speak again. I'm sure she won't forget me either.

 

And if she does... well her loss! I'm a good guy.