Theloner91 Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 To keep it short, there's a girl I met a while back. After realizing that we had a lot in common and some alcohol we ended up having sex. At that point she was on an open relationship so I kinda saw the possibility of something else at some point. But yesterday she made it official with that other guy. I'm not the feelings kind of guy, but we're very alike and I think I actually like her. Besides she isn't known for being stable or predictable, so what should I do? Should I move aside and let things run their course while I die on the inside a little bit day by day, or should I step up and talk to her, tell her how I feel? I would really appreciate an answer, I need it a lot. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
nick d Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 Personally, I would tell her how I feel.. No sense in stepping aside.. Especially if she just barely got into a relationship. Who knows, maybe she only got with him because she didn't think you would want to be with her.. You should tell her how you feel, and even if you get shut down at least she will know how you truly feel. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 (edited) Your going to have to help me with this; A girl who by your definition, is; "like you" & "isn't known for being stable or predictable" & you, "think you actually like her". She has now chosen to be with someone else & you want to know if you should tell her how you feel? Why not? Now you want her because she isn't available!? Sometimes, just sometimes; it's NOT all about US! not just our feelings but hers as well as the boy she chose are an issue here as well. I agree with you, the two of you may be alike if your description of her is correct when you say she isn't known for being stable or predictable. For what it's worth I am truly sorry for what you are going through & if you decided to tell her I hope you will be discreet about it & then respect her answer. Edited March 15, 2012 by oldguy Link to post Share on other sites
Author Theloner91 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Thanks for the quick answers Your going to have to help me with this; A girl who by your definition, is; "like you" & "isn't known for being stable or predictable" & you, "think you actually like her". She has now chosen to be with someone else & you want to know if you should tell her how you feel? Why not? Now you want her because she isn't available!? Sometimes, just sometimes; it's NOT all about US! not just our feelings but hers as well as the boy she chose are an issue here as well. I agree with you, the two of you may be alike if your description of her is correct when you say she isn't known for being stable or predictable. For what it's worth I am truly sorry for what you are going through & if you decided to tell her I hope you will be discreet about it & then respect her answer. Well, it may sound like I want her because she isn't available any more, but to be honest I was still trying to process how I felt, but I guess I do want her. So I should speak my mind? When would it be better? Now because it's just starting, or later after the relationship really settles in? About what I'd say, it'd be something like: I told you before I didn't want to be your friend (I told her right around when we met). Believe me I wish I could, but I can't. In the beginning I wasn't sure about how I felt, you know me, I'm not the best when it comes to feelings. But now I know that I feel something for you, you're a very special girl (Explain her why) and now I sincerely don't know what to do, or where do we stand... Another big issue is the fact that we have a circle of friends in common, and should she reject me it'd suck a lot. I can't even find the right words here... perhaps you guys could help me with that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Theloner91 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 So? can those words be improved? I mean I know the feelings are what really matter, but speaking the right words can make all the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 So? can those words be improved? I mean I know the feelings are what really matter, but speaking the right words can make all the difference. I'm not ignoring, I need to leave for awhile Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 So? can those words be improved? I mean I know the feelings are what really matter, but speaking the right words can make all the difference. Thanks for the quick answers Well, it may sound like I want her because she isn't available any more, but to be honest I was still trying to process how I felt, but I guess I do want her. So I should speak my mind? When would it be better? Now because it's just starting, or later after the relationship really settles in? About what I'd say, it'd be something like: I told you before I didn't want to be your friend (I told her right around when we met). Believe me I wish I could, but I can't. In the beginning I wasn't sure about how I felt, you know me, I'm not the best when it comes to feelings. But now I know that I feel something for you, you're a very special girl (Explain her why) and now I sincerely don't know what to do, or where do we stand... Another big issue is the fact that we have a circle of friends in common, and should she reject me it'd suck a lot. I can't even find the right words here... perhaps you guys could help me with that too. First; I appreciate you not getting pissy when I was busting your balls:D. I just wanted you to hear what you where saying. As for talking to her, that's your choice as is what your going to say. You know the girl and what you say has to come from you. I'm sure you'll do just fine. Say what you need to say & no more, that is don't rattle on because your nervous and when your done, don't say anymore, just listen. Oh, and I know what your saying about your social circle but ultimately this has less to do with anyone except the two of you. With that in mind I would only recommend you keep it very discrete. I hope things work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Theloner91 Posted March 15, 2012 Author Share Posted March 15, 2012 Yeah worst case scenario I can pull off something like "Well, I guess destiny forced a friend on me" (Regarding the fact that I'll still have to see her due to our mutual friends). Anyway, you've been very helpful. To say that I'm desperate right now would be a monumental understatement. So yeah... Thanks a lot man. Link to post Share on other sites
oldguy Posted March 15, 2012 Share Posted March 15, 2012 If you get a chance let us know how things work out. Link to post Share on other sites
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