Who has been homeless?

[Seneca]

I'm just curious to know who has experienced this. I would like to hear your stories of how you came to be homeless and how or if you got out of it.

[Nightsky]

Define homeless? Like living on the streets. Only way it could happen to some one is if they were addicted to drugs or alcohol or wanted to be homeless. Friends or family would take most honest people in. If you had no friends or family charitable organizations exist that sole purpose is to house people. So you either have to want to be homeless or be addicted to drugs. (which of course many people are addicted)

[dreamingoftigers]

I was never technically homeless but my husband was for 10 years.

 

We met because he panhandled change off of me.

 

His homeless journey started as such:

 

Abandoned in infancy, his grandmother pulled him from the foster system.

 

She was really abusive/shaming and he ended up back in foster care.

 

In that foster home they did not take care of him and he used to ask the other kids for change and lunch in the line at school. His foster parents also taught him how to hitch-hike to school. Plus they routinely gave him alcohol. His foster father was a former inmate who used to do shots with him (at the age of 14).

 

When he inevitably dropped out, he floated down to the streets in Toronto.

 

From there he panned and hitchhiked and lived across the country for about 10 years. Halifax, Ottawa, Montreal, Sherbrooke, Thunder bay, Winnipeg, Regina, Calgary, Edmonton, and short stints in BC.

 

Then he met me in Kamloops

 

He quit drinking that week and we went up North. After that he ordered his ID to my address. Later, he signed a lease there and we moved in together. We got married a year and one day to the year we met.

[CarrieT]

I was homeless for 4 1/2 months after the Northridge earthquake.

 

I lost everything except for a handful of items that fit into my car. I was estranged from my family at the time so while they knew I was alive and okay, I wouldn't swallow my pride to accept their help. I stood in food lines and often lived on a single 12" Submarine sandwich a day.

 

I was unemployed because I was a full-time grad student, but much because Cal State Northridge was so damaged, I was able to transfer to Cal State Long Beach for some of my classes. I would drive back-and-forth between the two schools, sleeping in my car and showering at the school gym.

 

It was complicated, but there was no FEMA aid and it took several months to get assistance in the form of food stamps and from the Housing Authority. The latter eventually helped me get an apartment. It took me several years to pull myself out of the whole to be able to buy furnishings and whatnot.

[Ross MwcFan]

Define homeless? Like living on the streets. Only way it could happen to some one is if they were addicted to drugs or alcohol or wanted to be homeless. Friends or family would take most honest people in. If you had no friends or family charitable organizations exist that sole purpose is to house people. So you either have to want to be homeless or be addicted to drugs. (which of course many people are addicted)

 

What if you didn't know about these organizations or where to find them?

[Nightsky]

What if you didn't know about these organizations or where to find them?

 

I have multiple friends and family so if things got bad enough I'd have to swallow my pride and depend on their charity to avoid being what I consider truely homeless... as I do consider living with family or friends out of charity to be a form of homelessness but not what I think this thread is talking about.

 

If I lost my home and had zero friends or family I would go to a church or a place I thought was safe and ask them for advice. We have organizations that help the homeless around here so I would also contact them for advice if I was in a situation where I was going to be forced to live in my car.

[Seneca]

@dreamingoftigers - wow what a neat story. Your husband must be a very strong person to deal with such hardships.

 

@carriet - thank you for sharing your story! I always wonder about what steps to take if I ever ended up being homeless.

 

@nightsky - thank you for your ideas. I never thought about going to a church or about contacting organizations for help.

 

I used to be afraid of being homeless. I enjoy the comfort of material things too much. I understand that it can be tough, but I will not know how tough unless I truly experience it. So I am just curious on how people do it. I'm really interested in learning from former homeless people on how they successfully got out of their situations.

[woots31]

Define homeless? Like living on the streets. Only way it could happen to some one is if they were addicted to drugs or alcohol or wanted to be homeless. Friends or family would take most honest people in. If you had no friends or family charitable organizations exist that sole purpose is to house people. So you either have to want to be homeless or be addicted to drugs. (which of course many people are addicted)

This comment is complete and utter ignorance.

