"creeper"

[johan]

You do, but in a cute way.

[snug.bunny]

Creep is a good term for someone who you suspect is so selfish and/or oblivious that your personal boundaries and maybe even your safety is at risk. Their mannerisms make you feel uneasy, and they invade your space uninvited at times that aren't appropriate. Their actions leave you wondering what is next and almost totally convinced you don't want any part of it. And on top of that you know that they don't like to take "no" for an answer.

 

They may have good intentions, but who cares? They can have their good intentions somewhere else.

 

Guys who are too sensitive to the term tend to have fragile egos. Pretty much every guy is going to come off a little creepy to some woman during his single life.

 

This is a good assessment.

 

The men you listed, seem to have raised some 'red flags' for you:

 

he told me he was 29 but he was really 33

he lied to me about his name

he was already getting jealous if i hung out with my guy friends

strange ideas about me having a purple aura and about the lamp that I use to study giving him radiation and about me being an indigo child

but we flirted and told me his "thing" needed a check-up from a doctor

he warned me not to tell his sister about where he lives because he has been keeping the fact that he bought a house a secret from his whole family because of some "money issues"

On the way there his car smelled like pot and I asked him if he smoked and he said yes that he smokes regularly with his guy friends at least one a week

The other items you mentioned (the 'excessive' phone contact, the 'excessive' facebook contact, wanting to introduce you to his friends/family) most likely would not have bothered you IF, you were 'into' them.

 

I think given the items you perceive as 'red flags', are valid, and in combination with the above, doesn't 'sit right' with you. That's a good thing, because you are aware and in turn, being proactive in terms of what may or may not be good for you relationship-wise.

[Professor X]

This is a good assessment.

 

The men you listed, seem to have raised some 'red flags' for you:

 

The other items you mentioned (the 'excessive' phone contact, the 'excessive' facebook contact, wanting to introduce you to his friends/family) most likely would not have bothered you IF, you were 'into' them.

 

I think given the items you perceive as 'red flags', are valid, and in combination with the above, doesn't 'sit right' with you. That's a good thing, because you are aware and in turn, being proactive in terms of what may or may not be good for you relationship-wise.

 

No1 ever argued against her decision to not continue seeing them, because yes, they all raised red flag. The issue was about her labeling them all as creepy.

 

Red flag =/= creepy, opposed to creepy = red flag.

[dasein]

Guys who are too sensitive to the term tend to have fragile egos. Pretty much every guy is going to come off a little creepy to some woman during his single life.

 

Women who are too sensitive to the terms "slut" or "bitch" tend to have fragile egos. Pretty much every woman is going to come off a little "slutty" or "bitchy" to some guy in her single life.

 

All generic, insulting mostly gender based terms that rise to the level of overuse need to go. A woman who lets you buy her a drink is not necessarily a "golddigger," and a less desirable man who is mildly persistent in showing a woman attention is not necessarily a "creeper."

[eleanorhurting]

You do, but in a cute way.

 

really? I guess im an acquired taste

[snug.bunny]

No1 ever argued against her decision to not continue seeing them, because yes, they all raised red flag. The issue was about her labeling them all as creepy.

 

Red flag =/= creepy, opposed to creepy = red flag.

 

Yes, I do understand the opposition as OP's title of the thread is 'creeper' and she provided her version of its definition.

 

It's best to avoid labeling and grouping men as 'creepers', as it will most likely not be received favorably. My perception of her is that she is young and is acquiring new experience in the dating world so her definition of the term may be a bit preemptive at this juncture.

[counterman]

I never did like the word 'creep'. It's used way too loosely. In fact, I'm sure I've been called creepy simply because a girl was not interested. I've seen some girls toss the word around and have seen others treated the labelled 'creep' treated differently. I've seen other guys call a guy a creep for even trying to talk to a girl.

[threebyfate]

eleanor, live and learn. Both these guys are liars, hence creepers.

 

p.s. A $25K salary wouldn't be sufficient to qualify for a mortgage.

[Cracker Jack]

I never did like the word 'creep'. It's used way too loosely. In fact, I'm sure I've been called creepy simply because a girl was not interested. I've seen some girls toss the word around and have seen others treated the labelled 'creep' treated differently. I've seen other guys call a guy a creep for even trying to talk to a girl.

 

Pretty much how I see it. However, there are times when I've seen a guy displaying behavior that can easily fall under that category. Also seen a few men who politely approached and tried to start a conversation with a woman unfairly labeled as one, too. But like Dust always said, "You'll creep women out just by existing, so it's silly to worry about it." I think that's the way most men need to think.

[eleanorhurting]

eleanor, live and learn. Both these guys are liars, hence creepers.

 

p.s. A $25K salary wouldn't be sufficient to qualify for a mortgage.

 

you are right i did find this to be odd

[johan]

eleanor, live and learn. Both these guys are liars, hence creepers.

