I'll call it...jealousy lite.

[Fallen_Angel]

[font=arial][/font][color=blue][/color]If this is too long, I apologize. I tend to go off on tangents.

 

Once upon a time I became really good friends with this guy (I'll call him X). We dated for about 6 weeks before he randomly dumped me. I was devastated. I should add that at the time, I had only had one previous relationship and that was years earlier and it didn't last long either.

 

X and I really bonded; we had both had bad experiences with the opposite sex (mainly of the unrequited love variety) so I guess it seemed natural that the two of us should date. We used to stay up all night talking about every topic under the sun. We laughed at the same things, we had a similar outlook on life, we finished each others sentences. I had never been happier, but as I said, he ended it and I didn't take it well at all.

 

All told, it took me about a year to get over him. Why? I made the dumbest mistake of all - he still wanted our close friendship, but he thought I wouldn't have a problem shelving my romantic feelings. (Actually, my opinion was that he was just greedy!) Anyhow, I pretended as if I was over him, and we still hung out a lot, but it was torture.

 

About a year after he dumped me, I met another (absolutely wonderful) guy and we've been together ever since. (Three whole years! Well, for someone who'd never had a previous serious relationship...wow!) I got into a fight with X not long after I began dating my current boyfriend. X said things along the lines of "I don't get to see you as much," etc., leading me to believe he was a little jealous. He also brought up our breakup for the first time in a long while. We didn't talk for a few months but then he apologized and since then things have been great.

 

Alright, so that's the background (the Cliffs Notes version, anyway!). This past fall X broke up with his girlfriend; it was one of those on again, off again sort of things but this time it was for good. He took it pretty well, at least from what I could gather. Recently he started talking to a girl he met online. He called me the other day and couldn't stop talking about her. I want to stress that I AM happy he's met someone. Granted, I think I'll always hold a little grudge over the way he broke my heart, but it's been almost 4 years.

 

My thing is...all during this conversation where he's telling me about the new girl, I keep flashing back to when X and I first became close...because his story basically mimicked what happened when he and I first started talking! Late night conversations, reading the others mind, liking the same TV shows/music/etal...yup, total deja vu. Why is it that I want him to somehow acknowledge the similarities? (I should also mention that he NEVER, EVER brings up the fact that we once dated. To me it seems like he has erased those 6 weeks from his memory...and yes, this is a non-sequitur, but we did see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind recently & I highly recommend it...ok, there's a tangent!).

 

Any thoughts?

[sickofit]

ok, i don't think he's trying to be insensitive to you or your past together. the six weeks probably wasn't long enough for him to take it too seriously and he just thinks of you as a really great friend. the fact that he gets along with this new girl so well and has a lot in common with her as he did with you isn't necessarily relevant. sometimes even if it all seems to be there on paper, it's not there in the mind or heart. and just because one person is so sure they are right for each other, doesn't mean the other person see's it that way.

[Debster]

IF you are as happy as you claim with your boyfriend of three years, you would just be happy for me. The fact that you want him to acknowledge a 6 week relationship after a number of years makes me think that you are NOT over him.