Yes people become addicted and suffer problems, but that is not all that makes you homeless. Yes friends and family can help but that is not your home. This economic crisis has hit many very hard and the callousness of this comment was extremely unnerving for me.

I spent a couple of weeks myself living in a car. My mother attacked me and tried to suffocate me and when I called the police they made me leave due to it being her house. I shortly there after got my tax returns and an apartment and did not talk to my mother for three years. Not because of any addiction problem or because I wanted to be homeless but there it happened and I survived. Not because of the kind generosity of others but by pulling my self up by my bootstraps. Sometimes I slept in the parking lot of my job other times I slept in hotels. I was ashamed, still am I guess and its because of people like the person that posted this comment.

[Woggle]

I slept on the streets for a few days but most of the time when I was struggling I stayed in a very cheap flop house.

[SmileFace]

I have always had some where I could have gone but I have spent nights at bus stations, sleeping at work(my boss knew I was there and wasn't going to give me a raise so yeah I slept at the office) and sleeping on family members couches. However this has all been by choice but a good choice. I rather struggle and suffer a few cold nights than move back somewhere that I felt emotional unhealthy. It is harder to get assistance when you have no kids and working. I have never recieved government assistance or turned to an organization of any sort. I just see it as a part of life, something I went through. I have only recently got a place and it is wonderful not logging around. 2 sets of clothes in case I couldn't get in the place I was staying.

[anne1707]

Define homeless? Like living on the streets. Only way it could happen to some one is if they were addicted to drugs or alcohol or wanted to be homeless. Friends or family would take most honest people in. If you had no friends or family charitable organizations exist that sole purpose is to house people. So you either have to want to be homeless or be addicted to drugs. (which of course many people are addicted)

 

What about those who are escaping from an abusive relationship (partner, parents, sibling) and just desperately don't want to be traced? What about those who are suffering from mental health issues?

 

There are a hell of a lot of people who end up homeless with no desire whatsoever to be in that position and are not addicts. The awful twist is that many become addicts once they start living on the streets as a means of hiding their pain

[dreamingoftigers]

There are definitely homeless situations that happen outside of addiction and fault!

 

Economic forces tend to hit the lowest earners the hardest.

 

A couple of items of note: yes my husband does have some very strong pinned to him and I actually like him quite a bit. However, last year he relapsed into alcohol use and he became very short-tempered to the point where he trashed our home. I tried to get myself and daughter into a shelter for 3 WEEKS. even the officer responding to the scene tried. She even tried areas 2 hours outside of the city (this city is one million plus people!)

 

Everywhere was full. I got turned away. Thousands of women do each year here in Calgary alone. Eventually social services took my daughter instead.

 

That smacked him upside the head (pun intended).

 

Another item of note:

 

Calgary was booming between 2000-2006. Alberta alone is the largest supplier of US oil. Jobs abounded here. Rental units did not and prices skyrocketed. Rent controls in Alberta? You must be kidding!

 

Everyday I would see people sleeping outside, like under train bridges or in little tent cities with cardboard signs up saying things like: "please wake me at 7:00 am so I can get to work. No joke."

 

I remember meeting a girl who worked two jobs and was making over 4K a month and lived in the tents because she couldn't find a place for a bit.

 

The homeless shelter became a place more to accept new workforce coming into the city. People were renting out couches.

 

Interesting times.

[Ariadne]

I have been homeless..

 

The last time was this past summer.

 

It happened that I came to LA after visiting my parents for months, to find that it was hard to get an apt without a job. I was approved for one with old renters, except that the apt was not vacant for another 2 months and I had to wait for it.

 

So I was living in the car. Occasionally staying with my ex husband who would let me shower and sleep over.

 

The most difficult thing is the shower problem. I had to go about this issue by going to the public pools, paying a small fee to get in and showering there.

 

Then spending the rest of the day at the park or libraries. At the park I had my tree (an oak tree) where I'd hang my hammac and read books or listen to music, and I would also have picnics at the park.

 

The library in college is open till midnight or so so you can spend as many hours there online. After a while you learn to recognize who is a student and who is just hanging there.

 

And at night I was allowed to park in someone's driveway so that made things a little safer.

 

After a while you get used to it and get a sense of freedom even because you are always on the go.

 

Then we got the apt which turned out to be worth the wait and moved in.