 

p.s. A $25K salary wouldn't be sufficient to qualify for a mortgage.

 

I agree.

 

The benefit of using the word creep, by the way is that it draws out the sensitive guys who are prone to outbursts. Masculinists, who in their quest for equality with women, would have us all acting womanly. Guys, I don't want to menstruate!

[dasein]

The benefit of using the word creep, by the way is that it draws out the sensitive guys who are prone to outbursts.

 

The benefit of using the words "bitch," "slut," and "golddigger" is that they draw out the sensitive women who are prone to outbursts.

 

Terms that apply negatively to genders, regardless of -which- gender, need to go. Women don't have a monopoly on objecting to overused terms that are used primarily against their gender, and suggesting that a man objecting to such terms that are typically used against the male gender is being reactionary, sensitive, "less masculine" or a "masculinist" or whatever the attempted point was is idiotic.

[eleanorhurting]

you are right both are wrong. this thread has made me feel lonely for some reason

[johan]

The benefit of using the words "bitch," "slut," and "golddigger" is that they draw out the sensitive women who are prone to outbursts.

 

Terms that apply negatively to genders, regardless of -which- gender, need to go. Women don't have a monopoly on objecting to overused terms that are used primarily against their gender, and suggesting that a man objecting to such terms that are typically used against the male gender is being reactionary, sensitive, "less masculine" or a "masculinist" or whatever the attempted point was is idiotic.

 

I agree. We should respond strongly when people call us names. Because those hurt.

 

You know the saying: "the whiny wheel gets the grease."

[FitChick]

The actor lied about his name and age because he is an actor and that is what they sometimes have to do to get work. Plenty of actors change their names. A TV writer friend had to lie about her age just to get work as a writer. Her agent fired her when she turned 40. Rampant age discrimination in the entertainment industry.

 

The fact that he lived with his parents would have bothered me more.

[threebyfate]

I agree.

 

The benefit of using the word creep, by the way is that it draws out the sensitive guys who are prone to outbursts. Masculinists, who in their quest for equality with women, would have us all acting womanly. Guys, I don't want to menstruate!

Oh bullseye, they do come across like Mean Girls!

[eleanorhurting]

I agree. We should respond strongly when people call us names. Because those hurt.

 

You know the saying: "the whiny wheel gets the grease."

 

what does that mean?

[aj22one]

And all this time I thought creep stood for Committee for the Re-Election of the President. And hatred of creeps was just another way of expressing anti-Nixon sentiments.

[Thieves]

Their mannerisms make you feel uneasy, and they invade your space uninvited at times that aren't appropriate. Their actions leave you wondering what is next and almost totally convinced you don't want any part of it. And on top of that you know that they don't like to take "no" for an answer.

 

I know I've met a true "creeper" whenever the person starts talking to me and I feel on edge, as if my safety around them is questionable. I feel like they have hidden intentions in their words/actions, and I'm put off by their clingy persistence.

 

I remember this guy who used to work temporarily at my job last summer. He worked with a temp agency and seemed like an alright man at first, but eventually I started getting the 'creeps' around him. He was at least 20 years older than me, he had a missing tooth which he said fell out during a bicycle accident, but later I found out he'd had a case of vehicular homocide in his past. Every time I looked in his eyes, he looked like he was maybe on hard drugs. He would call me beautiful and ask me out every day at work, even though I said "no" 100 times. He would sort of follow me around and stare. I'm sure he was a nice guy inside, and I felt bad... but I felt so damn uneasy around him that it was just crazy.

 

That, and he also offered one day to take me to see a "movie" alone after work at a place across the street from where we worked. The problem? There was no movie theatre across the street. At all. And this guy had lived and worked in the area for a long time. That creeped me out, most definitely.

[lino]

I've only heard that word used on American TV or on this website.

No one uses cheesey language like that here

[Imajerk17]

The term "creeper" is actually a powerful word. I would say it is even more powerful than "slut", because women tend to have so much social power than men do. This isn't just my opinion. Many "spam" emails in the olden days actually used to have the sender's name look female.

 

If you are a woman and you call a guy a "creeper", then you've pretty much done the closest thing to blacklisting him socially. His chances of getting anywhere with any girl within earshot will have gone pretty much to zero. On the other hand, if you call a guy an "azzhole" or "jerk", then...

 

My point is that I am glad you are making a point to use the word "creep" responsibly.

 

BUT both of the stories you mentioned, the guy seemed weird and sketchy.

Edited March 19, 2012 by Imajerk17

[dispatch3d]

You rejected them for good reasons I think. I don't think the way a guy asks you out or the frequency should have any effect on whether you date them or not. I think the red flags you saw were super legit, like the pot smoking thing with the second guy and the "artist" sounds super loopy and strange. I don't think the fact the guys call and ask for dates frequently should be a huge negative sign. The reality is girls aren't putting in any effort with men, so I think that dynamic is a lot more prevelant in our culture than it should be (unfortunately).