Husband won't put me on title for new home

[Nessienu]

I’ve been married for four years. My husband is in the process of purchasing a home; scheduled to close in 11 days. He did not and will not put my name on title. We picked out the house together, but when it was time to do all of the paperwork, my husband excluded me.

 

My husband is using his separate money to pay cash for the home. My father-in-law passed away last year and left my husband a large sum of money, with which a large portion is being used to pay cash for the home. I am not contributing (financially) to the purchase of the home; I am a student and my only income is a student loan.

 

I realize that this is my husband’s money; he received it at a high price; the loss of his father, and even though I’ll live in the house, I feel as if I am being slighted because my husband refuses to put my name on the title. My husband has always kept our finances separate. Whenever I have mentioned getting joint bank accounts, he always promises “one day we will get a joint account”. I feel that, with him not putting me on title, is just another way for him to keep things separate.

 

The home will be for me and my husband. We don’t have children, and due to medical reasons, we will not have children. I feel resentment toward my husband and the house. I do not plan on going to the inspection on Wednesday or to the closing at the end of the month? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Edited March 12, 2012 by Nessienu

[loveandlove]

There is only one reason he won't do it and it is so he won't lose the money if you two divorce, also he could change the locks and not have to let you back in if he wanted. I would be upset too because it means he does not have 100% faith in the marriage. There is just no other way to put it :-(

 

Also, I know you're angry and I would also be, but if you don't go to closing etc. you will only set up a "norm" of your exclusion. If you choose to stay with him, which I am assuming you are, then definitely go to these things. You will only be fueling the fire in the long run if you don't go and involve yourself as if you were on the title. Upon working on this marriage this will help. That's what I think because it is what it is no matter what you do.

Edited March 12, 2012 by loveandlove

[JasonRules]

Let's put 2 and 2 together.

 

1. Your husband inherited a very large sum of money

2. He refuses to put your name on the title of the new home

3. He is using separate money to pay cash for the home

 

Conclusion?

 

He's getting ready logistically to give you the boot (ie. divorce). I would contact a lawyer if I were you just so you know your options.

[soserious1]

In a lot of states money that a spouse inherits does NOT become property of the marriage unless the spouse co-mingles it in accounts shared by both spouses. Your husband has every right to enjoy his inheritance & to keep the asset separate.

[Lauriebell82]

I agree with the other posters that he does not have 100% faith in the marriage. If he did he would consider anything you receive as "our money" (inheritance or otherwise) and not just "his money." Sounds like he does not have a ligit reason for not having a combined bank account. I would sit him down and flat out ask him what is going on and why he is not willing to put all his faith in your marriage. That is the real issue.

[Diamonds&Rust]

I agree with the other posters that he does not have 100% faith in the marriage.

I don't blame him. Most marriages don't work out.

 

On the other hand, of course the OP resents him for wanting to keep his assets separate. I don't know if there's much to be done about it, though.

 

If the logic is that he's preparing for divorce by refusing to mix assets, how is she not doing the same thing by asking for it? If you guys stay happily married, you'll be able to live there without incident in his house. If not, he was wise to keep it in his name.

[soserious1]

I agree with the other posters that he does not have 100% faith in the marriage. If he did he would consider anything you receive as "our money" (inheritance or otherwise) and not just "his money." Sounds like he does not have a ligit reason for not having a combined bank account. I would sit him down and flat out ask him what is going on and why he is not willing to put all his faith in your marriage. That is the real issue.

 

LOL, I'd think he might not have a lot of "faith" here because the OP has zero income aside from a student loan, she's not putting any money into the pot!

 

If OP is unhappy she can simply tell her husband that she doesn't want to live in his house, she can go out and buy or rent her own place .

[Nessienu]

I guess it's possible that he doesn't have 100% faith in the marriage. I don't think he's contemplating divorce, although you never know. It has been a wonderful 4-years of marriage. We do everything together; spend a lot of time together and get along very well. One downside is, he is very frugal, more so than me, and I count every penny. He gives me moneyy twice a month for the household expenses and it's always "just enough". I try to help contribute with the funds from my student loan.

 

He has always wanted to keep his fianances separate, other than that, he's very patient and he's very generous with time, affection, attention, etc... He particulary wanted this house because it cuts down on my 1.5 hour commute to school, now making it 1 hour and it increases his commute to work from 1 hour to 1.5 hours.

[soserious1]

I guess it's possible that he doesn't have 100% faith in the marriage. I don't think he's contemplating divorce, although you never know. It has been a wonderful 4-years of marriage. We do everything together; spend a lot of time together and get along very well. One downside is, he is very frugal, more so than me, and I count every penny. He gives me moneyy twice a month for the household expenses and it's always "just enough". I try to help contribute with the funds from my student loan.

 

He has always wanted to keep his fianances separate, other than that, he's very patient and he's very generous with time, affection, attention, etc... He particulary wanted this house because it cuts down on my 1.5 hour commute to school, now making it 1 hour and it increases his commute to work from 1 hour to 1.5 hours.