[Nightsky]

This comment is complete and utter ignorance.

Yes people become addicted and suffer problems, but that is not all that makes you homeless. Yes friends and family can help but that is not your home. This economic crisis has hit many very hard and the callousness of this comment was extremely unnerving for me.

I spent a couple of weeks myself living in a car. My mother attacked me and tried to suffocate me and when I called the police they made me leave due to it being her house. I shortly there after got my tax returns and an apartment and did not talk to my mother for three years. Not because of any addiction problem or because I wanted to be homeless but there it happened and I survived. Not because of the kind generosity of others but by pulling my self up by my bootstraps. Sometimes I slept in the parking lot of my job other times I slept in hotels. I was ashamed, still am I guess and its because of people like the person that posted this comment.

 

You didn't read what I wrote thats ok. You have a different definition of homeless then me and thats fine. Its all the semantics of communication I'm just here to share my thoughts not argue with me. In what you quoted I wrote define homeless. If you want to define homeless as staying in some ones house that you don't own or lease fine.

 

I'm sorry to hear you and your mom got in a physical confrontation and police made you leave. If you didn't want to look toward any one else for kindness or generosity that is on you. I don't think their should be any shame in needing help for people who really do need help. People who help get joy from helping those who need help. If you live in the USA you chose to be homeless. I realize you didn't choose to get in a physical fight with your mother and have her call the police on you... but you could have looked for charity from that point foward whether it be a friend or other family... or an organization.

 

I'm curious did you ask the police if they knew of any shelters so you wouldn't have to sleep in a car? Did you contact any churches or homeless help orginizations. I'm not saying you should have I'm just curious.

 

You don't need to be ashamed of getting into a bad situation. Swallow pride if it happens again.

 

I have always had some where I could have gone but I have spent nights at bus stations, sleeping at work(my boss knew I was there and wasn't going to give me a raise so yeah I slept at the office) and sleeping on family members couches. However this has all been by choice but a good choice. I rather struggle and suffer a few cold nights than move back somewhere that I felt emotional unhealthy. It is harder to get assistance when you have no kids and working. I have never recieved government assistance or turned to an organization of any sort. I just see it as a part of life, something I went through. I have only recently got a place and it is wonderful not logging around. 2 sets of clothes in case I couldn't get in the place I was staying.

 

Stop being so tough! You should ask for help if you get in that situation. I used to know people who would sleep on campus in a classroom over night.

 

What about those who are escaping from an abusive relationship (partner, parents, sibling) and just desperately don't want to be traced? What about those who are suffering from mental health issues?

 

There are a hell of a lot of people who end up homeless with no desire whatsoever to be in that position and are not addicts. The awful twist is that many become addicts once they start living on the streets as a means of hiding their pain

 

Bottom line I guess people are homeless an I don't agree with it in this country especialy. I realize people feel trapped for any number of reasons. There is help though.

 

There are definitely homeless situations that happen outside of addiction and fault!

 

Economic forces tend to hit the lowest earners the hardest.

 

A couple of items of note: yes my husband does have some very strong pinned to him and I actually like him quite a bit. However, last year he relapsed into alcohol use and he became very short-tempered to the point where he trashed our home. I tried to get myself and daughter into a shelter for 3 WEEKS. even the officer responding to the scene tried. She even tried areas 2 hours outside of the city (this city is one million plus people!)

 

Everywhere was full. I got turned away. Thousands of women do each year here in Calgary alone. Eventually social services took my daughter instead.

 

That smacked him upside the head (pun intended).

 

Another item of note:

 

Calgary was booming between 2000-2006. Alberta alone is the largest supplier of US oil. Jobs abounded here. Rental units did not and prices skyrocketed. Rent controls in Alberta? You must be kidding!

 

Everyday I would see people sleeping outside, like under train bridges or in little tent cities with cardboard signs up saying things like: "please wake me at 7:00 am so I can get to work. No joke."

 

I remember meeting a girl who worked two jobs and was making over 4K a month and lived in the tents because she couldn't find a place for a bit.

 

The homeless shelter became a place more to accept new workforce coming into the city. People were renting out couches.

 

Interesting times.

