Is it time to act?

[Amsosad]

Hi

 

I need a bit of advice as I am a bit confused about what to do. I have been married for over ten years and we have a child. The relationship is pretty much dead. He hardly spends his time with me and he has a very close relationship with his laptop I phone as he is on them most of the time. He has also been chatting to other women and I know he prefers doing that than try to work on our marriage. At first. I was jealous as he would give the best of him to these women and I would get all the bad side of him but I am realising that I am deeply unhappy with my life and I am jealous that I am not appreciating life like he does. I want to say first that I am not planning to divorce him as I beleive in the vows we took and would try until there is nothing else to try.

I am the only earner, I work full time from eight to five. At home I do everything

And my week ends are spent cleaning up or preparing for my work.

I feel deeply dissatisfied with my life as I never have quality time and I feel like I am grinding for nothing in return.

I started to look after my apperance and it helps a bit with my confidence but what is missing is communication with adults. I have no local friends as I relocated due to work.

I am dreaming working in a small shop or place where you can talk to people and going on a course. I want to be me again but financially is risky. I started developping health problems due to stress. I would like to meet people and be happy again, feel I exist.

But is it a fantasy I should push away? I cant really go out as I have a young child who needs me all the time. It also means dropping standards of living too and change school etc...

But I am so unhappy. I know my husband wont change and I should not rely on him to make me happy.

Sometimes I dream I am leaving everything to start again but I know I cant.

Is there anybody who went through this and could share some tip?

 

Thanks

[woots31]

If I can do it so can you. I was with my ex for nine years. Thru his cheating, stealing, and lieing. I got away, it was not easy at first and it still is not easy. I have officially been gone for eight months and living with my mother. Not an ideal situation but I am almost out and on my own. Just because you don't want the divorce does not mean you should stay there and become a door mat. Get out on your own, he may come running after you. Mine came running after me but I knew he would never change and I never married him, even though he asked me all the time. If it was meant to be it will be and the two of you can learn how to be what each other need. But for now it sounds like you need to go out and find what you need first.