 

If you get to live in that house & only need to help pay for things like food & utilities, he is sharing with you in a most generous manner.

 

Has your fiscal contribution been 50/50 of ALL shared expenses throughout the marriage or has he paid the bulk of it.. be honest here.

[zengirl]

I guess it's possible that he doesn't have 100% faith in the marriage. I don't think he's contemplating divorce, although you never know. It has been a wonderful 4-years of marriage. We do everything together; spend a lot of time together and get along very well. One downside is, he is very frugal, more so than me, and I count every penny. He gives me moneyy twice a month for the household expenses and it's always "just enough". I try to help contribute with the funds from my student loan.

 

He has always wanted to keep his fianances separate, other than that, he's very patient and he's very generous with time, affection, attention, etc... He particulary wanted this house because it cuts down on my 1.5 hour commute to school, now making it 1 hour and it increases his commute to work from 1 hour to 1.5 hours.

 

If he's always been this way, then it's no surprise really. He wants the finances separate. The only major issue I can think of is what about when you DO start contributing to the mortgage? It seems like it'd be only fair to put your name on it---he's not given you any chance to own property of your own (since you're not going to buy another house) and put you in the place of a perpetual renter. That would bother me and feel like an improper imbalance, but it's up to you whether it bothers you. I do not think it's a symptom of divorce if it's the continuation of a trend.

[Diamonds&Rust]

Even though it may be emotionally upsetting, it's financially prudent for him to keep his finances isolated. This is compounded by the fact that he's more frugal than you are and he earns wages but you do not.

 

On the plus side, when you do start working, you won't have to pay for his mortgage!

[norajane]

Well, Arizona is a community property state, so you may have rights to the house anyway, should there be a divorce. I don't know how it works if he uses inheritance money (inheritance is not community property) to buy the house, but since he will be using some money that is not part of the inheritance to buy it, it might be covered. You'd need to check with an attorney about that.

 

HOWEVER, it sounds like your bigger concern is his motivations for not putting you on the title. And that is something that you need to work out for yourselves. Your hubby has already shown you that he has some major concerns about how money is handled in your marriage, and you two need to get on the same page in understanding this and making arrangements which make both of you feel more comfortable.

 

Have you talked to him and told him how it makes you feel that he prefers to keep all your finances separate, and how slighted you feel in the case of this house? You need to be very honest with him and give him an opportunity to help you understand his perspective and fears. If you can at least understand each other for sure, then you know what it "means" to him to leave you off the title and it might not be what it "means" to you to be off the title.

[Nessienu]

When we first married, my annual income was 87k. His was zero. I supported the household for 2 years. In 2010, he finally got a job and as fate would have it, I got laid off so I decided to go to law school. At the time when he was unemployed, I helped him out tremedously; sharing annual bonus with him or even my tax refunds.

[zengirl]

When we first married, my annual income was 87k. His was zero. I supported the household for 2 years. In 2010, he finally got a job and as fate would have it, I got laid off so I decided to go to law school. At the time when he was unemployed, I helped him out tremedously; sharing annual bonus with him or even my tax refunds.

 

This clarifies things immensely. Honestly, you'll be making good money again someday as well, it sounds like, so you have every right to want a plan for your name on the property if he expects and help/rent towards the mortgage, especially since you've previously supported the household on your own. It's your right to keep your money separate as well, if that's what he wants.

[soserious1]

This clarifies things immensely. Honestly, you'll be making good money again someday as well, it sounds like, so you have every right to want a plan for your name on the property if he expects and help/rent towards the mortgage, especially since you've previously supported the household on your own. It's your right to keep your money separate as well, if that's what he wants.

 

From the sounds of things there's no mortgage, all the OP would be expected to help pay for would be utilities & food. Property taxes, insurance, etc would be all on her husband.If I were him I'd come up with a figure to charge the OP as her rent, after all if she wasn't living there she'd have to live somewhere & she would be paying rent.

 

Oh she paid the bills for 2 years & he's now paid them for 2 years, he doesn't owe it to her to give her half his inheritance.

[xxoo]

OP, it sounds like you'll have a good income in the future. If it were me, I would want to eventually have a solid investment in our family home (not be forced out in the event of his death, for example).

 

Have you discussed the possibility of you buying into the home in the future? Who will inherit the home in the event of his death?

 

I can understand his desire to keep his inheritance as his inheritance, but maybe his inheritance should be invested in something other than the family home. Maybe you could plan to sell this home and buy another together when you are able to contribute?

[Nessienu]

Thank you NoraJean... yes, I am concerned with his motivations for not wanting to put my name on title. I honestly don't care about the money. It is his separate money. He has had it for over a year and I have not asked for a penny and he hasn't offered. He still gives me "just enough" to pay the household bills, but if any unexpected expenses, e.g. utilities are more, groceries, etc... I cover those.