 

Oh I know there are people making 4k or nothing or what ever homeless. You'll always be able to find a person renting a room for as little as 100$ a week so with 4k she'd be able to get a place right away.

 

As for abuse and running away from some on thats more tricky. But in a perfect world police arrest a person like this. I know the world isn't perfect.

 

You're right people are homeless. I guess I just don't agree with it. I know I will never be what I consider homeless because I have no shame if it came to that. I'm lucky enough to have friends and family who wouldn't let that happen to me. I also know about orginizations but it wouldn't come to that for me.

 

I have been homeless..

 

The last time was this past summer.

 

It happened that I came to LA after visiting my parents for months, to find that it was hard to get an apt without a job. I was approved for one with old renters, except that the apt was not vacant for another 2 months and I had to wait for it.

 

So I was living in the car. Occasionally staying with my ex husband who would let me shower and sleep over.

 

The most difficult thing is the shower problem. I had to go about this issue by going to the public pools, paying a small fee to get in and showering there.

 

Then spending the rest of the day at the park or libraries. At the park I had my tree (an oak tree) where I'd hang my hammac and read books or listen to music, and I would also have picnics at the park.

 

The library in college is open till midnight or so so you can spend as many hours there online. After a while you learn to recognize who is a student and who is just hanging there.

 

And at night I was allowed to park in someone's driveway so that made things a little safer.

 

After a while you get used to it and get a sense of freedom even because you are always on the go.

 

Then we got the apt which turned out to be worth the wait and moved in.

 

I always notice the homeless people in the library public, and college ones. Its fine.

 

I agree its hard to get an apt with out a job but you can just say your self employed and put a projected income. Its what I do. Also we have alot of government subsidised houseing where no job or earning very little helps you get a place. I actualy like those places around where I live they are nice. Good things is once you get a job or start making a lot of money you don't have to leave. It's only when you are signing up you have to meet the requirement.

[dreamingoftigers]

Actually about the $100.00 per week room etc. That's completely unheard of here! And has been for years.

 

The lady I mentioned was by far not an exception, but rather part of a short-lived epidemic that the city had that summer in particular.

 

The sad part was that it extended into winter with a less then 1% vacancy rate and many people froze outside. One was an acquaintance of my then roommate.

 

Simply put, demand far exceeded supply. And in July it was next to impossible to find a hotel/motel room or even a rental car to be in at the time.

 

Ironically, there was STILL a labour shortage and many businesses closed due to lack of help.

 

Finding a $15 per hour job with no experience needed was as easy as walking into a place, and walking out with a job 15 minutes later. But almost no one wanted to work for that wage when you could get $20 up the street or $25 n the rigs. Help wanted signs everywhere.

 

Things have cooled for now but the city simply couldn't keep up.

[Nightsky]

Actually about the $100.00 per week room etc. That's completely unheard of here! And has been for years.

 

The lady I mentioned was by far not an exception, but rather part of a short-lived epidemic that the city had that summer in particular.

 

The sad part was that it extended into winter with a less then 1% vacancy rate and many people froze outside. One was an acquaintance of my then roommate.

 

Simply put, demand far exceeded supply. And in July it was next to impossible to find a hotel/motel room or even a rental car to be in at the time.

 

Ironically, there was STILL a labour shortage and many businesses closed due to lack of help.

 

Finding a $15 per hour job with no experience needed was as easy as walking into a place, and walking out with a job 15 minutes later. But almost no one wanted to work for that wage when you could get $20 up the street or $25 n the rigs. Help wanted signs everywhere.

 

Things have cooled for now but the city simply couldn't keep up.

 

Maybe I should move back to Canada. I hate the weather though.

 

Its all a confusing situation to me. I guess I can only speak for myself I would never be living on the streets the way things are for me now. Who knows what could happen though 40 years form now when I'm old and posibly crazy. Who knows.

[dreamingoftigers]

Maybe I should move back to Canada. I hate the weather though.

 

Its all a confusing situation to me. I guess I can only speak for myself I would never be living on the streets the way things are for me now. Who knows what could happen though 40 years form now when I'm old and posibly crazy. Who knows.

 

After the US housing crash and the energy prices slumped, it has slowed.

 

Fort Mac is regaining power though.

