Success Story for reconciliation

[minee]

Hey Guys.. my ex and i got together and i wanted to come back onto this thread and share my story of reconciliation with my ex..

 

We have been together for a year and we broke up for 1 month and a half. During the year, the relationship was as good as any other relationship, fights here and there, up and down, but nothing really out of the ordinary. Well one day, my ex and I got into a fight and he left me drunk at a bar by myself so the next day I broke it off. I called him a week afterwards and told him that we needed to talk but he told me that he put a lot of thought into why he left me at the bar and he thinks that is it better for us to go our separate ways. He said he needed time to sort things out because he was confused as to where our relationship was headed. I accepted it and as much as it hurt me to let him go, I followed NC for 30 days. During this time, neither one of us tried to contact each other, and it pains me to even recall how much it hurt me to cut contact with him out of nowhere but it had to be done.

 

After the 30 days was over, I felt a little better about the break up. I was willing to let him go and didn't feel quite as wounded and vulnerable. I decided to give him a call and exchange our items that we had left at each others house. When we met, it was as if we never had the break. I missed him greatly, and we had so much to catch up on, but still, neither one of us attempted to take it any further than that. So I was back to NC after that meeting. That meeting set me back and now I was confused as to what I should do. I joined this forum and asked questions and basically everyone kept telling me the same thing, NC. I was going crazy like everyone else and needed, wanted desperately to hear back from him. That meeting was such a tease, it was a little taste of what I was craving for the past month and I wanted more. It was driving me INSANE.. and with all my willpower combined I was unable to contain myself, I broke NC. I didn't care if i got hurt or rejected, I needed to contact him.

 

We got together Sunday and I wanted "closure.." If he didn't want to be with me anymore, then I needed to get rejected in person. I don't know if you guys will understand this, but if I was going to move on, I NEEDED to get hurt and slapped around for me to realize that it is really over. It needed to go there. So I braced myself, and met up with him. I talked first and let him know I missed him and apologized for all the things I have done in the past to make him feel this way. I told him I wanted to work things out I told him I loved him, but I would understand if he didn't want to be with me anymore. He apologized for everything he's done and we both put everything on the table. After a good 3 hours talking things over, we both decided that we were both at fault and we needed time to realize how much we missed each other.

 

So now as of today, I dont know where my relationship will end up. But I know we both want to try and work things out and give our 100%. I needed the NC 30 days to really sort my feelings out and to not take my bf for granted. He needed it to reflect on his mistakes. We both needed to grow. But after that 30 NC period, I'm so glad that I was able to break NC to work things out. I think sometimes, couples need a break from each other to sort their feelings out to reflect on their mistakes. There have been many instances among my friends where couples separated temporarily to do some growing and came back even stronger than ever- assuming that both of you guys decide to work on the relationship to prevent it from happening again. I dont think it really matters who calls who, who needs to have the "power" or "upperhand" if you love each other, both parties should be open to compromising and working it out regardless to the fact of who initiated what first. I learned that it doesn't matter if someone is right or wrong, because that doesn't get you anywhere. Sorry the post is long, but I just wanted to share a happy story on LS and I want to thank everyone here who has helped me during my most difficult time. Thank you.

[heatherfeather]

Thank you as this gives me hope

[gotye]

they say if it's over a fight that there is more of a chance

 

mine was after lots of love but then he said he lost feelings but admitted to still having lust... I don't expect a reconciliation but it'd be nice

[GKM]

Im happy for you

 

But I know its not happening with me! He hurt me too much, all the love in the world cant fix that..

[lexaton]

Hey Guys.. my ex and i got together and i wanted to come back onto this thread and share my story of reconciliation with my ex..

 

We have been together for a year and we broke up for 1 month and a half. During the year, the relationship was as good as any other relationship, fights here and there, up and down, but nothing really out of the ordinary. Well one day, my ex and I got into a fight and he left me drunk at a bar by myself so the next day I broke it off. I called him a week afterwards and told him that we needed to talk but he told me that he put a lot of thought into why he left me at the bar and he thinks that is it better for us to go our separate ways. He said he needed time to sort things out because he was confused as to where our relationship was headed. I accepted it and as much as it hurt me to let him go, I followed NC for 30 days. During this time, neither one of us tried to contact each other, and it pains me to even recall how much it hurt me to cut contact with him out of nowhere but it had to be done.