 

The home will be our marital home and I feel I should have "ownership" status as opposed to "renter status". Again, I don't think he's doing this in contemplation of a divorce. I think our marriage is very stable. He could be doing this as a "just in case things don't work out". I will talk to him and see what are his concerns, fears. etc...

[beenburned]

In almost all states, inheritances are separate property, as long as they are not put in joint accounts.

 

I have seen people that have large farms or ranches with many acres of family land, that put them in trusts, so it will remain in the family even after their death.

 

If I personally had inherited a sum large enough to buy a house with cash, I would never put another person's name on the title.

 

I would also protect the asset in a will (in case I died first), leaving it to my spouse, or my children(if spouse was dead).

[soserious1]

Thank you NoraJean... yes, I am concerned with his motivations for not wanting to put my name on title. I honestly don't care about the money. It is his separate money. He has had it for over a year and I have not asked for a penny and he hasn't offered. He still gives me "just enough" to pay the household bills, but if any unexpected expenses, e.g. utilities are more, groceries, etc... I cover those.

 

The home will be our marital home and I feel I should have "ownership" status as opposed to "renter status". Again, I don't think he's doing this in contemplation of a divorce. I think our marriage is very stable. He could be doing this as a "just in case things don't work out". I will talk to him and see what are his concerns, fears. etc...

 

 

Thing is you aren't even a "renter" he's repaid his debt to you by supporting you for the same 2 year time frame that you supported him.Why should you be considered an "owner" of a property you've paid nothing towards?

 

 

Sorry but I'm a divorced, alimony paying woman, the only thing I walked away from the marriage with was my home which I owned outright. My Ex & his lawyer tried every legal trick in the book to get the judge to order me to sell it & give half to him.

[Diamonds&Rust]

The home will be our marital home and I feel I should have "ownership" status as opposed to "renter status".

People usually gain "ownership" through "buying stuff," like your husband did with this house.

 

When you say, with regards to his inheritance, "I have not asked for a penny and he hasn't offered," it's confusing to me; if you ask to be put on the title of this home, you're asking for his inheritance. He's just converting his liquid assets into one that you guys can live in for now.

 

It's not that he won't put you on the title for your house together. It's that he won't share ownership of the house he just bought. Right?

Maybe you could plan to sell this home and buy another together when you are able to contribute?

That sounds like a good idea.

[OttawaMan]

When you start generating income after you have completed school you could always invest in your own real estate and keep it separate from his? Probably not ideal, but it gives you the investment security of owning your own real estate (as secure as that may or may not be at this time).

[beenburned]

OM,

But there is a huge difference between his inheritance, and her earnings in the future.

 

Any assets earned during the marriage, are marital assets, subject to the divorce laws of your state.(someone said AZ is a community property state)

 

But inheritances are always separate property, unless the spouse chooses to share them.

[setsenia]

In a lot of states money that a spouse inherits does NOT become property of the marriage unless the spouse co-mingles it in accounts shared by both spouses. Your husband has every right to enjoy his inheritance & to keep the asset separate.

 

You are right. I learned in my Real Estate course that things such as inheritances and trusts never become community property, even if it's inherited during marriage. It makes sense for him to have his own name on the property IF you are not helping him with the mortgage payments. If you are helping pay the mortgage on a title that does not belong to you, in the event of a divorce, you would get nothing. I'd say it seems reasonable IF he is the one who will be paying the mortgage. He can enjoy his assest. My husband has a trust from when his father passed and it paid for his car, (has only his name, but said he will add me as soon as it's paid off) but that's okay with me, because if anything were to happen to him, I didn't want to be respinsible for the debt if I was unable to pay. (haven't had a decent paying job until now and 2 more years left on the car payment). I have helped him with a few car payments while unemployed and that is because we share one car and I need to get to work, so I think helping with that is fair, LOL. We regret not moving out of the area sooner, otherwise he would have enough to put down on a house when he's 30 and then we could both pay the mortgage. But if he refuses to put your name on the title, that's fine. Don't ever help him with the mortgage payments unless it comes down to where you might lose the roof over your head. But in that event, you should be paying for a place of your own.

 

No joint accounts? My husband and I each have a joint account and single accounts. How do you pay your bills? Although, since I'm the one working right now, I keep my check in my account, because there's been too many issues with leaving my check in the joint account. In ex: which bills need to be paid and lack of communication resulting in overdraft charges.

[denise_xo]

Like xxoo said, I think the best way to address this would be to buy a new home jointly in the future after you are done with your studies, and then perhaps he can rent out the property he is currently buying. I just don't see how you can make a claim on this property when he is paying for it outright with his inheritance.

[PinkInTheLimo]

Welcome to the year 2012. These days, you have to work for things, not just get them.

 

If you don't contribute in any way, why the hell do you think you are entitled to receiving a house, just like that? If you leave your husband, you can take 50% of this house from him while he paid 100% of it!