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today i have many names, i will call me "bitch"


heart broken and confused, OH SO CONFUSED!

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heart broken and confused, OH SO CONFUSED!

well i have posted here about my bf's drinking and how i feel obligated to go with him to sports game to keep him from drinking his two beer limit that he promised.

 

sometimes i want to go but not anymore cause i feel like i'm babysitting him and it has taken the fun out of it. well this is may get a little lengthly but please read: my bf was going to buy some binoculars for the games, we were going to go together to this store where this lady works that is a client of his, he is a loan officer.

 

well she had to come to his office to pick up some papers and he had her bring some binoculars with her so he could try them out. well when i found this out i was very upset, i wanted to go with him and do this together as we had planned plus i felt like another woman was doing his shopping and i told him that and that i would of went to pick them up for him.

 

he was mad at me cause i got mad at him, but it was soon dropped and not mentioned again...........until today.....

 

we were already to go to the game and stopped at the office to get the tickets, i always tell him to hurry up cause he can't ever just go in and get something he has to do this and do that, or so he thinks.

 

anyway, he brought the binoculars out to the car, and laid them on my lap, i then said "oh yeah, i'm still mad at you about them" and put them in the glove box, which is where i would of put them anyway, probably.

 

well he got so pist then and there and peeled out of the drive way so fast and sped away like a maniac and starting calling me a fxxxking bitxh, and all kinds of names and said he hates me and and was giving me the finger and telling me i've been nit picking all day.

 

i told him to take me home and he wouldn't, i told him to let me out and he wouldn't. so we drove in silence and all i wanted was to get away from him. well we were going to go eat first so when we got to the restaurant i went to the bathroom and then left out the door.

 

maybe that was not a good thing to do and i walked a couple blocks and almost went back out of guilt, but i kept hearing him say "i hate you!" that hurt more then anything i have ever heard in my life.

 

he isn't normally that quick to anger, at times yes he has a short fuse, but today was shorter and so unexpected i didn't know what to think.

 

so now he's at the game and i'm sitting at home wondering what will happen when he comes home. will he still be mad? will he leave me? should i leave him cause i have so many hangups and alot of them interfere with our relationship and i know that.

 

i feel so bad, and i think about all the good things about him and then all the bad and i am even more confused cause the good are really good but the bad really hurt. like when i try to talk to him he don't hear me if the t.v. is on or the radio, i have to compete for his attention so i do it back to him.

 

my daughter who sees how he does this, thinks he is a jerk at times for it, but she also likes him too, but she is as confused as me. is there any hope for me? should i leave him and just do what i have to do to help myself? then maybe later i can handle a relationship, or just stay single forever, i wouldn't mind right now if i did!

 

it would be in his best interest to get away from me, but it would hurt both of us, but in the end it would probably be better for us both. but how do you say g'bye to someone who has treated you better then any other man, but who also treats you with little respect by ignoring you half the time? what can i do? i hurt so much!

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heart broken and confused, OH SO CONFUSED!
well i have posted here about my bf's drinking and how i feel obligated to go with him to sports game to keep him from drinking his two beer limit that he promised. sometimes i want to go but not anymore cause i feel like i'm babysitting him and it has taken the fun out of it. well this is may get a little lengthly but please read: my bf was going to buy some binoculars for the games, we were going to go together to this store where this lady works that is a client of his, he is a loan officer.

 

well she had to come to his office to pick up some papers and he had her bring some binoculars with her so he could try them out. well when i found this out i was very upset, i wanted to go with him and do this together as we had planned plus i felt like another woman was doing his shopping and i told him that and that i would of went to pick them up for him. he was mad at me cause i got mad at him, but it was soon dropped and not mentioned again...........until today..... we were already to go to the game and stopped at the office to get the tickets, i always tell him to hurry up cause he can't ever just go in and get something he has to do this and do that, or so he thinks. anyway, he brought the binoculars out to the car, and laid them on my lap, i then said "oh yeah, i'm still mad at you about them" and put them in the glove box, which is where i would of put them anyway, probably. well he got so pist then and there and peeled out of the drive way so fast and sped away like a maniac and starting calling me a fxxxking bitxh, and all kinds of names and said he hates me and and was giving me the finger and telling me i've been nit picking all day. i told him to take me home and he wouldn't, i told him to let me out and he wouldn't. so we drove in silence and all i wanted was to get away from him. well we were going to go eat first so when we got to the restaurant i went to the bathroom and then left out the door. maybe that was not a good thing to do and i walked a couple blocks and almost went back out of guilt, but i kept hearing him say "i hate you!" that hurt more then anything i have ever heard in my life. he isn't normally that quick to anger, at times yes he has a short fuse, but today was shorter and so unexpected i didn't know what to think.

 

so now he's at the game and i'm sitting at home wondering what will happen when he comes home. will he still be mad? will he leave me? should i leave him cause i have so many hangups and alot of them interfere with our relationship and i know that. i feel so bad, and i think about all the good things about him and then all the bad and i am even more confused cause the good are really good but the bad really hurt. like when i try to talk to him he don't hear me if the t.v. is on or the radio, i have to compete for his attention so i do it back to him. my daughter who sees how he does this, thinks he is a jerk at times for it, but she also likes him too, but she is as confused as me. is there any hope for me? should i leave him and just do what i have to do to help myself? then maybe later i can handle a relationship, or just stay single forever, i wouldn't mind right now if i did! it would be in his best interest to get away from me, but it would hurt both of us, but in the end it would probably be better for us both. but how do you say g'bye to someone who has treated you better then any other man, but who also treats you with little respect by ignoring you half the time? what can i do? i hurt so much!

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Please be calm. It takes awhile to think about your message.

 

I'm not really qualified to say much. Hoping others are on-line.

 

All I can really do is pray a bit while they compose their thoughts.

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