 

Although it cracks me up to see Albertans talk about The Recession. I built my business charging $40 per hour to clean homes. Well $30-$40 depending on costs and client. A Recession in Alberta is like a boom everywhere else.

[Nightsky]

After the US housing crash and the energy prices slumped, it has slowed.

 

Fort Mac is regaining power though.

 

Although it cracks me up to see Albertans talk about The Recession. I built my business charging $40 per hour to clean homes. Well $30-$40 depending on costs and client. A Recession in Alberta is like a boom everywhere else.

 

well good for you if you're doing good and working atleast 20 hours a week at that rate with little to no costs in business. I hate cleaning so I hope you sing and enjoy it.

[dreamingoftigers]

My business closed last year due to personal complications, but I might start again soon.

 

I enjoyed a lot of meeting the clients etc. Scrubbing showers sucked and employees were a nightmare!

 

An interesting point: the business was actually my husband's idea. He really got it bang-on with the demand in the area etc.

 

It is interesting to see someone so resourceful being on the street for so long.

[Nightsky]

My business closed last year due to personal complications, but I might start again soon.

 

I enjoyed a lot of meeting the clients etc. Scrubbing showers sucked and employees were a nightmare!

 

An interesting point: the business was actually my husband's idea. He really got it bang-on with the demand in the area etc.

 

It is interesting to see someone so resourceful being on the street for so long.

 

Well I've read your posts and your husband has created a lot of problems for himself. I'm not saying he wants these problems. Thing is he's behaving in a way that can only lead to them.

[dreamingoftigers]

Yes, quite certainly.

 

Since our daughter has been gone, that really snapped him out of la-la land.

 

When I met him, I saw the most determined person I have ever met in my life. He could accomplish so much when he wanted and had focus.

 

The scary side of that came out when he was just as determined to be self-destructive.

 

I made a commitment to myself to be more determined to do all that I could then he was about being self-destructive.

 

I faltered a lot. I gave in more often then I wish I did. I'm in a pretty good place now with life in general, seeing the bigger picture and how unfair it can be at times.

 

My main focus is my daughter.

However, the marriage, although brutally battered has pulled through by the skin of it's ass. Treatment, therapy and the terms to be worked for the return of our daughter have pushed monumental changes in him. And vindicated me more than I thought.

 

My daughter will need so much help to overcome this. But at this rate, I believe that the three of us will move forward.

 

It isn't something I would recommend to everyone, I am pretty die-hard is all. I put an infinitely high value on family, despite mental illness. Which is exactly what this is. We are going to the Amen Brain Clinic in Tacoma to see what exactly is shifting around upstairs.

[SmileFace]

Stop being so tough! You should ask for help if you get in that situation. I used to know people who would sleep on campus in a classroom over.

I won't say I don't have a problem asking for help. It isn't in me to seek help from others so yes I can say I was being tough but I only did so since I think it has helped me in the long run. Yes I could of ran back home tons of times so that I will have a warm place to sleep. However that will mean I will be back home and I am not ok with that so if it meant a few cold nights until I got my self together sobeit. I have never considered myself homeless since I decided to be by choice.

[Crusoe]

I'm just curious to know who has experienced this. I would like to hear your stories of how you came to be homeless and how or if you got out of it.

 

On my 18th birthday my father told me I was a man and showed me the door. Lived on the road for a while with my girl. She died when I was 19 so I got drunk and signed up for a few causes. After a while I decided to come back to England and start again. Spent 6 months living rough whilst working my ar*e off to get together a deposit for a flat. Gradually grew a collection of hand tools that fit in my jacket pockets and found some regular clients. Had to hide you were homeless though, people don't trust you if they know. Later I manged to buy a push bike to make travelling easier and rent a small lock up that allowed me to sleep inside and store some larger tools. Was a pretty tough as it was winter. Was 23 when I got my first fixed abode.

 

Could have gone to my parents for help, never would have though. I was a man, capable, self suffuicient, no need to take the easy way out.

 

For the most part, it's self pity, whinging and sense of entilement that keeps you on the streets. Some genuinely need a helping hand, many prefer to wallow, point, blame and make excuses.

