nick d Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I dont know about everyone else, but for some reason I hope my ex tries to contact me. Even though I wouldn't respond, I think it would just make me feel good. I changed my number and deleted Facebook, but I still find myself checking my email everyday.. Even though I'm sure she'll never contact me.. I'm just dumb like that I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
Dragonsden Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I dont use my personal phone anymore so I have put it away. And I dont care about facebook so I havent logged on in a long time. Even if she does I wont know until .... whenever ... Link to post Share on other sites
LSgirl Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Sad to say, yes. It would make me feel better, but it would make me emotional again. I can be blindly optimistic and may take the contact in a way that is not real. I'm 15 days NC (half a month!) since the day of the breakup. I'm proud I've made it this far. However, he did reach out to me twice in the first weak but haven't heard a word from him since but that's probably a good thing. Everyday when I check my regular mail, I hope there's a letter from him pouring his heart out. Why would I even want that, my heart hasn't caught up with my head yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minee Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 how can you not use your personal phone anymore?? OMG i LIVE by my phone. I think at all times the phone is no more than 5 feet away from me JUST IN CASE. Nick, I think everyone who is doing the NC feels the same.. we deep down inside hope that our exes would call.. why else would it be hard?? I just came back from running and let me tell you, it doesn't make me feel good. Running is supposed to clear the mind but for some reason it just makes me tired because I cant push the thought of my ex away. I feel like im going through an emotional rollercoaster... one minute i feel like i'll be okay, next minute im going crazy and i start crying. UGH take me off this rollercoaster i think im going to barf already! Link to post Share on other sites
xKitty Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I am the only person who doesn't want my ex to contact me. Well this is a first, because i get mistreated too much, and emotional burden is too much. Whenever my ex look for me its always making me feel bad and put me down. I wish my ex wouldnt contact me until I have moved on. If you still wish for contact during NC it means you still wish that something would happen--which defeats the purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 We all want the ex to contact us, just for an ego boost. It is amazing that you can have no intention of getting back together, yet you will obsess over an ex. However, if they reach out or you find out they are hurting over you, it makes you feel better and you don't obsess as much. I am like Kitty. There comes a point when you know it is over for good and contact from an ex will either set you back or do nothing. You get to the point where you never hope to hear from them again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xKitty Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 We all want the ex to contact us, just for an ego boost. It is amazing that you can have no intention of getting back together, yet you will obsess over an ex. However, if they reach out or you find out they are hurting over you, it makes you feel better and you don't obsess as much. I am like Kitty. There comes a point when you know it is over for good and contact from an ex will either set you back or do nothing. You get to the point where you never hope to hear from them again. Yeah, I used to wish for contact during my NC cuz I only used NC to make my ex want me more. With my recent EX, ive been through hell and I am still goin over. Starting my NC right now hopefully i wont go soft and answering the calls or replying the messages or initiating the contact. Because its to the point where i am going insane and is emotionally stressed during the time i am AWAKE. I dont want my ex to contact me anymore and I wish I can move out of my country faster to get it over with ! Link to post Share on other sites
stimson554 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 some can try to deny it, but we all want that contact, my ex reached out to me, but i had moved on so i told her to shove it pretty much, made me feel a hell of a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
rootless Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) I used to. A lot. Now, I'm at the point where I just want to be free of the experience entirely. If I could figure out a way to safely give myself a selective lobotomy with household utensils, I would. I miss the "old her". And I do yearn for that, periodically. But the "new" her is enormously disappointing. And the sad truth is, one version was probably just a mask for the other. Honestly, I'm done. I just wanna get past it. Edited March 14, 2012 by rootless Link to post Share on other sites