 

After the 30 days was over, I felt a little better about the break up. I was willing to let him go and didn't feel quite as wounded and vulnerable. I decided to give him a call and exchange our items that we had left at each others house. When we met, it was as if we never had the break. I missed him greatly, and we had so much to catch up on, but still, neither one of us attempted to take it any further than that. So I was back to NC after that meeting. That meeting set me back and now I was confused as to what I should do. I joined this forum and asked questions and basically everyone kept telling me the same thing, NC. I was going crazy like everyone else and needed, wanted desperately to hear back from him. That meeting was such a tease, it was a little taste of what I was craving for the past month and I wanted more. It was driving me INSANE.. and with all my willpower combined I was unable to contain myself, I broke NC. I didn't care if i got hurt or rejected, I needed to contact him.

 

We got together Sunday and I wanted "closure.." If he didn't want to be with me anymore, then I needed to get rejected in person. I don't know if you guys will understand this, but if I was going to move on, I NEEDED to get hurt and slapped around for me to realize that it is really over. It needed to go there. So I braced myself, and met up with him. I talked first and let him know I missed him and apologized for all the things I have done in the past to make him feel this way. I told him I wanted to work things out I told him I loved him, but I would understand if he didn't want to be with me anymore. He apologized for everything he's done and we both put everything on the table. After a good 3 hours talking things over, we both decided that we were both at fault and we needed time to realize how much we missed each other.

 

So now as of today, I dont know where my relationship will end up. But I know we both want to try and work things out and give our 100%. I needed the NC 30 days to really sort my feelings out and to not take my bf for granted. He needed it to reflect on his mistakes. We both needed to grow. But after that 30 NC period, I'm so glad that I was able to break NC to work things out. I think sometimes, couples need a break from each other to sort their feelings out to reflect on their mistakes. There have been many instances among my friends where couples separated temporarily to do some growing and came back even stronger than ever- assuming that both of you guys decide to work on the relationship to prevent it from happening again. I dont think it really matters who calls who, who needs to have the "power" or "upperhand" if you love each other, both parties should be open to compromising and working it out regardless to the fact of who initiated what first. I learned that it doesn't matter if someone is right or wrong, because that doesn't get you anywhere. Sorry the post is long, but I just wanted to share a happy story on LS and I want to thank everyone here who has helped me during my most difficult time. Thank you.

 

This is a great story

 

I just got back in a relationship after my bf broke up with me on a whim bc of a mistake I did. I am having trouble getting past the fact he just brokeup with me so quick instead of working things out initially and also how were you able to get past the fact that your bf thought it was ok to ditch you at the bar? Any advice to move on past this stage would be great!

[nick d]

That's great news! I'm happy for you! I hope things work out with you and him!!

[minee]

This is a great story

 

I just got back in a relationship after my bf broke up with me on a whim bc of a mistake I did. I am having trouble getting past the fact he just brokeup with me so quick instead of working things out initially and also how were you able to get past the fact that your bf thought it was ok to ditch you at the bar? Any advice to move on past this stage would be great!

 

It took me a couple of weeks to get past the anger and work through what caused our fight. I couldn't believe it, but people make mistakes, no one is perfect. I think the important thing is what you do after you made the mistake. I made the mistake of breaking up with my bf on a whim instead of working it out with him because i'm so quick tempered. I told my bf I was willing to change and not be so quick to make haste decisions but I ended up doing it again. That didn't mean I loved him any less, I just had to try harder to make sure it didn't happen again. I couldn't change my impulsiveness overnight- but I am willing to work on changing it.

 

I think the biggest thing is realizing where I made the mistake and basically discussing it with your partner. I made the mistake of breaking up with him on the spot. I needed to let him know I was sorry for breaking up on the spot but that he had hurt me by leaving me stranded at the bar.. and that's where we took the time to really discuss what went wrong. If both people acknowledge their faults, not point the blame and work it out in a non-confrontational way, any conflict can be resolved.

[minee]

That's great news! I'm happy for you! I hope things work out with you and him!!

 

Thank you Nick. And thanks so much for being there through my loneliness..

[budley12]

glad things are working out for you. Wish we all had the same outcome.

 

I dont want to be a downer but dont get your hopes up too high yet. My ex and I were going to get back together after a month of NC and then it went to hell and became even worse. I really hope everything works out for you though and you dont go through what I have... having the hope of getting back and having your ex say that "he wants to work on us" and then being dumped right after is worse than the initial breakup.