Edited March 18, 2012 by Crusoe

[Crusoe]

When I met him, I saw the most determined person I have ever met in my life. He could accomplish so much when he wanted and had focus.

 

 

Often find that. I have two Buds who were orphans that grew up on the streets. Both are now very successful, inspirational men. Their wives don't have the easiest of lives though.

[dreamingoftigers]

Over the years there have been some on and off associations with my husbands friends.

 

The whole way that they lived is pretty interesting, like a subcommunity. They all go around and meet up in various cities, they all seem to know each other or friends of one another.

 

Weird thing: once he quit drinking and living out there, the majority of them cut him off. Almost like he kind of betrayed them or something. People he knew for years just didn't want to talk to him anymore.

 

Not many of them outgrew the lifestyle. Of the ones that did:

 

J, (probably the best example)

She was on the streets here in Calgary, I knew her when I worked with her at a grocery store earlier on. She was terminated and then moved to drugs and street life. Her mother was a single parent and a ridiculously abusive woman. (in fact she wrote all kinds of crazy **** on her daughter's fb every time she'd get pissed off over anything, so that all of her friends would see it.)

 

It turned out after I met my h in Kamloops that he knew J too. (what are the odds? And we didn't find out until after we were engaged. It also turned out that J had moved back with her mother in the trailer park across from my parents. Calgary is a million people, the odds of that is just staggering. The two homes face each other across from a small field.)

 

Anyways: she outgrew the street and got together with a guy she knew from junior high. She got pregnant and after child 2 they got married. Her employment history is incredibly checkered (including working for me being a nightmare!). After 2 years of being married the marriage collapsed. (oh yeah, we all moved next door to each other in a duplex for about a year. Then we moved over one more house.)

 

She was pretty promiscuous towards the end of it. I will say that her H was not helpful with her and I dont think either one of them really grew up. She ran away with another guy. 6 months later, that split. Now she is with one of his ex-friends. The weird thing about this us that it actually seems to have some staying power. He is incredibly nice and seems to be an all-around good guy.

 

She is still pretty lazy and screams at her kids non-stop. She has also been living in my upstairs that last 4 months after being kicked out by the last guy. It's pretty taxing. She drives me nuts a lot but she is still my friend. I believe that her prior abuse lead to get life on the streets and maturity level. The scars still continue but some things appear to get better.

 

Another piece of fun: her ex-ass husband lives two doors down in the old place again after getting kicked out of another home. Ugh, he's annoying as Hell.

 

A different example of a former homeless. DS lived on the streets of Ottawa with my h. She was a heroin addict and had a child with her dealer/bf. After having her child she tried migrate off of the streets with her bf. Her bf lacked the skills etc, to make it off and still lives/travels that way. Due to addictive factors he slowly lost contact with his son altogether. She met someone else, married and had another child. They run a homecleaning business in PQ. they seem like a really healthy family.

 

Another friend that my h was able to keep in touch with named JTF came over to our place when h and I first moved in together. He was hooked on heroin (?) and eventually switched over to methadone and has completed the program to safely quit using. He has a son and currently lives in Edmonton. His sons mother was a traveller as well and had a harder time leaving street life. He works and has stabilized but has constant custody issues over his son.

 

Most of the ones that won't keep contact of any sort are still out there.

 

One that I actually liked a fair bit was S. He stayed over for a few weeks this summer. Really great with our daughter etc. Raging alcoholic. Doesn't want to quit the lifestyle and his teeth are rotted out. He doesn't even have email. Got himself a vasectomy very young because he doesn't want to pass on what he calls "bad genes." his parents were very abusive especially after his brother died very young in an accident. They are now dead so he effectively has no one and feels responsible for his brothers death.

 

What shocked me was how many people that my h knew that have died very young. Overdoses, accidents etc. Even his ex-fiancée.

 

He was probably reasonably close friends with at least a dozen or so people who didn't make it out of their 20s. And many older street bums who don't tend to live past 40.

 

People I know personally that have died:

 

My great grandmother: 103

My great uncle Bob: 80s

My great Aunt Jane: 80s

My great Aunt Kicky: 80s

NNG: early 20s plane crash

D, the manager at a Wendy's I worked at for 3 months: 40s, suicide.

 

Just seems weird.