Author nick d Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 I used to. A lot. Now, I'm at the point where I just want to be free of the experience entirely. If I could figure out a way to safely give myself a selective lobotomy with household utensils, I would. I miss the "old her". And I do yearn for that, periodically. But the "new" her is enormously disappointing. And the sad truth is, one version was probably just a mask for the other. Honestly, I'm done. I just wanna get past it. That's how I feel too! I think the new version is the REAL her and she just put on an act before. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Trouble is, that contact does give us a quick ego boost, that happy feeling, but then it turns to feeling even worse as most often those little contacts are nothing more than them seeking their own ego boost - wanting to know you're still there despite how they've treated you. Best thing to do with this contact (bread crumbs) is always ignore it, but I know how hard that can be. Link to post Share on other sites
pacman81 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Every single day...But I want to be back with my ex more than anything. But with the way things were left its up to her to contact me...i will not be breaking NC. Everyday i go through a feeling of "is today going to be the day she reaches out?" And everyday I go through the disappointment it wasnt. We are going on 1 month NC. Link to post Share on other sites
charliecakes Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Well my ex of 3.5 years went off with someone else (and messed me around for over a month, saying he wanted to get back together etc.)...and we'd had no contact for past 5 weeks and I broke it today I'm so mad with myself Link to post Share on other sites
Cmac Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Honestly, deep down...yes I do. I don't even know what I'd say in reply, if anything. Would just be nice to know she actually cares. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nick d Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Honestly, deep down...yes I do. I don't even know what I'd say in reply, if anything. Would just be nice to know she actually cares. EXACTLY how I feel man.. Link to post Share on other sites
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Honestly, deep down...yes I do. I don't even know what I'd say in reply, if anything. Would just be nice to know she actually cares. Sometimes I do but then I know that will just set me back from healing. In a way I do but then in a way, I don't. I'd like to know that he still cares about me but at the same time, I don't want to be feeding HIS ego. Even though the breakup was "mutual"...feelings got all emotional and all of that s**t. He had the chances to make things "right" for a while and he just didn't care to do anything about it. I told him what the issues were that were making me feel the way I felt, but he just didn't want to do anything or just got lazy. Probably both. He has a new gf now and I have a new bf and we've basically said we was "moving on"....however, he was still texting/calling just to say Hi or whatever. This is my 3rd day of NC and it's tough a little bit, I'll start thinking about the good times, I get panic attacks when I am driving in town bc he is well known and drives in these areas alot. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to run into him or them both (I don't know his gf, don't know what she looks like)....and I know evetually it's going to happen one day. Do I wish he would contact me? Sometimes but then I really don't know what to say. I guess what they say is true, silence is deafening. Who knows...maybe if more time passes and I'm able to heal more and more everyday, my feelings about him contacting will be different. I don't want false hopes. Link to post Share on other sites
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Well my ex of 3.5 years went off with someone else (and messed me around for over a month, saying he wanted to get back together etc.)...and we'd had no contact for past 5 weeks and I broke it today I'm so mad with myself Don't beat yourself up hun....we've all done it. Just pick up and re-establish the NC ....all of us have been thru it, we are all human Link to post Share on other sites
pacman81 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 For those of you who are wanting to hear back from your ex...are you just hoping you hear from them or honestly expecting to hear from them? Not only do i want to hear from my ex but deep down i believe i am going to...not hearing from her necessarily in the sense that she wants to get back together or anything...but just hearing from her period based on how we left things. As i posted earlier this is making things so difficult because everyday I wonder if today will be the day i hear from her...and every time my phone alerts me i have a text or email first thing that goes through my mind is wondering if its her...even though its been a month since any contact. I know i need to have the mentality that she is never going to call and if she does great...but its so hard to have that when your still at the point you dont believe thats possible. Anyone go through or are going through something similar? my situation http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/317199-felt-i-should-post-my-story Link to post Share on other sites
