Crusoe Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 Weird thing: once he quit drinking and living out there, the majority of them cut him off. Almost like he kind of betrayed them or something. People he knew for years just didn't want to talk to him anymore. Yup, I found that too. Like going straight and getting on with your life made you a traitor. Snobbery of the noble bum. I met some wonderful and interesting people back then, or so they seemed initially, but they want you down with them. They don't want out, they want you in. I also saw many not reach the age of 30. Last funeral I bothered to go to was a girl called Lou. I found her one day in bin after she'd been beat and raped by a gang of kids. Lovely girl, heart of gold and we were close back then, not a couple, just friends. I would go out and find some money for us while she took care of wherever we were calling home. When the opportunity to get out arose I asked her to come with me, she wouldn't. At the funeral the remaining crowd accused me of abandoning her. Couldn't be bothered to explain she abandoned herself and that they were the ones who encouraged her to stay in the gutter. Misery loves company. The remaining few still revel in their chosen path. Of the two that did get out, one is professor and the other has just finished building a hospital in a less fortunate part of the world. The latter had a terrible childhood, never once used it as an excuse to be anything less than all he could be, though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I think it has a lot to go with the fact that without mutual addictions abs lifestyle, there is nothing that bonds a lot of these friendships together. Without regular social convention, the bonding is almost more pack-like, animalistic. "we all have to protect each other, but watch out for No. 1." The reason for this being abusive/neglectful upbringing and then add in substance abuse to knock out a lot of the brains reasoning centers nicely. So really, once you've left the Pack/tribe you are kind of on your own. Unfortunately if you've had trouble fitting in, the world doesn't make it much easier. When I tell people I married a homeless man (I rarely do now) it is like saying I married someone with Down's Syndrome or something. Just an odd thing to do and "why would you do that? Something must be wrong with you." There seems to be a perception of this "less than human, could be very dangerous" element to it. I find it neither. The vast majority of homeless I have spent time among etc. Were hospitable, decent, nice, but screwed up in some way. I am far more threatened by 20-something jocks with bad attitudes coming out of a bar on Friday night then I am by just about any bum or traveller I have ever met. In fact the "high and mighty" set are the only ones that were consistently aggressive with me when I travelled. I find most bums, if anything, are more passive or passive-aggressive. They tend to let people walk on them more because it "isn't worth getting into it" and if the police get involved, no one will side with them anyways. Even just by me hanging with my husband for so long and travelling the way we did, different areas had different perceptions overall of me. With some people it was like I was an angelic victim of sorts no matter how many times I could've explained over and over that I had a life I could go back to. Other times I was perceived as a lazy, worthless person who simply "didn't want to work." (that one I find so ridiculous/annoying, seriously someone doesn't sleep outside because they can't stand the idea of "work" please.) In fact one of the last things I was called was Scum. It was rare that people who talked with me treated me like I was a human being who could be capable of doing something beyond wearing a paper hat and that maybe I could direct some of my own choices. My people talked to me like they were the parents I never had. Jeez. Sleeping outdoors seems to be perfect advertising for getting all of the lectures and abuse you can handle, and then some. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 (edited) Yup, I'd agree with a lot that, DoT. Many of my favourite people are/were homeless, also many of the worst people I met were homeless. It's a world of extremes. A world where the human mind can run free. I once spent a day painting a pub with an old Irish. In the evening we sat on a bench in Shaftesbury avenue, contemplating where to get some food and watching the top hats and tails queue for the theatres. A fella came along collecting for a charity and walked up and down past all the rich rattling his money box. Not a single person dropped in a coin, instead they pressed up against the theatre walls and looked at their feet. Eventually Irish got up and emptied his pockets in the box. Every penny he had went in and he did it in front of all the penguins. I followed his lead, nobody else did. He then told me we can go hungry for one night and work again tomorrow. As we walked past the queues they once again pressed up against the walls and looked away as if we were diseased or mad. He was the sanest man I ever met. He walked with his head high every day whilst the penguins pressed up against walls and looked at their feet. Edited March 18, 2012 by Crusoe 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seneca Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories! I'm amazed at your courage and strength. And I only hope to have that same fortitude that you folks have. Link to post Share on other sites
Crusoe Posted March 18, 2012 Share Posted March 18, 2012 I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories! I'm amazed at your courage and strength. And I only hope to have that same fortitude that you folks have. Are you going to be homeless, Seneca? Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted March 19, 2012 Share Posted March 19, 2012 Why did u choose to be homeless, dot? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seneca Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Are you going to be homeless, Seneca? I was just curious about being homeless and I wanted to learn more. I'm pretty ignorant on the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted March 20, 2012 Share Posted March 20, 2012 I just want to thank everyone for sharing their stories! I'm amazed at your courage and strength. And I only hope to have that same fortitude that you folks have. When you say stuff like that it sounds like you believe you're going to be homeless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Seneca Posted March 21, 2012 Author Share Posted March 21, 2012 You are right. I should be careful on how I word things... Link to post Share on other sites
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