YoungBeauty Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I am in a casual relationship with a guy who I work with. I care for him so much and see him as the most important and wonderful person in my life. However, I keep sabotaging things with my temper. Whenever something doesn't go my way, be it at home or out socially or at work, I get stroppy and treat him coldly. I don't know where this behaviour stems from (any ideas?) and it feels like I am powerless to stop it. When I feel myself getting angry or upset over something (and it usually isn't his direct fault), I try to seperate myself from the situation or walk away, but almost invariably I end up lashing out. What is wrong with me? How can I change?? I hate that I am ruining the only good thing in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs.sarah Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I do the same thing with my husband. He also does it with me. We were recently talking about how we both do this and we came to the conclusion that we come home stressed and take it out on eachother. We have both in the past said some things that we later regret. I'm glad we talked about our problem because now we are venting in a more constructive manner. We calmly discuss our day or whats bothering us. Yes one of us still explodes now and then, but we understand eachother. I suggest you discuss it with him. Tell him that you don't mean to take it out on him, but you trust him and know he's there for you. Good luck with everything! Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 I used to behave the same way. I still do sometimes, if I'm not careful. I had a bad temper. When a difficult situation came up between me and someone I was involved with, I would get scared, and my feelings were coming to me faster then logical thought was. It caused me a lot of problems-I hurt many people many times that I truly love. I started purposely slowing down the events. For example, if you're walking along with this guy, and you feel that 'stroppy' feeling coming on, just stop. Try to stop reacting emotionally and think. Make sure to slow down any verbal reactions, and say only what you have thought through. It's very difficult and awkward at first. It feels unnatural. But after you do it for a while, it becomes habit, and it goes much more smoothly. I still use this method to keep my nasty side in check I'd suggest talking to this guy and telling him the problem you're having, and your plans to try to correct it. He will probably feel flattered that you care enough about him to try to change, and should be patient with you, and helpful, too. Good luck! I know what you're going through, and it's not easy. But if you conquer it, you'll be amazed at how good you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss lil Amie Posted June 10, 2004 Share Posted June 10, 2004 Well first off it all depends on how old you are! If your still a teenager then it's probably because you are getting all these emotions and all you feel like you can do is yell and scream at someone who you feel loves you..sometimes it's probably like a tester to see if you could trust him..I don't know exactly what your case is but don't worry too much about it. This happens to everyone now and then..it's just a way to vent..it might piss that person off but if they truley love you then they'll understand! Sorry if this came off as rude..it's not meant to! Keep it real Link to post Share on other sites
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