AD1980 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 i 100% feel the exact same way. i feel offended more than hurt to be honest. this generally happens to me in drinking environments though, i blame the overinflated self confidence of the pursuer on alcohol. Poor baby god forbid a guy shows interest in you if hes not up to your level of attractiveness Perhaps you should bring a bodyguard with you and not alloe these undesriable men near you since your such a prize.. Link to post Share on other sites
louise_23 Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Poor baby god forbid a guy shows interest in you if hes not up to your level of attractiveness Perhaps you should bring a bodyguard with you and not alloe these undesriable men near you since your such a prize.. im sorry but any forty plus year old approaching someone in their early 20s is a clear cut idiot. go get a reality check and fish in your own pond. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I dont want to come off as stuck up or a bitch its just that when unattractive Men approach me i feel like i cant be that attractive if an ugly guy thinks he has a chance with me I know its not the pc thing to say or maybe a little insensitive but its how i feel,i am not mean to these guys i treat them as people and let them down as nice as i can but at times i lashed out because deep down i was hurt by them approaching me i know its not right but its what i feel Here is the problem HopelessRomantic, you've tied too much of your self identification and worth in other people. This is truly an over common problem. So you equate, who you consider less attractive men to be, to a deminished self worth. The thing is, even if a hot guy does hit on you and you feel all good about yourself, it's fake and pretty worthless. Sure, the intial feel good feeling might be there but since it's based on something so shallow (his looks) and something very tentaitive and easily breakable (your self confidence), it means jack. You've made how you feel about yourself dependent on other people and how *you* judgments them. That is really not healthy. And you should ask yourself how you would want men to not only treat of you, but think of you, if you were in the same posistion as these guys. How about instead of play-acting about being "nice" for face value toward these men, you cultivate real skills that let you actually feel truely nice toward these guys even when you turn them down. It is not okay to lash out at other people because they hit on you. No matter how *you* "feel". It's time to work on yourself and how you feel about yourself inside and stop making these men a target for what's really going on inside you. Which actually has nothing to do with them. For the record, I have dated some really hot unattractive men. They had a quality that was undeniable and I was always proud to be with them. I also have found some stereotypically hot guys a turn off. You will be missing out on a lot of amazing guys if you take everyone for their book cover value. Now I'm not saying there shouldn't be attraction. I just sometimes think people need to work on the usually narrow terms they use to base attraction on. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I have women I am not attracted to try and hit on me and I am nice about it and tell them I am married. It doesn't offend me and when I was single I sometimes just told them I had a girlfriend and I would never cheat. As long as they respectfully take rejection it is nothing to get angry about. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 I've done the same thing Woggle. The only time I had been silently annoyed when someone hit on me was when the men were much much older then me. A few years older, no big deal. But when men twice my age hit on me, it just makes me feel disappointed, not because I feel less attractive, it's for my passionate feelings about womanhood and how men treat/think of women and age. But I never lashed out at them. I just rejected them kindly. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 The only time I am annoyed is when I show women my wedding ring and they think it is invitation to try even harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted April 13, 2012 Share Posted April 13, 2012 Yeap! That's crappy! Geez. That makes me sad to hear. One time this guy at my gym hit on me and he was asking me for my number and stuff. This other woman saw us and came up to me to tell me he was married with a child. So a couple days later when he came up to talk to me I asked him how his wife and child where. Shut him up real quick. He didn't know what to say. He started babbling about how he just wanted to be friends. Despite all the flirting he had been doing before. Link to post Share on other sites
prune juice Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 im sorry but any forty plus year old approaching someone in their early 20s is a clear cut idiot. go get a reality check and fish in your own pond. when ad1980 caught you, the story changed. guys you weren't attracted to switched to guys 20 years older than you. you gals can't even keep your story straight. Link to post Share on other sites
louise_23 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 when ad1980 caught you, the story changed. guys you weren't attracted to switched to guys 20 years older than you. you gals can't even keep your story straight. guys i find unattractive = forty plus. same story. apologies for not making that obvious enough for you . Link to post Share on other sites
prune juice Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 guys i find unattractive = forty plus. same story. apologies for not making that obvious enough for you . what if 20 something nerd guy hit on you? Link to post Share on other sites
louise_23 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 what if 20 something nerd guy hit on you? nerds generally dont actually. the one that ever has im friends with now. Link to post Share on other sites
counterman Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I don't think it's 'wrong' to feel bad but it is not necessarily a reflection on your attractiveness. I for one am pretty average looking but I have approached many attractive women, some of which I have dated. Fact is you would never know if you don't try and any other decent guy who feels he doesn't have a chance with a gorgeous girl, I would encourage him to give it a go. In saying that, if I ever met a girl who felt bad that I approached then and thought that I never stood a chance, implying that she's some prize beauty, well, she's just not worth dealing with, is she? I've had girls I found unattractive show interest in me. I've never ever felt bad and thought it was a reflection of my own attractiveness. In fact, I felt bad for turning them away because some of them were the sweetest, kindest girls I've ever met. Link to post Share on other sites
louise_23 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 they don't generally but what if some get the nerve and do it. i work with lots of nerds. gals don't respond any better to them then to an old ugly guy hitting on them. ill believe it when i see it. and then ill get back to you. Link to post Share on other sites
firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 yes it is WRONG for you to say and feel that. is unattractive guys are human and have a heart and feelings too you know? and yes, you do come across as a stuck up bitch as you put it wrong wrong wrong. no wonder so many single people and women keep saying "I cant find a decent man. there isnt one" - but there are plenty especially the unattractive ones who are TOTALLY loyal.... not like "pretty boys" be open minded. dont be a snob. dont act stuck up. you wont get far in life with that attitude AT ALL. you will keep being on your own and date endlessly and not find someone with this perception and attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
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