gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 (edited) I was dating this man for a year and we would constantly send each other presents and love letters about a week ago he tried to break it off and then took it back. I was wary, but he sent me this email confessing his love for me and how he loves being with me. so I hesitantly took him back and the next week was great. he and i talked about how we missed each other so much and loved each other. the next thing I know he comes over and acts slightly stand offish while I was hugging and kissing him. we sit down and he says he might not be as passionate as I am and that he can either stay, see how things go tonight, or leave and think about what he wants for a week. I tell him to get out and delete everything of him. the next day I call him and he gives me the; I like you a lot, but I don't love you anymore I say okay, he suggests we still be friends, I say no (we were never friends before, why would i want to be friends now?) about 2 days later he txts me and asks if he is allowed to comment on my stuff on fb so I call him up and pretty much say; "I love you very much, and even if you told me you dont love me I can't believe it. I think you shouldn't attempt to talk with me for a month, figure out yourself on your own. I have deleted every contact I have with you and will not contact you. This is goodbye for a while" he just sadly listened and said goodbye as well. He has also told me before, when he gets overwhelmed with life he does stuff like he's doing now. He had a whole lot change in his life just this month and he has been so busy with drama past few years that was just now ending he had no time to think about what he wants with life. I truly think he just needs time to find himself without the responsibility of a girlfriend and maybe one day he'll call me again. it hurts so much now and I am trying to move on... but I just want him to call me and apologize and say he loves me so I can respond; I still think you need the time to yourself Edited March 14, 2012 by gotye with is now without Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 So you want him to call so you can reject him? Just worry about moving on for now. Focus on yourself so that you can find peace and acceptance with the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 So you want him to call so you can reject him? Just worry about moving on for now. Focus on yourself so that you can find peace and acceptance with the situation. ----------------------------------------------------------------- no, I just want to know if he took what I said on the phone seriously and will consider it, I want to know soon too because it hurts but I know even if I would get that contact soon, he would still need time to himself without me Link to post Share on other sites
pacman81 Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 no, I just want to know if he took what I said on the phone seriously and will consider it, I want to know soon too because it hurts but I know even if I would get that contact soon, he would still need time to himself without me You told him not to contact you for a month and figure himself out...not hearing from him means he is taking it seriously...thats at least how i would see it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 You told him not to contact you for a month and figure himself out...not hearing from him means he is taking it seriously...thats at least how i would see it. yes, so true... I just can't stop wondering if he will consider it or just will forget me or txt me hoping to just be friends but maybe in a month i will have moved on Link to post Share on other sites
GKM Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 Just try keep yourself very busy doing other things and let him sort out his issues on his end, there isnt anything else you can do!! Also- you dont want someone who isnt strong during stressful periods in life, if you really want a life partner. My ex broke up with me after his first 90 hours of being on shift during a week- without having the maturity to realize maybe he should wait until he was less stressed to make a better decision. BUT then again you need somone who can handle stress and not let it interfere too much with your relationship!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Just try keep yourself very busy doing other things and let him sort out his issues on his end, there isnt anything else you can do!! Also- you dont want someone who isnt strong during stressful periods in life, if you really want a life partner. My ex broke up with me after his first 90 hours of being on shift during a week- without having the maturity to realize maybe he should wait until he was less stressed to make a better decision. BUT then again you need somone who can handle stress and not let it interfere too much with your relationship!! well to be fair, he lost his entire like like 3 yrs ago and was forced to work ridiculous amounts to get htings back together and never really sleeped during that time. and now that he has time to actually breath I don't think he needs to feel like he is responsible to me 24/7 I recall him never knowing what he wanted to do or having any serious beliefs because he literally lost everything and had no time to build himself back... so I think he needs himself without me to figure out what besides me will make him happy. Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 You don't need someone who is going to bail or get cold feet with the relationship whenever he's going through a tough time. Good riddance. Don't waste your time with guys like that. When times get tough, people are supposed to seek out their SO for comfort and support, not push them away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gotye Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 You don't need someone who is going to bail or get cold feet with the relationship whenever he's going through a tough time. Good riddance. Don't waste your time with guys like that. When times get tough, people are supposed to seek out their SO for comfort and support, not push them away. i still want him but i will try to tell myself this until I am happy without him. I need to stop telling myself he will call or he won't call or that he hates me or that he truly loves me none of those things matter, I just gotta live Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted March 14, 2012 Share Posted March 14, 2012 i still want him but i will try to tell myself this until I am happy without him. I need to stop telling myself he will call or he won't call or that he hates me or that he truly loves me none of those things matter, I just gotta live I know you want to hold onto the good things about the guy, but you really can't ignore the big red flag that has appeared here. If a guy's inclination is to run away or abandon you or distance himself from you when he's under stress, then there's something wrong there, and all the good will not make up for that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Thatguyintx Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 I know you want to hold onto the good things about the guy, but you really can't ignore the big red flag that has appeared here. If a guy's inclination is to run away or abandon you or distance himself from you when he's under stress, then there's something wrong there, and all the good will not make up for that. A-FREAKING-MEN! I was with a woman who crumbled under stress and folded into herself in tough situations. She made me feel so unvalued by not sharing her issues and letting me in to the inner part of her life. Be thankful he showed you this tendency before you got married! Link to post Share on other sites
Author gotye Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 A-FREAKING-MEN! I was with a woman who crumbled under stress and folded into herself in tough situations. She made me feel so unvalued by not sharing her issues and letting me in to the inner part of her life. Be thankful he showed you this tendency before you got married! he actually is usually really good at it and let me in a lot. but I remember him talking about finding things to do now that he has more free time but he was worried about having time to see me as well. I feel like he needs to go do those things on his own. during this time I think I am going to open myself up on market for fun and go out and do my own thing as well. I will still always love him and all that garbage but no way can I get over it if I think waiting around for him to realize will work out. he won't want me if he thinks I can't live without him and I won't be done with him if I sit around for him Link to post Share on other sites
rAFC Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 You don't need someone who is going to bail or get cold feet with the relationship whenever he's going through a tough time. Good riddance. Don't waste your time with guys like that. When times get tough, people are supposed to seek out their SO for comfort and support, not push them away. Exactly! I can't stress the wisdom of this post enough! Link to post Share on other sites
jackmartin199030 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Okay, so after being dumped by my seven month long boyfriend, I took it hard. Very hard to be honest and I thought it was the end of the world. I gave it a few days, almost a week now and I am okay, emotionally, I just want him back. Sadly there are some awkward situations and some issues... . he said he wanted to be friends, but he wont talk to me at all! -- Ive come to terms with being friends. I dont want him out of my life. Infact by being friends maybe we could have a second chance...he just wont talk to me though! It seems he even avoids me. We were in a LDR and now he moved servers on WoW, and logs off facebook when I get on. I asked his brother [who is discussed in my awkward situation below] if he hated me now and his response was that Josh [ex boyfriend] didnt hate me, he was frustrated and afriad I was still super emo. Link to post Share on other sites
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