xMunchx Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 I was in an abusive relationship when i was 15 with a man who was 8 years older than me. The abuse was physical, emotional and on one occasion sexual. It lasted a year and ended very badly. After that he spent 9 months in prison and as far as i know he now lives in London (which is far away from me). Through the years my ability to cope has greatly increased, at first i found it incredibly difficult and ended up spending 2 years in which i drank far too much (with friends) and became nothing short of horrible for my parents to deal with. Now I am 22 years old and memories of him still pop into my head on a daily basis but only for a very short time, as i just push it away and carry on with my daily duties. However, I have had 2 nightmares about him in the last 2 weeks and had another one last night. They seem so real and his face and voice are as clear as if i had just seen him yesterday. These i am finding hard to deal with. It's like watching the worst moments of my life in a movie and I cant wake up. It plays on my mind throughout the next day and greatly effects my productivity. I cant concentrate on usual daily tasks or even give my 2 year old daughter the full attention she needs which i am ashamed to admit. I just force myself to idly play with her and when i cant take anymore i just put the tv on for her just so she will leave me alone. This is not the kind of mother I am. I dont understand why these dreams are effecting me so badly and i just need them to stop. Has anyone else here been through the same kind of thing and know how to get past it? or know why these dreams have started after so many years? Thank you for taking the time to read this. ANY help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You are describing classic PTSD. A very effective treatment, in a whole battery is EMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I would strongly urge you see a therapist that is trained in PTSD. What happen to you was not your fault & you where a child at the time. You survived. Now is the time to get help & get better. This isn't something you did to yourself & it isn't something you can come to terms with on your own. I wont go into the details of my life other than to say that I counseled other people for nearly 10 years before I got help for myself. My biggest regret was I lived with my demons for 10 more years than I needed to. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) As to why the dreams have started now; It's hard to say & largely unimportant. If I had to guess, a pretty safe bet is that something triggered them. The mention of his name, hearing a news report, it could have been almost anything & as I said; that is largely unimportant. What is important is that you get help for unresolved issues. I've known people who successfully repressed traumatic events for more than 30 years only to have them surface again. I'm not saying that to scare you at all as these people where successfully treated, the reason I'm telling you is so you know that suppressing & denying is not the same as resolving. Edited March 14, 2012 by oldguy Link to post Share on other sites
Author xMunchx Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Thank you for your reply and after reading what you have said i realise that i do really need to look into your suggestion. I don't want to live out the rest of my life with moments like these. In the past i have found it difficult to talk to people about it face to face for fear of being judged but right now i want nothing more than to put it all behind me so i think it is time i bit the bullet and sought help. Thank you so much for your response. It is very much appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Thank you. I'm glad it helped. I wish you the best & if you have any questions feel free to PM me if you like. I'm not always here but often so I will get back to you. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
rn0408 Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I was in an abusive relationship when i was 15 with a man who was 8 years older than me. The abuse was physical, emotional and on one occasion sexual. It lasted a year and ended very badly. After that he spent 9 months in prison and as far as i know he now lives in London (which is far away from me). Through the years my ability to cope has greatly increased, at first i found it incredibly difficult and ended up spending 2 years in which i drank far too much (with friends) and became nothing short of horrible for my parents to deal with. Now I am 22 years old and memories of him still pop into my head on a daily basis but only for a very short time, as i just push it away and carry on with my daily duties. However, I have had 2 nightmares about him in the last 2 weeks and had another one last night. They seem so real and his face and voice are as clear as if i had just seen him yesterday. These i am finding hard to deal with. It's like watching the worst moments of my life in a movie and I cant wake up. It plays on my mind throughout the next day and greatly effects my productivity. I cant concentrate on usual daily tasks or even give my 2 year old daughter the full attention she needs which i am ashamed to admit. I just force myself to idly play with her and when i cant take anymore i just put the tv on for her just so she will leave me alone. This is not the kind of mother I am. I dont understand why these dreams are effecting me so badly and i just need them to stop. Has anyone else here been through the same kind of thing and know how to get past it? or know why these dreams have started after so many years? Thank you for taking the time to read this. ANY help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Yes. I just recently broke up with my ex who possibly has BPD. I had dreams she stabbed me with a fork in the arm and put hemlock in wine I drank. Link to post Share on other sites
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