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 For those of you who are wanting to hear back from your ex...are you just hoping you hear from them or honestly expecting to hear from them? Not only do i want to hear from my ex but deep down i believe i am going to...not hearing from her necessarily in the sense that she wants to get back together or anything...but just hearing from her period based on how we left things. As i posted earlier this is making things so difficult because everyday I wonder if today will be the day i hear from her...and every time my phone alerts me i have a text or email first thing that goes through my mind is wondering if its her...even though its been a month since any contact. I know i need to have the mentality that she is never going to call and if she does great...but its so hard to have that when your still at the point you dont believe thats possible. Anyone go through or are going through something similar? my situation http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/317199-felt-i-should-post-my-story I can relate. When I get a txt, I'm like...is it him? Part of me gets like ..here we go again...when I do get one but then at the same time, it's like...he cares about me enough to say Hi but then it's like, why is he texting me for? The thing is this tho, he was the ONE texting/calling....the last call he made was Monday a.m., I rejected the call, he didn't leave a vm like he usually does, but sent a text asking if I was feeling better bc we had a "disagreement" I guess Sunday and my last text Sunday was this...."delete my number, quit acting like you give a damn".......so maybe when he realized Monday that I didn't reply....maybe he's gotten the hint. I am trying SO hard not to cave in and find out how he is doing, our breakup was not on good terms.....I keep telling myself I am doing the right thing but it's still fresh. I've deleted his number, his text msgs, but unfortunately when I do send a txt to any1, it'll say send txt to contacts or 'recent' contacts and his damn name and number is right there, in memory and I can't delete it lol. I'm using every avenue to put it out of my mind and like literally FORGET the number. It's crazy! Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 in the beginning yes. now - - not really. i still have him on my yahoo friends list. because well - - there is a small part of me that would like to know he's alive and breathing. but i'm happy knowing that much. outside of that - - i don't really have any interest in reaching out to him or hearing from him... Link to post Share on other sites
mississippimom Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 in the beginning yes. now - - not really. i still have him on my yahoo friends list. because well - - there is a small part of me that would like to know he's alive and breathing. but i'm happy knowing that much. outside of that - - i don't really have any interest in reaching out to him or hearing from him... Hope I can get to that point! Where I just don't give a F***....in one way I do, then I don't. My guy best friend of 3 years, who is now my new bf, will be moving to my town in 3 weeks so hopefully he will help me erase the exbf from my mind bc obviously the exbf has a new gf who is helping him obviously. It was a mind game tug of war we had going there for a while. Even though I do care for my bf I have now, I just don't want to bring all of this bitterness into the new relationship, so maybe it's best that the exbf doesn't contact me because it's just going to harbor feelings and f*** with my mind and heart. Do I want the exbf back? No because my bf now, has shown me that he's more of a MAN than the exbf was. Oh wait, the exbf wasn't a REAL man! Ugh. Thank the LORD for this board, I'd be driving myself nuts if it wasn't for checking this place out! It's good to know that I am NOT alone out there. Link to post Share on other sites
Cmac Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 For those of you who are wanting to hear back from your ex...are you just hoping you hear from them or honestly expecting to hear from them? For me, I genuinely never expect to hear from her again. If I ever get a text message I never sit there and think "Oh what if it's her" before I read it, I know it won't be. So yeah for me it is just hope that some day I will, even though I feel like it is extremely unlikely. I've been having health problems recently and ended up in hospital for a couple of days at the start of January. My ex knew about it and even then I never even got so much as a text message asking how I was doing, so yeah, if I can't even get a text out of her for that I doubt she'll ever care enough to send me a casual "How you doin?" text. Link to post Share on other sites
bluewolf17 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I do. Each day that goes by where I don't hear from him, just makes me feel ****tier and ****tier. At the same time, I don't know if I could trust him anyways. I guess I just want another oppurtunity to not reply to his contact. Link to post Share on other sites
pacman81 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I guess I just want another oppurtunity to not reply to his contact. That makes me wonder if part of the reason so many people want to hear from their EX even if they dont care about them is just to prove they are strong and can hold to NC and show their ex they have moved on (Whether they have or not is another story) Link to post Share on other sites
minee Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 i dont know about you guys, but i secretly wish and hope my ex calls me. At first I was thinking, it'd be nice to show him whose boss since I'm determined NOT to answer his calls.. but now that I think about it.. i dont think im strong enough to ignore his calls. I think i'll just cave in and call him because I've been wanting to hear from him for so long.. UGH MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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