I am a young married woman who has fallen for a younger married man

[hopelesslady]

I am a married women that has two children. I have been with my husband for ten years. I am only 31 and I am always alone with my children. My husband works a lot of hours and fells the need to go and have drinks with the guys almost 4 to 5 days a week. He is a great provider but I feel the need for more than material things. I am very lonley and have found myself having feelings for another man who is also married with a baby. He is always in my mind when I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up.

 

I don't know what to do. This man and I are really intimate and I have extremely strong feelings for him. He makes me feel sexy, important and loved. I can close my eyes and almost smell him, it is so intense, I can hardly stand it. When were able to spend the night together and I revealed to me that he was falling in love with me. I feel the same way. Where there is a void in my home life, he fills.

 

I am not sexually attracted to my husband. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband, he has always been there for me, and he is a good father.. the other man just happens to be everything else.

 

I don't know what to do. Now I am not lonely. But what about my husband?

[blue-green]

I'm not one to totally judge here but you got married when you were 21? I know people get hitched even younger these days but it sounds like you jumped in the boat before checked the rest of the dock.

 

You should tell your husband about what you are feeling or break it off with this other married guy. The longer you wait, the longer you are potentially ripping your family (and his) apart. Think about your beautiful kids and this other guys kids!

 

Do you think these feelings are just going to 'go away' ?

 

If you love your husband or respect him, tell him what's going on.

 

Blue-Geen

[hopelesslady]

Thanks blue-green. I haven't been married for ten years, only six. We have been together for ten. I have treid to tell my husband that I'm lonley, and he does better for awhile and then takes off again. I know he loves me, but I feel like I'm raising his kids while he's having a good time. This other man didn't want to get married, she got pregnant and he did the right thing.

 

I don't want to hurt my husband, but I don't want to be lonely anymore either. I truely wish I could have them both, but I know that isn't possible.

Thanks again for the advise.

[blue-green]

Would you and your husband consider counseling? It sounds like you are happy when he 'works on it for a little while'

 

How do you feel towards this other guy when your husband is doing good? Do you still think about the other guy?

 

If so, then break it off with your husband because it would seem you love him more as a friend.

 

It sounds like (and sounds on chat can be deceiving) you really want out of your current relationship. Dont let it drag on then. The sooner you deal with things the happier everyone will be in the long run? Ask this other guy what he wants and how his family is doing?

 

Your children seem to be the most important in all of this (to me anyway). I know you dont want to hurt them but messing around with this other guy (who has a family as well) is not a good thing for either family and can only get worse if things progress.

 

Good luck and let us know how things turn out. All kinds of people are hear for ya on the boards.

 

Blue-Green